Hello to all..I've been reading a lot of your posts and left a few comments, so I thought I should have my story out here for others, too. Thank God for this website. I've been feeling Sooooooo alone and evil!

To begin at the beginning, I met BF about 4 years ago. His son was just turning 4 that year, extremely overweight, overindulged, and a banshee. I love BF like no other or I would never have even considered it. ALSO, I have a tendency to bury my head in the sand if my heart is involved and I am a rescuer. SS would "hug" by wrapping arms around ppls neck and dropping his whole weight. (Which was about, I'm guessing 80lbs) Kisses were headbutts. Not to mention the piledrive that landed his head somewhere in your solarplexus. Oh, yeah, he'd run around screaming "I'm gonna pee on you!" Once, BF was emotional and asked "are you gonna leave me because my son is a pain in the b**?" So of course, I jumped right in, trying to make life better for everyone. A little discipline, I thought, and some well applied boundaries, and he'll be all better in no time! Ohhh BOY! Was I ever in for an eduction!

At the beginning, ss liked me, hugged me all the time, told me he loved me, etc. He was carted off every day to my SIL's house by BF for babysitting before he even woke up, then would run back and forth between SIL and MIL's houses all day (they live right next door to each other) playing all ends against the middle. FIL, MIL, SIL, and daddy let him eat anything and everything he wanted, and believe me, he WANTED. Then, environment no2 with his bio mom. She brought him to the meeting spot with a box of doughnuts sitting on his lap. He would scream, sweating, with his hair plastered to his head, fighting to not leave her. And she would not try to soothe him at ALL. She would call in the middle of the week to talk to him and tell him she was baking cookies, or that she had a new kitten or dog for him. Complete emotional torture for him and no consience on her part. I laughed when I read another post where someone said the sun rose and set in bm's backside even though she had dropped skid off and basically abandoned them. Wow, do I know that story! BF has had full custody since ss was about 2. BM was several thousand in the hole on child support when I came into the picture. BM was sometimes not on speaking terms with her father, so that was a complete other environment for ss because often he would call BF and beg for visits since BM used ss as punishment when her dad didn't do what she wanted. During their "good" terms, she would usually drop ss off there on her weekends and not spend too much time at all with him, because she was out at the bars. During their "bad" terms, she would drop off ss with her sister.

BM was: alcohol abuser, drug abuser, violent, habitual liar, impulsive, reckless, etc. I can't even imagine how complex her psych eval would have been.
BTW, if you are noticing the past tense here, she died of a drug overdose one year ago- the day after a drunk driving accident conviction that resulted in a young man being trapped in his burning truck. He survived, but with serious injuries, and he was a father just driving to work early one morning.
I still can't hardly believe it, although it is a fact. We all knew she was a time bomb, but it's so surreal when you've had someone so alive, and in your face, and then they are just gone..no more chances to straighten out their lives or help their kids. Just gone. whew. It makes me sad. And I'm sure no one in her family really ever believed that they were doing her a disservice by letting her continue her madness unchecked. She should have been locked in Meadows Behavioral Center several times. Oh my Lord, the stories of her behavior are endless.

THIS is why I continue to try try try to help her son. Mental Disorders are REAL not just minor inconveniences for the targets of their lies, manipulations, vengence, etc. Either they self-destruct, or destroy others, or BOTH.