There are three of them, correct? Have Dad talk to them about how there just isn't room for the extra storage. Between the three of them they surely can afford one small to medium size storage unit.

Sure, they want all that junk ( ) , at least until they have their own apartments and/or homes and then they will seriously rethink sorting it out as to what can go and what they just must keep (forever and ever *rolls eyes*)

Dad can help them properly pack and the stuff up and move it to the new storage unit. Don't make it about 'this isn't their home', or 'you've never lived here'. No need to go that far. They are welcome to come visit and you enjoy having them, but the stuff just takes up too much needed space considering they are able to come on such a limited time.

If it keeps peace with DH, he can chip in part of the storage unit cost. Who knows, there might be some stuff lurking around in the corner, closets and attics of the house that you and/or your daughters might also store until later.

Seventy-five bucks split three or four ways is pretty cheap to keep your needed space available and your occasional skids feeling like their stuff is safe and being kept for them.

My own youngest (until he and his fiancé bought their house a about four years ago) was not given much of a choice. He was living at home until his DF graduated and they found a house. He paid rent and all that, but I still one day just announced it was time he and DF got a storage unit. He had his hunting and fishing gear, a few nice tables of various types he had purchased from his step-grandpa's auction, beginnings of kitchen household things his DF and he was beginning to buy ect ect ect.

He just took one weekend to sort, properly pack and run my pick-up truck over to the rented storage unit and son and I once again went back to peace and plenty of room.

Have your DH rent a storage unit, close by; move it all out in the unit. Good idea to store some of your own extra stuff too.

When DH and I first got together he was storing ss's, sil's and exGF's stuff. It was ridiculous and impossible for me to feel comfortable with mountains and rooms of others people's junk all over. I set a boundary that everyone needed to get their stuff in 30 days or it gets donated. ss's got their stuff but sil and exgf's stuff went to a good cause.

How silly that your grown and gone adult skids need to stake their claim in a home that was never theirs to begin with. I couldn't imagine leaving bags of crap at my mothers house. How rude to impose on someone like that.

I'd box it all up and send it to them with a nice note saying, "Thought you'd be missing these." If they get upset just tell them you don't have the space.

**ETA: "his mom said "she was tired of taking care of grown folks"" I agree with his mother, taking care of and having your grown children live w/you is no fun. You're still in that parent/child dynamic. You never get a break and they never really grow up.

Your husband is your problem, not his kids. If he agrees to things without consulting you that is him being out of line. You need to work out how to get him to realize that you deserve equal say in decisions that affect you and your home

Yea, this happened to me. I had to get very hard and slap husband with a newspaper every single time he and SD made a decision for which I was not consulted. I was like a broken record, but I brought it up EVERY SINGLE TIME, even when it was a decision that made no difference to me. The point was training him to always say, "Let me check with Marblefawn and get back to you." Magic words: "Let me check with SMO and get back to you." How damn hard is that??????

So SD's stuff is still in my basement 14 months after it appeared without consultation with me. I've decided not to fight that battle yet, especially because I feel the stuff has a glowing future someday being tossed from a window and set on fire...a la Betty Broderick. Damn...that would feel SO GOOD. Especially in these sub-zero temperatures.

I think for you, the fact that your kids lived there might make this storage issue a harder battle to fight - your husband will always throw that out there in an argument. But that's not the point to drive home. The point to drive home is that you should always be consulted about household issues: "You and your kids, who don't even live here, made a decision about something going on in my own house - how do you think that makes me feel? What does that say about my role here?" If you have a track record of always consulting him, throw this in his face, ask him, "Don't I always consult with you about things like this?" and when he concedes that is indeed your record, you then sweetly say, "Great. So when can you get the things moved to the storage unit?"

Right now, you need to have less stress, less to do, and less to clean so you can concentrate on your health. The stuff has to go. And no more dinners unless you invite the skids, that way you will know who is showing up. If your husband gives you any crap, just point out that they bring too many uninvited guests, so until this stops, you must make the invitation to them. Period. No invitation, no skids. They have taken advantage of your kindness, so now you must roll back the open invitations until they learn not to take advantage (just like swatting them with a newspaper!)

My husband has a very loosy goosy way of dealing with his kid and family. I was single for years and had total control of who was rolling through my space. We've both had to give a little. But the bottom line is if you consult with your spouse, there will be no surprises.

I think, given your health history, you really need to lay down the law with some of this stuff that they've all gotten away with for years. Girl, time to let that cancer work for you! You tell him how important a stress-free life is for your continued recovery. Tell him "stress free" for you means knowing who to expect for dinner, knowing what to expect will be stored in your closets, and having some control over your own household.

Stick to your guns on this. You've got too many other things on which to focus. You beat back cancer. I think you can handle these pesky skids!

Okay, playing devils advocate here. I'm assuming it's your house , since you said your girls grew up there. What kind of financial arrangement do you have with your DH? I am in the same situation , since he had to sell his house according to the CO . We want to have our own house together, but haven't found it yet, so we are living in my house. He pays half the expenses and has access to half the house. We share the master bedroom, he gets half of the basement, and half of the garage. He has a man cave ( former dining room turned den) and I have my cave ( spare bedroom). If he wants to store his adult kid's cr@p in his space that's his business. And if I want to store my adult kids' cr@p in my space that's my business. I would draw the line at furniture , since it takes up so much space. It doesn't even make sense for someone to get a truck and move furniture several states away to store. As far as the other stuff, totes are your friend. DH and the "kids " can go buy some , sort their stuff, and store it in his space.

Since you and yours apparently have access to more than half the house, are you paying more than half of the expenses?
Will your kids get the boot on graduation from college? They are adults too.

Regarding preparing a holiday meal two days after you get out of the hospital, whether it's for five or 10, just say no. It's okay to take care of yourself . I agree with the others. Your problem is with your DH. Why would you allow this? Why would he allow this? Does he not know how to cook? How about the other three adults in the home? If not, there's always your local grocery deli/ Boston market / Costco/ Sam's Club for a bulk meal. Even if you prepare the meal, why is it assumed you have to do the cleaning?