ItAlmostWorked's picture

On being evil~

If I knew I was to be portrayed as the evil stepmother no matter how hard I tried to be nice, I would have started out being very concrete in my expectations and very vocal when SD tried dissing me and the way I run my life. I would have squashed her BS right from the start or I would not have gone down this road.

She is the princess, my DH feels I am at fault, although he gives lip service to her "misperceptions" of me. And for now I am stuck here-majorly sucks.

To all potential future steps-embrace the evilness from the start or DO NOT BECOME A STEP, you will regret it with every fiber of your being.

AllDoneStepping's picture

AMEN to the like button! I

AMEN to the like button! I wish I could have a do-over - but there aren't any. DH (soon to be EX dh) never stood up for me or insisted that his nasty kids give me any respect - and I didn't either and I should have.

How SAD is it - that here I am getting a divorce and I am MORE HAPPY about the fact that I will no longer be a step mother than I am sad about the loss of the marriage? OMG...I'm not going to be a step mother anymore!!!! Forget the "divorce party" - I think I'll have a "not a sm anymore party".

imjustthemaid's picture

I tell everyone to run like

I tell everyone to run like hell!!! Don't get involved with someone with kids!!!

I am also an evil stepmother. I did so much in the beginning and still earned the title. Now I do nothing. Hell if you are gonna portray me that way then I might as well live up to it. And I don't give a shit what anyone thinks anymore, even DH. Sick of being a doormat to everyone.

teristepmom's picture

I can't tell you how many

I can't tell you how many friends I have literally sat down with a glass of wine and told them the blunt truth about how what it is like to be a step-parent and what it will be like living with a guilty daddy even when the skids are not in residence. NOT ONE has listened but they ALL say they now wish they had. I can't blame them though. I did not have anyone warn me but if I had I am 100% certain that I would have dismissed them as bitter and angry and convinced myself that *I* would have a totally different experience because OUR LOVE IS DESTINY and therefore immune to any and all petty problems!

Kind of makes me want to go back in time and kick the living shit out of myself.... anybody got a time machine handy? Sticking out tongue

imjustthemaid's picture

Oh if I had a time machine I

Oh if I had a time machine I would go back in time and everytime SD made a remark like "My daddy still loves my mommy" I would put exlax in her dinner!!! I was too nice to that evil kid and now she thinks she can walk all over me!! Evil twit!!

AllDoneStepping's picture

I give you credit for trying

I give you credit for trying to warn your friends. My poor mother tried to warn me. "Honey, are you SURE you want to marry a man with two teenage sons who has been married THREE times before?" Oh yeah...I was young and in love...

and within one year my life became a total living hell.

AllDoneStepping's picture

united front? there's a

united front? there's a concept you could hit my dh upside the head with and he still wouldn't recognize it.

UTOBMOM's picture

Yep, exactly! Things were

Yep, exactly! Things were great from our wedding in November until New Years Eve . . . then it was like a light switch got flipped!

UTOBMOM

Boudicca's picture

I don't know about the "like"

I don't know about the "like" button. I wish there was a "back" button - we would wear our fingers down pressing it!!

kamy325's picture

My own stepmom and I have a

My own stepmom and I have a wonderful relationship and we laugh all the time about how we are members of the evil stepmother's club. What stepkids need to realize is that they have some responsibility for the relationship too. So I can be a best friend or a worst enemy...but currently ...my ss has gotten me to the place where I just don't give a damn anymore. I tried but he chose to act ungrateful rude and obnoxious. he constantly wants to know what my husband and I are doing and is inappropriate in his curiosity. Frankly it's creepy and unwelcome. So I just ignore it and try to live my own life. I LIKE this much better than worrying about it. Oh and most men are not savvy and have divorce guilt so you can't count on their dumb asses. Ladies...save yourselves! If the skid doesn't respect you then he/she does not deserve your time or attention!

Poodle's picture

That last point about therapy

That last point about therapy is spot on.

It's nothing personal.

ItAlmostWorked's picture

OMG, Saffron , as I was

OMG, Saffron , as I was reading your post and you mentioned 3 years had passed, I found myself expecting you to say SD13, as in she was around 10 yrs. old when she was screaming at you from the backseat. I think I just guessed her developmental age!!

forgotten wife's picture

here's what i hold on to: my

here's what i hold on to: my sd22 will probably marry a man with children!! blahahahahahahha!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CazzM's picture

I only found this forum today

I only found this forum today and it feels like I've found home! Looking forward to reading the forums and advice.
Forgotten Wife, your comment is so my dream - I Hope one day my SD marries a man with teenage girls!

Poodle's picture

I second that.

I second that.

It's nothing personal.