newtoshare's picture

HELP! how do you deal with this????

the BM is wasteful... she is a spendthrift... cant keep a job (we think she may be fired for bad reasons but since she lies to the kids about EVERYTHING she never admits to ever being fired - it's always someone else's fault)... she signs the kids up for everything yet never pays... then DH gets slapped with a bill - far above and beyond regular daycare expenses or child support. he gives her support for 1 of the 2 but the 1 he is paying for doesnt even want to be with her! he complains to us secretly but is scared to go against her so he just stays.

so in a nutshell - she will sign them up with hundred of dollars of things... soccer camps, horse camps, after school extras including dance or gymnastics... wheather the kids want it or not. she pays the minimum fees to sign up but then puts BDs address on teh billing. then WE become the bad guys when we discuss with the kids why they cant do it all!
these extras are a privledge not a right but she is a shopaholic and loves the attention she gets signing up her kids for everything looking lik a supermom. and then she badmouths us. that is the other bad things going on. she goes to other parents, school administration (mind you she isnt working so she HAS time whereas we work 40-50 hr weeks like normal people!) and who knows what she is telling them but they do not call us first even on the weeks he has the kids. the school will always call her and not return our calls. the soccer coach called to check on some information and now wont return calls because she said she was the only one to be talked to. his daughter's friend's parents wont let their kids spend the night because of something unknown. our house is clean - she is a hoarder... yet they talk to her and she spins things all the time.

i just want to give up. the daughter is turning into her daily. lying to get her way, attitude problems, rude, stares us down (looks just like her mom) and yet i have a teen who is great - well behaved and i want to spend my enrgy on her - not his kids that dont care about what is right and wrong. it makes me sad because if she wasnt in the picture they would be awesome kids. she is training them to be bad in life. she steals (stole from my DH while they were married), she cheats (cheated on him and then cheated on that guy with her new guy) and she steals - we assume because she has a ton of "things" being a hoarder (you seriously cant walk in her house)- she doesnt pay her bills and cant hold down jobs... yet the lawyers say because she is the mom we are out of luck. she mooches off her parents and friends for money and kid pick ups when she is supposed to call us first about the kids... she tells them she is alone and a single parent and just woe is her all the time. i want to spend my energy loving my husband and my child. if he and i have another child i want to focus on him or her. his and her kids are draining my spirit and its only been 2 years of this. i love him more than anything. but she is evil and coniving and i dont understand why people even listen to her. we only have a handful of friends who know her for who she is and low and behold she bad mouths them too. tell others lies about them to wreck their reps at the school. isnt that a law against that too!??!?! who is supposed to protect inocent people from evil people who lie and gossip?????