many certainly are abusing the system. Many of those to whom it happens "for real" never say a word about it.

Reminds me of a joke... not to be crass... but...

A woman took her husband's boat out one day, to the middle of a really nice quiet lake. As she sat there, enjoying the peace and tranquility, sipping her soda and reading her book, she sees a boat coming towards her...a wildlife warden.

He pulls up next to her, and say "Ma'am, you're in a restricted fishing zone." The woman replies "Oh, but I'm not fishing!"

The warden surveys the boat, and tells her "Well miss, you have a tacklebox, fishing rods and other fishing tools, so while you might not be fishing right now, you might... so since you have all the equipment, I'm going to have to take you in."

The woman says "that's fine, but I will have to cry sexual assault."

The warden is confused..."But Ma'am, I didn't touch you!"

The woman replies... "No, but you might, seeing as you have all the equipment...."

The warden starts his motor, tips his hat and wishes the woman a nice rest of her afternoon.

This is BS. Women have been assaulted and harassed throughout history with no recourse and are finally being heard. That's all that's happening. None of the accusations lately have been about 'youthful indiscretions' that you seem to be so worried about here...they've all been far older, far more powerful men preying on younger, less powerful women. That's wrong and it needs to stop...and I'm glad women are finally being taken seriously.

So you knew all of these women 10 to 40 years ago to make such a statement? You know nothing about them or what they went through. If successful men don't want their "lives ruined" they should keep their hands and penises to themselves. I have no fear my son will be accused of sexual assault because I will teach him it's wrong.

I don't care what a woman is wearing or what her life goals may be, it doesn't give any guy the right to touch her, speak about her body or friggin masturbate in front of her.

I'm glad these pervy pieces of feces are finally being called out.

Acra, women are not stupid. Every single one of the women who steps forward knows that they will be subject to people (and if they or their abuser are famous, press) who express views similar to yours. They know that their integrity and morality will be questioned. They knew that if they did not have photographic evidence that their lone single voice would be ignored, as many were when they tried to do something at the time of their abuse (or they were silenced by those conspiring to protect the abusers name). This is why it took MULTIPLE women coming forward for each abuser before they had a chance of being believed. If you take the time to read the individual accounts of the women who have come forwards you will see that each abuser has his own tactics that he repeats and refined over the years. It chilled me to read them that someone could get away with it all because a lone woman’s voice is never equivalent to a lone man’s voice.

Your description of women being ‘worn and torn’ disgusts me. Acra, the way you talk on here suggests that you and your SO get up to a fair amount of sex. I too have a great amount of sex. We are not worn and torn from sex. No matter the number of different people we have sex with. Sex is exercise, it makes us healthier, stronger. Please think on why you describe women in this way. It is a way of saying that sex and sexuality are bad for women, while passing no judgment on men.

Yes it is not beyond possible that some false accusations will get thrown in somewhere. But those will be vastly smaller in number than those that are finally finding their voices. Compared to the number of women who still have no chance of being believed if they talk about their abuse, it will be minuscule.

This blog makes me sad.

I think this is all a slippery slope, I think women get harassed and are afraid to speak out, I think there are women who use their looks and sexuality to get what they want....I think there are people ( because men are harassed too) that are going to have the courage to speak out and then there are people who are looking for their 5 minutes of fame. The 5 minute of famers are going to muddy the waters for the ones standing up for what is right.

Fact: Women are now rising up and saying "No More" to being abused!! I have never seen a movement like this in all my 53 years and it's about time.

Fact: There will always be a percentage of women who lie about their abuse. It's not just here and now but has gone on for years. They are the minority though...

Fact: If you have been abused by a man, lost a job or opportunity, got a smack on the ass or was told to sit down and shut up, you see this post as an affront to your own life experience and may even feel categorized by it. Don't. It is an opinion and thank God we all have the right to express ours. You know your own truth.

Fact: There will be some good men that get accused and have done nothing. That part is a shame but it will happen. It is a consequence of taking back our power as women because there is no easy way to sort the truth from the liars in the world. An unfortunate part of the process.

Being sexually assaulted never leaves you. Years and years go by, and you don't get over it. You watch the person who did it to you having fun, being popular and liked by people who don't know what he did, while you are quiet, hurt and angry as it affects how you feel about yourself. You watch him enjoying life, while you cannot truly enjoy it or ever escape.

So many people don't tell at first because they are sure they won't be believed. They'll be further ridiculed. There may even be retaliation towards them.

I'm happy that so many women and some men are coming forward. I think that it leaves those abusers who haven't been outed yet now living with daily fear that their time will come. I think that others who may have abused someone are going to think twice because people aren't so afraid to talk anymore, since the collective of victims have decided to go public.

There are still many who won't tell and will continue living in shame. I think we need to focus as well on teaching children to tell a trusted adult immediately if anyone tries something off with them.

Two stories from my life- At 12-13 a boy in my class would molest me on the bus nearly every day. I just froze, didn't know what to do. I would move seats, and he would move with me. One day, I got the courage to yell, "stop it" at him. And it ended that day. From then on I wondered why I hadn't told him to stop it earlier. It wasn't consent, it was fear. I was afraid to tell anyone- the principal wouldn't believe me, my mother (who often told me I was unattractive in different ways) wouldn't think anyone would want to touch me, so I was lying. I'd be made fun of by kids at school. So, I said nothing, and for two decades or more I was angry, hurt and ashamed. It really affected my life. At 36 I had a sort of mental break down. I confronted him through a facebook message. I fully expected him to deny it, but he apologized. I had closure, finally. The anger is gone. I still carry some of the shame for not telling him to stop it earlier, for being the one he did this to in the first place.

My son was almost molested and certainly harassed by my ex ss, who took out his penis and demanded that my son do sexual things with him. I was not home. He ran and hid, and then told me the second I walked in the door. I believed him and confronted ex ss, who was sent to a special school for years. He told me because he was taught by a special police program at his school to do so. What if he had not? What would have happened to him if he kept that secret?

I can only imagine what it's like to be the one who has an abuser who publicly denies it. Woody Allen's poor daughter. To have to watch him continuing to be famous, lauded and loved after she came out and he denied it. Disgusting.

Not every woman who comes forward is telling the truth.
Not every woman who comes forward is lying.

Not every man who is accused is guilty.
Not every man who is accused is innocent.

I dont like the blanket statements where you must believe the women, where you must lynch the men.
Each case should be looked at on its merit - and you can make a determination as to legal merit and moral merit.
There may be no provable legal guilt, but that doesn't mean you are innocent.
You may be the scumbag tosser they say you are. Even with no court case.

It takes a lot for a woman to come forward and allege sexual assault or sexual harrassment. Too many victims of sexual assault do not report. Some victims who do report are lying, however, this is a very small percentage.

I am not in your corner because I am woman. I am not against you because you are a man.
I have the right to determine for myself how credible you are from what you say.
Or you will have your credibility tested in a court of law.

I am still surprised by the woo-haa in the USA over this.
In the UK. my generation of women are a lot more assertive of our own rights.

More power to the women (and men) who take a stand!

The saddest thing, to me, in this entire debate is what is happening on this board today happens everywhere all the time. Even in the RARE case that a woman sees her sexual abuser in a courtroom, she is slandered, vilified, and made out to be a liar and a slut. Every damn day victims of sexual assault are treated this way in our "justice" system. They will continue to be treated so unjustly until these mysogynistic notions are driven out by shame and fear or die out.

Anyone who thinks its Ok to even discuss clothing, or how many sexual partners, or any other IRRELEVANT factors regarding sexual assault should be ashamed. And I'm glad there are men living in fear today that their victim may speak out tomorrow. It makes me satisfied that a feeling they inflicted FOREVER on their victims is finally coming back in karmic justice.

Wow, sometimes we are own worst enemy. The reference to women using men for money or being attractive to men based on the size of his investment portfolio is absolute bullsh*t. Stop perpetuating the notion that women are incapable of being independent.

I have a DD. I want a better world for her so I appreciate the women coming forward and talking about it at THEIR expense (blogs like this is why a lot of women stay silent.)

Acra I feel like you are projecting who your SD is onto other girls. Just because a girl parties, goes out and sleeps around doesn't mean she can't be assaulted. Remember the movie with Jodi Foster...she was a drunk bar fly who got gang raped and figured no matter what she said nobody would believe her because she was a drunk barfly.

I understand your post and I understand where you are coming from, yes good people get accused of things, it happens because the system sucks and it's not perfect. But a lot of victims get shamed at the same time and nothing happens to the person who abused them.

Rape and assualt are completely different than regretting a consensual sexual encounter. Many of the accounts I've read are from adults who willing went home w/the other person, got in their bed and got touched or had consensual sex and now claim that they didn't want it.

While many of these claims are legit some are completely ridiculous and attention seeking. Yes it is concerning that a woman can cry rape decades later against someone she may have a grudge against and zero proof. As a mother of sons yes it's very concerning. I've drilled consent and respect into my boys and hope they use those concepts out there in the world of women.

Years ago I was sexually assaulted in a park by a stranger who came up to me and grabbed me and wanted sex. He was telling me all about his p#nis and how gentle he would be. Luckily I broke away, got help from some guys nearby and they called the police. The guy was apprehended and I had to go to court and testify against him. This is a legitimate case of assault.

I've also had sex with men who I really didn't like. I may have been a bit inebriated but still willingly went along with them. I went home w/them and things happened. I was dumb, it wasn't the best expereince. They wanted it more than me but I never said no so it was consenual. Huge contrast from my experience in the park. The first was assault the others a bit regretful.

No reason to spend time worrying about the small amount of women who have abused the system.

Instead it is time to be proud of the brave women standing up for what’s right!

So many women want to shame victims and throw in discussions about clothing. I have always thought it was thier defense mechanism. This could never happen to me since they don’t dress or act a certain way.” Arguing about the few women that abuse the system makes me think how deeply scared and insecure the auguring woman must be.

It’s been a dangerous world for women for hundreds and hundreds of years! I am so happy to see America start to address the issue of abuse towards girls/women.

Be supportive of your fellow women.

I just want to go on record here that I don't want people to confuse the fact that I think that the way we present ourselves to the world is going to impact the way that people interact with us is saying that because a woman wears 6 inch heels, it's ok to assault or harass them.

If you are dressing in a manner that is contrived to attract attention, understand that you don't have control over who notices and gawks or approaches you because of it. That is not giving anyone permission to assault you, but it means that you can't only send out signals that your "preferred mates" will respond and all the other duds won't.

There are dress codes in workplaces and other institutions that are in place for a variety of reasons. Primarily they seek to ensure safety and comfort.. but they often also seek to set a certain professional/respectful level of dressing so that people aren't wearing their beach attire to the office or dressing as if they are going to a night club where they would typically be looking to attract a mate vs getting payroll done or a legal case settled.

Honestly, it's a tightrope we walk sometimes. We try to educate people on ways that they can reduce the chances of being a victim because some crimes ARE somewhat dependent on the opportunity. An unlocked car or one with visible packages is more liable to be burglarized. Is it victim blaming to tell people to lock doors, put packages in the trunk and park in well lighted areas? I mean, certainly you could do all those things and still be burglarized, but it is likely the incidence would be reduced by taking those steps. Yet, when we advocate counseling young women to exercise caution when going to campus parties (while also advocating that the frat houses have training)there are people who want to say that it's like saying it's a girl's fault if she gets assaulted. Certainly it isn't, but perhaps if she had taken some steps.. it might have been less likely. And of course, sometimes, nothing they could have done would have resulted in a different outcome.

So, if you want to wear whatever.. or nothing.. no, no one should assault you. In fact, how someone dresses may have no bearing whatsoever on why someone chooses to perpetrate an assault. But that still doesn't mean that dressing in a way that respects the occasion is somehow tantamount to blaming a victim. Seriously, teach women to respect themselves and teach men to respect women.

It honestly is just as important to teach our sons and daughters about unwanted advances, consent, legalities, respecting eachother. And for girls, YES, they DO need to be told about watching their drink.

My SD told me the story of her and her friend-friend spiked the drink and took advantage of her friend. She said she thought because they were with friends they would be fine. They didn't report it, they didn't say anything until way later...in our girls circles it seems these things are 'normal' almost-which is devastating.

I preached at her the importance of never having her drink unattended -EVEN w/her guy friends-ever. And make sure her friends didn't. I did my fair share of babysitting drunk friends from getting messed with in my younger years. Even at a work event- one guy got mouthy w/me because I was taking my drunk friend upstairs even though she wanted to stay and party- he said I should go up since she obviously wanted to stay and have a good time....if I had-he would have easily taken her to his room and she would have had to live w/that. He was a slime ball...needless to say I ignored him. Parents- teach your daughters to avoid dangerous places and people, have them read "The Gift of Fear" when they hit teenage years- teach them safety precautions if/when in precarious situations, teach them that drinking can lower their inhibition to do things they may not want to do, and puts them at risk. Teach them that how they dress DOES matter and is ok but that and can and will attract wanted and unwanted attention and how to handle that and stay safe. There is no blaming victim going on by teaching our children and young ones to protect themselves, and teaching our children to respect others and about consent.

We as generations go by keep the cycle going -WE are at fault (general) - WE have to make changes for them.

OH but of course!!! I agree 100pct- which is WHY I mentioned teaching our sons as well about consent, respect of eachother, legalities, . I have and DO preach that to my sons at every turn. I was just referring and spent more 'ink' on the drink thing w/girls because it's happened to soooo many and it's heartbreaking that we DO have to teach these things to them. The REALITY is that it's going to take a LONG LONG time to change the way things are, this movement is just the beginning, tip of the iceberg if you will-so until it DOES swing things to a balance, we have to keep teaching our daughters and girls and children how to protect themselves. I gave the protection speech to my sons in regards to outsiders since they were early enough to remember....people molest boys also.