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I need some advice from you Ladies....

Georgia Mom 72's picture

Okay, what would you do if your 9 and 10 year old SS came to their father and told them that their 17 year old half sister called their dad a Bastard and when they took up for him, the SS got in trouble from their Mom?

Sebbie's picture

NCP should have rights too! oops , not sure how I managed to get myself here twice,lol sorrrry

Sebbie's picture

NCP should have rights too! Explain to them that there was nothing wrong with showing their love for their father by defending him, as he loves them very much too. However, for teenagers ( 17 year old half sister) everything in their lives is a drama, trying to fit in, not really having a clue where they are going in their lives,as well as the normal teenage angst and anger,jealousy,insecurities and because of this, their halfsister may say things about their dad(as well as their mother or their friends ect.) that they do not like.Unfortuatly, because defending dad only brings more of a fight in the home for them, the best thing is to just ignore her and her comments and just keep on loving dad as dad loves them. As for getting in trouble with bm, DH should make a point to let ss know that in the future the best thing is for them to not say a thing,( defending him to half-sister is not necessary for him to know that they love him,) and though she may hurt them by the things she says, they are only words, and they can always come to dad to talk it out....

didddos's picture

Try to remember that 9 and 10 year olds don't always tell the whole story. Not that they're not telling the truth, but be careful. I just want to caution you that there may have been more going on than the skids are telling you. We made a mistake about this once, and it blew up all over us.

How did the SS get in trouble? What was the punishment? I would definitely address it, but would question it with BM rather than accuse, just in case there were other reasons for the punishment.

I would also reiterate to SS that it was nice of him to stand up for his dad and that calling names is wrong and that he is loved. It will go a LONG way!

Georgia Mom 72's picture

Oh believe me, I agree now that my husband confronted the BM about it and now the kids deny even saying it. He asked her to please stop all of this around the kids.

On top of that. My husband has been served with a TPO on Ex, and both kids. She also has filed for spousal support. THey have been divorced for 6 years!! She went through a battered womens shelter
and said that she feared for her life and her kids life.

My husband is his youngest son's baseball coach. Is involved in everything in their life. She doesn't have a job. Her child support runs out on her other daughter this month because she is 18 and graduates. Her other daughter has never even lived with her. BM mother raised her.

It's a mess and my nerves are shot! It is never ending with her.

It's not the size of the dog, it's the size of the bark in the dog.