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I'm back, and I need some quick advice

1dad6kids's picture

Submitted by 1dad6kids on Thu, 02/22/2024 - 6:00am

Hi all- formerly 1dad5kids but welcomed our baby girl earlier this year Smile

We have a situation going on and I need some advice. 

BM has gone kind of nuts. Since her and SS14's former StepDad split, she's been dating all sorts of weirdos and randoms. She filed false abuse charges on her ex bf and is going to court for that, but yesterday I discovered some shocking news.

The StepDads fiance (The GirlFriend) and I have gotten pretty friendly. My daughter and her daughter are in the same class and close friends. BM's daughter, The GirlFriends "step" daughter, (BMDD7) is in the same grade but a different class. They are all friends. 

BMDD7 went to The StepDads yesterday for his patenting time. When she got there she told The GirlFriend she didn't want to go back, and that she didn't like her Mom's new boyfriend (The BoyFriend). So The GirlFriend messaged The BoyFriend's ex and found out a lot of information:

The BoyFriend:

Was arrested for child pornography

Was arrested for counterfeiting

Was arrested for break and enter

Was seen on snapchat with BM showing off freshly cooked crack they had made together 

Can't be around children under 18

Has a restraining order from his ex and their child

Cannot go within 100 meters of anywhere children under 16 can congregate

Lost his license

Hasn't had a job in 2 years

So once The GirlFriend found this out she contacted the police to let them know that The BoyFriend has been staying at BM's. The BoyFriends ex also contacted the police. 

I kept an open chat with SS14 in case he needed to make a quick getaway but he made no mention of anything being out of sorts at his Mom's. He comes to our place Friday morning. I did NOT mention anything to him. He does not communicate with us about BM's at all, he hasn't even told us his Mom has a new boyfriend living with them. 

As far as I know, the cops did not attend BM's or arrest The BoyFriend. This could be because BM refused to open the door though. But The BoyFriend could still be in the home with SS14 and his 10 year old brother. 

BM claims to be going to work everyday. But we've recently discovered that the place she claims to be working has not employed her. She is leaving her kids at home and telling them she's going to work. I do not know if The BoyFriend is at her place during this time, or if they are leaving together. I know she's been telling SS14 that she's working while he's at school, but she's been home. She even says she has a lunch break, and uses the place of employment as her title in her private emails. 

I'm not sure what to do, DH says we can't believe everything The Girlfriend says because she hates BM even more than I do. And telling SS14 we need to take him earlier because of hearsay might harm the relationship. But of course on the flip side it might prevent some pervert from taking pics of our son while he sleeps or whatever. 

Advice please, WWYD. 

 

Gentle reminder or info for newbies to my story; I love SS14. I treat him as I do my bio kids. I don't want any harm to come to him 

 

Comments

Survivingstephell's picture

Submitted by Survivingstephell on Thu, 02/22/2024 - 6:24am

Do you have his name? Do your own research on him and see what you find.  If it all matches DH can play hardball with BM,  send police over for a well check and see what happens or contact his lawyer for advice.  
 

I'd say you need to verify for yourself if this is all true first.  If it is can the skids move in?  Can you physically (house wise) and mentally do that?  

1dad6kids's picture

Submitted by 1dad6kids on Thu, 02/22/2024 - 7:11am

I've looked him up and can't seem to find any information to verify what they are saying except a news report about the counterfeit money. But no name was associated with the story so whether or not it's him, I can't say. 

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

Submitted by NoWireCoatHanga... on Thu, 02/22/2024 - 6:31am

and say you are concerned and list the reasons why.  SUrely he has one.  They would remove him from the children and probably drug test him.  Maybe violate him and put him in jail so he's safe from the children.  Maybe put in an anonymous tip to Child Protective Services as well. 

MissK03's picture

Submitted by MissK03 on Thu, 02/22/2024 - 6:32am

In the US all that is public and you can look up anyone's court cases. Not sure about Canada. It would be a 2 minute search for me to find arrests, family court, small claims etc. 

If you have access do this and if it's true call the cops and I would file an emergency order to have SS stay with you guys. Not a chance in a hell I would allow kids to be under the same roof with someone like that... assuming it's true. 

1dad6kids's picture

Submitted by 1dad6kids on Thu, 02/22/2024 - 7:13am

We have some public access. Well truly it's all public but without going to the court house the information is limited to trial cases and appeals. Which a search showed none of that when I checked. 

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Thu, 02/22/2024 - 7:15am

You need to look into this FAST because if it's true and it's discovered that you knew and still let the skids go over there... You could be considered as aiding and abetting. 

Good luck!

1dad6kids's picture

Submitted by 1dad6kids on Thu, 02/22/2024 - 7:19am

I don't know anything, SS14 is currently over there. Supposedly the cops were supposed to go there last night but unsure if that occured 

Thumper's picture

Submitted by Thumper on Thu, 02/22/2024 - 9:22am

Well, certainly there is someone in his practice that you can call to give this information to. There is no way his entire practice shut down because he is a new father. That would mean everyone is out of work. He must have a secretary or paralegal. 

DH needs to call the attorneys office and provide them with what he knows. At the very least there is an answering service dh can leave a message with .

 

 

 

1dad6kids's picture

Submitted by 1dad6kids on Thu, 02/22/2024 - 4:14pm

He has a secretary, and another lawyer but they only deal with real estate

advice.only2's picture

Submitted by advice.only2 on Thu, 02/22/2024 - 9:26am

If you are hearing these things, believe it!  When we first started hearing gossip that Meth Mouth was using speed and things were weird with her, DH and I brushed it off.  Mostly because he only had Spawn EOW and because Spawn never said ANYTHING!  Not a peep, nothing about life at school or at her moms, nothing!  When they are not talking that is when you know it’s bad, because they are being taught to keep their mouth shut.  For me what really tipped it was when Spawn’s teacher called our house.  She was frustrated and going off on me about Spawn’s lack of attendance and how she was going to fail her grade.  The teacher was fed up because she could not get a hold of Meth Mouth, or my DH and she was worried about Spawn.  I called my DH and read him the riot act since at that time he was a traveling salesperson and had his cell phone glued to his hand.   He contacted the teacher and found out Spawn was usually only at school one to two days a week.  A whole mess of other stuff happened in between that and getting custody, but that was the start of things for us.  So be aware, check court records for this guy, do your research.  Nobody else will do it for you and if your DH must go to court to get custody he needs to be prepared, hire a private detective if you can.  We could not afford one, but we had to find all the court documents of Meth Mouths arrests, and yes, she had a big one in another state we knew nothing about until her second ex husband clued us in.

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Thu, 02/22/2024 - 9:47am

Let them check on .....Can't be around children under 18....Has a restraining order from his ex and their child.....Cannot go within 100 meters of anywhere children under 16 can congregate.  If this is true or not. If true then to court to get your kids away from this guy.

Bee_kay's picture

Submitted by Bee_kay on Fri, 02/23/2024 - 1:40am

I'm not sure where you live, but have you checked for a sex offender registry? Was he convicted state or federally? That makes a difference looking up convictions. Also you can check the state/federal prison sites to see if he was a prior inmate. It should tell you when and why.