New Blended Siblings Claiming Territory and Items
So this weekend we introduced new house rules, chore lists, discipline techniques, schedule/routine, rewards chart. We had a really great weekend together. They seem to thrive on the guidance. We only had to separate them for a little bit because my son was really tired and crabby. But overall it went well. The one thing I did notice is that well, now I am not sure if the issue stems from the ability to share or is it more about claiming and finding their place in the new pecking order? The reason I am thinking this is because no matter whose toy it is, if the other picks it up, the other wants it immediately and it gets even more complicated when there are ownership rights to the item. I watched my son grab our giant exercise ball, (that is OURS by the way, the parents), and immediately, our daughter ran over to the ball and tried to take it away from our son. So if he has it, she wants it and vice versa. I still have much learning to do in this area. Any thoughts on this? I feel like if I understood the psychology around this behavior then maybe I could figure out how to curb it or change it. Thank you!
How old are the kids? In
How old are the kids? In most cases, I am a big fan of just letting them work it out. They need to learn to cope and compromise. But if they're very young, then you need to redirect the one trying to take away something. If I have to intervene, my rule is whoever had it first gets to play with it, BUT they must actually be playing with it (not hoarding)and if the other child is redirected and picks up something else, the first child must not then decide they're finished with the first toy or try to take the new toy. If this happens, there must be consequence (stern talking to, time out, sent to room, whatever works and is age appropriate).
"A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist counts on the wind changing, a realist adjusts his sails"
Yeah, let them duke it out.
Yeah, let them duke it out. If you see abusive behavior like hitting, pushing, biting, destruction, then address the act. I have meetings with mine and tell them collectively: "hey, guys, let's try not to [...] because it is not nice and then the other one gets you back by doing [...] and you all are hurt". If I do not hear or see abusive physical behavior, then I leave it alone.