On of the skids just told me they have school tomorrow- a make-up day from the snow we had last week! Ha-Ha, they have to go to school, and my district has the day off. BS8 and I both get to sleep in- maybe we'll see a movie and enjoy a day, just us!

That's great news, cause I was really dreading being here with them tomorrow!

Maybe not enough isn't the right wording...I see DH trying and we're going to counseling and I'm trying to keep an open mind when DH says that SD7 is trying even though I can tell she's just doing what she thinks she should. Deep down I'm not sure that I will ever get back to who I used to be, that DH and I won't be back to where we used to be. What do you do when things are much better than they used to be and yet you're still not happy?

And my God its the hardest thing I've ever had to endure in my whole life. My oldest bio, Tator Tot is my life. She's the best kid u could ever ask for. 16 with an attitude of course but straight A's and the biggest heart ever. She would go to the ends of the earth for me and I her. My youngest bio, Bri-Man is a lil monster. He's the youngest and is every bit a lil boy. Frogs in pocket and all. He's 7 so he still has a lot to learn and he's well on his way. Both my bios are VERY smart. At the tops of both their classes and I am oh so proud.

I hate being a stepmom! My SD doesn't listen at all sometimes I think this kid has ADD & if she did that wouldn't be a problem but at least I would be able to give her some meds & learn how to deal with a child who has ADD. She is only 6 but gets on my very last nerve sometimes. I call her a pest when I refer to her when speaking to a friend. My husband and I were only married for 4mos when she came to live with us so there was no honeymoon stage and this really uspsets me that we do get any us time. I hate having to share him or anything with her.

Does anyone know about a site like this but for divorced women ( to vent ) ?

We allow SD10 to use the internet here and there at home. She always has to ask and is normally not on for very long--maybe 30 mins at a time.

We have set up passwords so she can't just go on whenever she feels like it. But the computer is upstairs next to BS3s room. That is the only space for it, no room in the living room area.

I was wondering how much time your kids get on the internet, if at all. After reading Alwaysventings last post it makes me wonder if I should sit with SD while she goes online.

Yesterday we had a birthday party for him.
This is my step son from a previous marriage. He lives with us 100% of the time.
He sees his Bio Dad about one weekend a month and the other weekends he visits his mom.

This marked a milestone in my life.
17 years ago I did not know if he would except me as a step dad.
He never called me Jon in all those years. Always dad. When my ex wife and I split up, he lived with her for a little while and eventually asked to come live with me again.

Last night we went to a party for FH's niece. The party started at 6:30 and ended at 9:30.

6:30 - we get there and they start serving pizza. SD10 is sulking and refuses to eat, saying she is not hungry. Okay, fine but you are not going to eat when we get home at 10:00 so you should eat here and you haven't eaten since lunchtime. SD10 still says she is not hungry.

7:00 - party is happening - kids are dancing and mingling, there's a strobe light and a disco ball, and everyone is having tons of fun - except SD10 who sits by us and refusing to even socialize.

Welcome one and all to my blog - a purely cathartic piece of documentary journalism regarding the behaviour of my 'stepson', of which I shall now call 'z'. Things haven't been going so well since he hit adolescence, he was always a bit of a handful for my partner, 'x'. But the influx of hormones , peers and the media have amplified this - and he has become a real little to monster..so...and this is purely self-help, I will keep this up for the entire year - maybe i'll be able to find some 'patterns'. Maybe its bad nutrition.

To have "connection" w. SS why does FH have to disconnect from me?
I have realized that the stress I feel, the isolation, anxiety, and lonliness that are at times so overwhelming- this is b.c FH can't assert his connection to me or be a "we" with me when his son is with us. I wish he understood this. That I can't have that w. him only when SS isn't w. us. I need it with him and from him all the time. And when he takes it away b.c he thinks he can't be connected to us both I feel so sad, so alone, panicked, and then angry.