We might get my ss7 fulltime
My husbands ex told him today that her grandmother can no longer watch ss7 so she is going to have him go stay with one of her friends overnight on school nights and get on the bus from there. So pretty much he will living with this other women we don't know half the week. My husband thinks this with all the other stuff like how stable our home is and the fact that we own a home and that I stay home full time. Coupled with the fact that he works a set schedule with weekends off 40hr weeks and she works 50-60 hr weeks that change all the time because she is an up and comeing rn at her hospital. He wants to get custody and if we go to court I know we will win. I'm terrified, I don't know what to do, I know its best for the child and it will make my husband happy but he changes my home and he is a bad example for our daughter. I know there is nothing really anyone can say to this but I needed to get it out, I am so scared right now, I was crying in my bathroom after my husband told me, I hid it from him and the kids but I'm dying inside right now. I honestly never thought this would happen I couldn't belive it would come to this I couldn't understand that a women would put her personal time with her boyfriend and her career in front of her child, I didn't think that happened I never thought we would actually get full custody......but now I relize we will......He's going to come for the summer and I bet it will become full time after that. I don't think she will even fight it.
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I am so sorry!!! This is my
I am so sorry!!! This is my biggest fear. I don't know what else to say but I am very sorry about it. I hope things work out for you. Good luck and keep us posted!!
Thank you, this was my
Thank you, this was my biggest fear to. I will keep you all posted this site is the only thing thing keeping me sane some days.
Please do! You know, I have
Please do! You know, I have always been fearful of this, right now we only have SS on weekends and we are supposed to have him 50% of the time during the summer. I was thinking about asking 50/50 visitation all year round, hoping that this would allow me to get closer to SS and that this way if we ever had to get full custody I would be more prepared. I feel like I am always expecting the worst and trying to find a way to prepare myself, always bracing myself for what seems to be inevitable. It sucks. How is your relationship w SS right now?
We have him full time for the
We have him full time for the summer he only goes to his mothers for 1 week. Our relationship isn't good right now, he doesn't listen to me and is an uncontrolled child with ADD. He also acts like a baby, he is almost 8 and he acts more immature then my autistic 5 yr old nephew, he cries over nothing, My 1yr old cries less then him when she is upset. I know his grandmother gives into him when he is like that and I expect his mother is to.
I really do feel for you! My
I really do feel for you! My sd5 lives with us and I'm the one home with her all day. I also know it's best for her. Her mother abuses alcohol and has two other children (all of whom were conceived during one night stands). She can't hold a job and has no car. I'm not even sure she has a place to live. It's hard to be the bigger person in these situations and it's a huge life adjustment. Disengaging becomes a word only for the lucky SM's. I want to say that it's an easy adjustment, but the truth is that it's really hard and there will be times where you think "Enough!" and can't act on it. I'll keep you in my thoughts, keep us posted on how things work out!
Thank you for keeping me in
Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts and sharing your experiance with me. I was hoping to atleast partialy disengage when I found this out. But I know there is no hope of that now.
I think you should tell him
I think you should tell him how u feel and that his cannot work!! It's just going to cause so much trouble and hurt for u. If everyone is miserable then how can a family function??... Not well at all. I know this. But we don't have a choice. You do.. Well possibly. I hope the best for you! Sad to say but, Hope it doesn't come to him living with you!
If he was staying with family
If he was staying with family I might have a choice but since he is going to be staying with some random women whos a mother of a kid at school I'm sure that won't sit right with my husband. I also know that it isn;t good for my ss7 either. Thanks for your consideration.
I'm sorry briarmommy. I know
I'm sorry briarmommy. I know how this feels. I wouldn't want it either. Now the anticipation of all that could go wrong. Try to do something for yourself. You have a friend you could go have girlfriend time with?
Thanks alwaysanxious, I am
Thanks alwaysanxious, I am going to try and go out sometime later in the week. Unfortionatly all my friends work wierd days so the only day we could go out is wed. But I think I am going to try to plan something for that day.
He knows how I feel to an
He knows how I feel to an extent, but at the same time I know I shouldn't be selfish either and the best place for this child is here. Thats the part I hate, that its not just my husband forcing me but my concience as well.
In the county and state I live in, in the U.S. we would get custody if we went. Thank you for commenting and offering support.
I think you DO have a say in
I think you DO have a say in this. Ss will be spending more time with you so you need to have a discussion with dh about this. Voice your concerns and ask him what expectations he has of YOU if ss were to move in fulltime. Discuss what you are able to help with and what you can't/won't do. Sure, if this was your own kid, you'd have to take over all tasks. But ss isn't your kid. He is dh's. If dh wants this he will have to help...maybe even more than he does now. I'm a sahm to my 3 bios- 1,4,6. It is hard. And they are mine! If I had to do all I do for a skid...no way. I'd go crazy! Figure out how it could work, but don't take the majority of the responsibility. Then talk to dh. He of course is ok withthis arrangement because in his mind, all the responsibility is on you. His routine/life doesn't change. Make him realize his life, routine, schedule, etc will change too. Sorry about this. This is my worst nightmare!