buterfly_2011's picture

Our Court Ordered Parenting Plan says kids can call father 3x a week but BM is not following WHAT is the next step

BM texted and told us that as of yesterday SO can't talk to his kids until we purchase them a cell phone AND when we do she will be on the other line listening. Skids are 11, 15 and 17.

Our papers state that PARENT A can NOT monitor phone conversations and that children can call 3x a week and SO can call them.

We have tried to Facebook the kids and tried contacting them on one of their phones. The only child she is letting talk to him is SD17. SS's are not allowed. My SO is just beside himself. We have contacted our lawyer and there are papers headed her way regarding other things BUT she is filling the skids heads with lies and my SO is just at the end of his rope.

Any suggestions?

sundowner's picture

..First, .You prolly should

..First, .You prolly should post this under the court category. I have dealt with this exact same issue. There is a lot you can do. Just know that you need to collect evidence such as BM text to show that she is obstructing access to the SO kids, etc. Record/save ALL correspondences between the adults concerning the children and demand that BM contact SO only,do not allow them to go thru the children.

Ask your lawyer AND do your own research on the laws in your State/County permitting you to audio record phone conversations between certain parties. It can be tricky. In my state, I am permitted to record IF I am one of the parties involved. The other party doesn't have to be made aware.In our case, we recorded BM AND HER NEW SPOUSE, both, refusing to put the kids on the phone, hanging up, and making threats.

Some judges might rule that when BM is obstructing access of kids to your SO, its as a form of emotional/mental child abuse.Dont know for sure.

What you need to do is have SO write letters to each child. Provide them with self address return envelopes. Send the letters to their school. Let principal know you would like to send them to school because the kids might not get them at home. Dont bash the BM in front of the principal. It will only serve to make you look bad.
Save copies of all correspondence!

Epic Fail!! I plunged straight into the twilight zone of steplife. Skids/DH/Ex created a Bermuda Triangle. I went missing. (me)

Rags's picture

File a contempt of court

File a contempt of court motion immediatly and put BM in jail. That is the only fix for a toxic dipshit in the blended family oppostion. Do not allow BM to get away with any deviation of the CO no matter how small.

BM's stipulation that DH buy a cell phone for the Skids and that she is going to monitor each call is nothing more than amaturish attempts at control and possibly to motiviate him to not call his kids at all. If he does not call then she will tell the kids he does not care. If he does call she will tell the kids he is intruding on her time with the kids.

This is why you put her toxic ass in front of a judge to answer for her bullshit and why you put her in jail each and every time she deviates or violates the CO.

Have fun doing it too. That is one thing I learned during my own 17+ year life living under a Custody/Visitation/Support CO. Having fun barring the asses of the blended family oppostion was a key to keeping them under control and minimizing their intererence with my family and my kid.

My wife and I met when my SS-20 was 15mos old, married before he turned two and had a CO in force until he turned 18. That whole time we had to use the CO to keep the SpermIdiot and particularly SpermGrandMa under control. They tried time after time to manipulate the Skid and us. Refusing to return the kid from visitation on time, refusing to let us speak with him when he was on visiation, taking money from him that we provided as travel/emergency money saying that it was money they had paid in CS and they should be able to use it as they wanted, keeping his nice/quality clothing items and returning him in Walmart or wornout crap they got from God knows where.

For the first several years my wife did not want to smack their bare asses in court because she did not want them taking it out on the kid. So, she placated and as she used to say "tried to be nice". Finally I had to step in. I asked one question "Is your being nice stopping them from loadind the kid up with toxic bullshit?". Her eyes lit up when I asked that and of course her answer was "No. They still try to manipulate him and are mean to him." From that moment on she she was completely on board with holding the SpermClan entirely accountable for complying with the CO. Eventually she even took the lead in smacking them with the CO and supplemental rules for the jurisdiction where our CO was issued.

So, do not give an inch. Train BM like you would a dog and smack her on the nose with the rolled up CO as soon as she even starts sniffing around like she is thinking about violating it.

The kids do not need their BM causing them crap with their father and he should use every tool available to protect his kids. Even when he is protecting them from their own mother.

As Sundowner indicated, document everything. If legal in your state (It is in Texas) record every call with BM and with the Skids. If she is making comments in the background during conversations with the kids you want to show that to the court. Keep a log of every conversation with the kids with particular note on things they say about BM. Keep a copy of every text, every e-mail, and log every face to face convo with BM. Log every story that people in the community tell about BM particularly teachers and other community authority figures. When you are taking BM for a contempt beating in court compile the story you want to tell to the judge from the volumes of information you record.

In our case the SpermClan hated having their crap put before them in court. Nothing bares the ass of a dipshit in the opposition more than their own words and actions.

Have fun.

All IMHO of course.

Good luck.

A parent is an example, mentor, confidante, advocate and disciplinarian, not a buddy.-Rags
If you can't listen and learn then you will have to feel.-WLR
If you want to be a part of my life then use your head or STFU and do what you are told.-Rags