Well, yesterdays meeting went well, but not as expected. We all voiced our opinions, feelings and thoughts regarding SD7. It sounds as though SD's SF is giving an ulimatium: either SD leaves and gets help, or he leaves all together. BM was in tears the whole time and kept saying she didn't understand why her daughter was so messed up. DH was quiet until it came to his turn to voice himself. I was flabbergasted. DH said that he is to the point that he hates her. Cannot stand her. The reason he 'spoils' her is to keep her happy so she doesn't hurt anyone. He is afraid that she will hurt me. We talked about SD and her behavior for a good 2 hours straight. BM and DH cried and cried. SF and I couldn't, we have gotten to the point that we don't care enough about her to cry, we are just worried for our and our dependants lives. I know it is cruel to say, but I couldn't be farther from caring.

The therapist recommended doing some serious in-home rehab before jumping straight for the asylum bandwagon. So here is the plan:

-Remove all her toys, movies, games, etc.
-In her bedroom, she is only to have a bed, 1 lamp and a dresser.
-Her bed will consist of 1 solid color basic comforter and solid color sheets. Acceptable colors are black, white or brown.
-Her clothes will be 6 standard tshirts, 1 standard button up dress shirt. 3 pairs of basic jeans, 2 pairs of basic shorts, 1 pair of dress slacks. 7 pairs of socks, 7 pairs of underwear.
-Clothes cannot have any prints, design or colors other than black, white, navy blue or brown. No name brands.
-No television unless it is an educational program through the public television network.
-No friends over and no going over to friends.
-Chores will be complete in a timely fashion.
-Bedtime is 8PM to 6AM. No excuses.
-If necessary all doors will be locked except rooms she will need access to.
-She must bath without help. Brush her teeth without help.
-SD will brush her own hair and only either a ponytail, simple braid or hair down is acceptable.

These are just a few of the rules we will be going by. It is basically like sending her to military school and allowing her to only have the basic things she NEEDS. The therapist is going to come by two days a week to observe for the first 4 weeks. If there is no change in behavior, he will schedule a formal testing for mental illnesses and we will go from there.

Dr. said that this will be a deciding factor on whether she is a severely spoiled and under-disciplined child or if she has an actual mental disorder. I like the idea a lot and hopefully a change will spring, unfortunately I think she is a solid sociopath as Dr had previously mentioned. He just wants to rule out all possiblities of actual behavior issues that could cause her actions.

So here goes nothing. We start immediately on Sunday with her first visitation after the meeting. I already cleared everything out and have it stowed away where no one can get to it.