Smomof3's picture

Prime example of why BM is an idiot

3 weeks ago SS13 left his retainer at his BMs, so I rescheduled his ortho appointment. Today I asked if he'd been wearing it, since he should have brought it home last weekend...

I call BM and ask her to look for it and explain that without the retainer, as he doesn't have all of his molars, that his teeth will move and the $3000 spend on braces will be worthless.....Oh yeah, guess I didn't mention that BM didn't pay a dime for the braces even though she agreed to pay a portion and he lived with us and she was still receiving full CS but only had my SD at her home.

his response "I don't know where it is?".
me "I thought it was at your moms?"
him "It was but now it's not, but it's not a big deal".
me "this is why the ortho Dr said not to take it away from home"
him "Mom wanted me to have it there so she could make sure I wore it"
me "do you realize that your teeth might be ruined and all of our money for braces wasted"
him "it'll be ok, I didn't mine wearing them again"
me "you don't understand, our financial situation has changed you won't be getting them. You need to find it next time your at your Moms"
him "crying.....Mom said not to tell you but Joey (BM's "wife" grandson that they have custody of because both of the wifes sons are pieces of crap) broke it so Mom threw it away. She said to just tell you I couln't find it or you'd be mad"
me to DH "Deal with this shit, I've just wasted $3000 on his teeth and she doesn't even have the decency to tell us his retainer was broken and has him lie to us about it."
DH "You can't control what happens at her house just let it go. It will just cause an issue if I call her about it.

Just so your completely aware of the whole situation...DH admittedly can't manage money to save his life and BM is constantly broke. That money for braces came out of my private savings.

Smomof3's picture

Sorry it's kinda of out of

Sorry it's kinda of out of order...I'm kinda pissy but you get the idea.

overitall's picture

DH should skip asking ex

DH should skip asking ex about this, but ask ss13 why he followed through with the lie. At 13, he should be able to determine that was wrong and at the least, talk to his dad about it. I understand it is hard to go against his mother, but he lying to his father (by lying to you) needs to be adressed. Let his father tell him in the future, to tell him, and they can work through it together

Great Mom but horrified Stepmom's picture

You did a great thing for

You did a great thing for your SS. You are obviously a nice person. It isn't your SS's fault (my DS lost his retainer at that age too - it happens). The issue is that you are dealing with morons on the bio parent side. Two broke or financially inept parents who can't tell you the truth, encourage the kid to lie and then don't deal with the issue don't deserve to have YOU pay for THEIR KIDS'S dental health.

Again, nice of you to have done it but...they either look after their own kids dental health or they don't.

You know which side they picked.

It's not your monkey. It's theirs. YOU are the only one who is upset about this because you are the only one who has any common sense regarding this issue. Stop putting money and time into something that isn't yours to control or benefit from.

Sorry. I don't mean to be so blunt or to hurt your feelings but I just saw red when I read your posting. YOUR savings! Please! Don't use your money for this type of thing again. Use it for you!

Smomof3's picture

I know, your right. I'm

I know, your right. I'm livid about so many things concerning BM and SD. SD is at her BMs on a trial basis and before she moved her stuff back she had a hand full of jewelry to throw in the trash...stuff I bought her - earring/necklace sets, bracelets, etc. I took them and gave them to someone more appreciateive. They weren't anything expensive, just sets from Avon or local stores, but still. Also, BM had SD on free lunches at school but still puts 16 dollars every 2 weeks in her account so she can buy pop and junk...5 more bucks would pay for 2 weeks worth of lunch. It's just petty shit that's built up.

My DH refuses to communicate unless absolutely necessary and has taken the stance of what happens at her house is out of my control, mostly because its the easy way out and he can't handle the stress.

My SS is a good kid, just caught in the middle.

Smomof3's picture

I'll tell him as soon as I

I'll tell him as soon as I can tolerate talking to him again...LOL

just tired's picture

I'm so sorry you've been used

I'm so sorry you've been used in such a nasty way.

And as for BM, nice....encouraging one's child to lie....just lovely.

I'd disengage from all the b.s. as quickly as possible, and shut off the funds to SS and DH.

ybarra357's picture

Agreed. There would be no

Agreed. There would be no way in HELL I would ever bankroll anything for my SK's.

That's no moon, it's a space station!

hippiegirl's picture

I never spend my money on

I never spend my money on skid. Ever. BM needs to be held accountable for this. $3000.00 down the toilet! I would be LIVID!!!