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I changed my mind.

Empty Risks's picture

After hearing all of you out and investigating how I really feel about the whole situation, I have decided not to write the SD a letter. I am afraid I can't offer any closure or comfort of any kind.

I tried several times to do it, but it always seemed like too much, not enough, dishonest, too honest, etc. There is no happy medium. Par for the course, I suppose, considering there was never a happy medium in our household.

So yeah. I've not seen her in a little over two weeks, and I want to keep it that way. I've told her dad as much; though he doesn't seem to understand it. But his understanding is not my problem anymore. He should have done more, and he should have done it faster...before it came to this.

Eventually it'll completely end he and I, but really, considering how things have gone? That is probably for the best, too.

BTW, I tried to write letters to him a few times, but BOY WERE THOSE ANGRY. I quit trying those after a day or two.

But hey....my sons and I have been far less tense and stressed. Our little apartment is quiet except for giggling and the hum normal conversations. They don't see me all wrapped up in bullshit, and I don't see them clinching their fists and walking away with red, upset faces.

Ladies, you cannot put a price on that. And even if someone could, I wouldn't take any amount of money for the peace we are experiencing. I would never trade this.

The only big fight going on now is between me and the "D"H. I asked that he not put SD in the same high school as my oldest son. I didn't this the request was too much, considering the two of them don't even live in this district. But golly has that started some shit. Maybe I'll post about that another time and get some input. Until then, be well!

(and thank SO much for all the help)

Comments

Hanny's picture

I am so glad you and your kids are finally at peace. Just remember you gave it everything you could and then some. If you question what you have done, just take a look at your boys and you will know what you did was right.

Take Care!

Catch22's picture

I am so glad the 3 of you are happy, sometimes we have do things as parents that we don't really want to do, like leaving a loved one for the sake of the children. I commend you for having the courage to leave your husband for the well being of you and your children. I think he may now realise the ways of his daughter and when he has deal with her problems on his own he may just find out that you were right all along and you did all you could for her. Be happy now, this is your time with your precious boys. Hugs.

Catch xx
*Mean People Suck*

ittakestwo's picture

that is probably best. You need to go through your whole grieving process and that is what you're doing right now. You go from hurt to sad to mad etc and so on... once you get to a place where it's not so close to you and your emotions about it are a little more indifferent. Well, maybe you'll change your mind, maybe not.

Right now I think it's important you focus on you and your boys...jmho.

(((((HUGS))))) I know it must be really hard... but it will get easier with time...

It is what it is...

klinder180's picture

I am in the same boat -- breaking up is not easy to do. You have guilt feelings of "Maybe if I had done this" or "Maybe if this had happened differently" but the really important thing is the welfare of our children and -- even though the short term might hurt -- our emotional and psychological well being.