I was a stepmother for 5 years before we had a child together and I never once recieved showing of appreciation from my husband or his son. And I never really thought about it during the time. However once I became pregnant with our son, my hubby has showered me with gifts and attention on that day since. Its funny how all the things we do for the stepchildren go unnoticed sometimes......

Hi everybody! It's been awhile since I've been on and there are so many new people! I guess I didn't log in for awhile because things had calmed down around our house, but the princess (SD) and her brothers are at it again so I'm looking for some solace from my friends here.

About Mother's Day - it's the shi**iest day of the year for me. I'm thousands of miles away from my own mom and a mother to 3 unborn babies who didn't make it much into the 2nd trimester. I'm also SM to 5, yet not a soul, not even my DH wishes me a Happy Mother's Day. I think part of it is because they don't want to make me cry which I probably would, but it would still be nice to be remembered as a mother.

Blueberry's Baby

We share a MySpace and I found a "Happy Mother's Day" pic with three candles burning that I posted on our profile the night before - it took him 3 or 4 guesses, but he finally got that I put that pic up for my three babies. He said, "I didn't want to upset you, but I thought about it all day. Happy Mother's Day, baby."

Blueberry's Baby

... happens to be the pastor whose church I attended yesterday: He had all people present take a carnation, not if they happened to BE mothers, but if they HAD a mother: Red for living moms, white for those whose moms had passed away. He also went out of his way to note that many people might have more than one mom and specifically mentioned step-moms, encouraging people to take two (or more) carnations if they had more than one mother in their lives.

Kind of a nice way of reminding folks that "mother" refers to more than just the woman who gave birth to you

One that pisses me off every bloody mother's day!

I am lucky if I even get a thank you for anything I do for his kids. I don't even get a happy birthday from them. Do they even care when it is? No! I bet they know when BM's BF's birthday is. Grrr.

No Xmas present for me either

Just makes me think F**k them frankly. . . . ! They don't deserve me. It is an extension of the fact their mother hates the ground I walk on and doesn't want them to like me. Sad bitch! Plus the fact they are lazy and selfish too! Their own father generally gets a raw deal, so what hope do I have?.

Mind you, one year when she had chosen him a top from 'the kids' I refused to let him wear it coz she had chosen it. Childish but I just hate her and anything she touches! Yuck!

This year DH got me a mother's day present from the cat - who personally, I prefer anyway

My DH is sick of trying to cover up for his lame kids. I think it's easier for him to buy something from the cat coz she knows how to behave and is more a part of the family. Sad but true. Oh,and she actually loves me!

Turning into the sad cat lady!!!!!

I even sent an email to my EVIL step mother... but hey, being a MOM is not an easy job. We wear many different hats and just because we didn't push those kids out doesn't mean we don't fill a motherly role in their lives even if it is every other weekend. My DH good about it this year... I got giftrs and he wrote a poem for me like this:

You are truly #1 in this family
You are the one we look up to
You are the mothership
YOu are the foundation
you are the mom who goes the extra mile
you are the one who GETS to live with us
You are an inspiration for every other mom
you just ROCK
We love you so very much

My kids and SS are too young to do on their own... so he's no poet, but it made me laugh... I am the mother ship...and even DH's mom and Step Dad recognized me with a VERY nice Card thanking me for loving their grandkids so much (only 1 being there actual grandchild, the other two are mine, they are so wonderful) and a necklace and earrings

I was raised to tell EVERY mother I see on Mothers Day "Happy Mothers Day" and Dads on Fathers day. I call my sisters and my aunts... everyone. It is nearly the only day we get some sort of recognition even for the BIO MOM's even when they are still married to the BIO Dads... men suck at that stuff. They are all fired!

Daddys Gurl-

Life is as sweet as you sweeten it.

maybe the BM should help stepkid get a mothers day gift for stepmom! My BM would rather gargle with acid then get me a gift LOL. In the last 6 yrs that I have been with DH I have never received a mothers day gift or even a card from SS or DH. Its ok for me to babysit,clean,cook,drive and help with homework/sports for SS but when mother's day roles around nothing. I have dropped hints to DH in the past but DH is so afraid of hurting BM's feelings or pissing her off he never did anything(so earatating!). So this year I told him I was buying my oun gift and I was making reservations myself to go out to dinner and I did.

I am a "childless" StepDad and I get the the full meal deal from my Son (SS) and Wife on Father's Day. And I give my wife the SuperSized Blue Plate Special on Mother's Day.

Each year I give my Wife a card on Mother's Day thanking her for making me a Dad, flowers, bling, breakfast, lunch, dinner and a midnight snack. (Ok, maybe not all of this but you get the idea)

Heck, I even send my Mom & Dad a thank you card on my Birthday. After All they are the ones that suffered through raising Rags.

Best regards,

Adult former daughter of a childless step mom and bio dad. My dad left my severely drug addicted mother when I was 11 for a younger, childless woman. I was an only child. My mother moved me to skid row and my dad moved far away, only visited me sporadically and I was never allowed to see my father or speak to him alone, not even on the phone. My mother was not able to raise me with proper guidance, and my father was so in love with his pretty new wife. By the time I was 13, I had lost my virginity to a stranger and was offered heroin, the only reason I turned it down was my older half sister was an addict in prison. I felt so rejected by my dad and his wife, she hated me and when I did visit them in their home once for a summer weekend every year, she screamed about every wrong thing I did and had sex with my dad in the livingroom as soon as I closed the door. She even seethed with angry venomous phone calls to me complaining that I did not remember her birthday. I literally had sex in cars in the alleyway of my apartment building with men as a teenager, and when I became pregnant, she and my dad said nothing about the obvious. It hurts so much to see these nasty vents about innocent children caught in the chaos of their parent's mistaken feelings, this woman continued to hound me as an adult after my dad died, wanting to constantly talk about how great he was, etc. I did not know him after he married her, he was a stranger who always made me feel ashamed even before the divorce. These children caught up are innocent, I personally would not do that to a child, the rare visits consisted of she and my dad singing love songs to each other and I was supposed to be happy for them. When I was 17, I called him to beg him to take me in since my mother was always putting herself in a drugged stupor, his wife said no, she didn't even have a job! He supported her only. I will always be emotionally troubled, my mother was a drug addict before I was born, I cannot believe as a parent to a 14 yr. old son that he was willing to leave me far behind just to follow his selfish heart. Now I am a single mother, my son's father left me when I was pregnant and only visits once a yr. for a weekend. I never learned how to stand up for myself in a relationship, people constantly use me for a doormat and I have very little self esteem even thought I am a kind hearted, generous person. I have no living family left but older half sister, and barely any friends. My life is a daily struggle for self esteem and mostly I feel hopeless and depressed. Please stop blaming these children, you are the adult and you made the choice to get involved. The children did not choose you.

I get a card from my wife and another from my Son (SS) every year. I also get one from my Mom and Dad and Brother and his family.

I may not have contributed genetically to a child but I have a Son (17) who I have raised as my own since he was 15mos old. I am the full time Dad in his life, the one that taught him to use a toilet, ride his bike, how to read, coached his teams, schlepped he and his friends and girl friend to dates, dances, earned a high income living so we could live in the best school districts, send him to top notch camps and boarding school, took him to Europe and Asia, paid for his music lessons, and hold him when he is ill hurt or upset.

Damned right I get a card ...... and I get called Dad. Since I am the only REAL Dad he has.

All while his SpermDad went on to a distinguished career of brooding 4 out of wedlock spawn by three different mothers (SS is the oldest) while bankrupting himself and his parents who have paid his CS for two kids and raised the youngest two in their home on their dime.

Yep, I get a card, I get called Dad. I am his only Dad.

The other guy is just a toothless moron who gets his name on the birth certificate.

Best regards,

Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)

I am a childless step mom too and I don't care to do anything for mothers day to be honest, I haven't even thought about it. It does not bother me either way.
Purpleflower

I remember my first mothers day. I had the kids make BM cards and take it to her. But I got nothing. I tried to not be upset. The Next year I did the same thing, had them make cards. The kids asked BF for money for flowers for BM. UGH. Now our money goes for gifts for her. That was frustrating. SD13 made me a cute card but SS10 came into the room and announced that he would have made me a card but he didn't want to. I started balling. I could not help myself. I was so upset that only one of the three children thought of me but not even the BF got me something that would say that he appreciated my time and MONEY i spend on his kids.
So last year, I gave him a clip out of what I wanted for mothers day. I told him he was taking me to dinner, and guess what... I got exactly what I asked for. I guess guys are just clueless and don't really think about too much about it. Hope this helps.

I felt the same way, and when I mentioned it to my husband he apologized and has gotten me a card every since. Truth is it makes me feel good kinda. I know my husband and his girls appreciate me but I will never be mom. I think the fact that I'm not mom to anyone is what makes it harder. 

So in our situation, I've already told DH he can't do anything for BM (disaster last year... Involved him asking for my credit card to go buy her a gift "for the sake of the girls" and then walking into the house to find a giant envelope with her name, not even mom, on it, in DH's handwriting, also wtih a heart, dark day... That was the day I told him that she has a bf that she's been with for years, and it's HIS responsibility to get her something if he wants her celebrated, but that not a penny of our money would be going to celebrating a psycho narc, the girls can still make a card if they want, I'll even help, but we're not spending money, and the girls can do all the writing. Of course a lot of that just didn't help with all the dread going on about mother's day... But I'm sticking to it.).

He did have the girls pick something out last year, I honestly wasn't expecting a thing, in fact I had been dreading mother's day for months and was expecting something along the lines of being told I'm not a real mom and i don't count... But the girls picked something out, SD9 even drew me some pictures and got me chocolate with her own money. I was shocked, but it meant tons to me. This year I'm sure he'll do something, since i got here I've been helping a lot, and since BM abandonded 10 months ago, I've been actively in a mom role. I'm not saying I am mom of course, but that's the role I'm in right now.