Partner Not a Disciplinarian Naturally
I'm curious if anyone has expereinced this. My partner has a problem discipling her own children but has no problem disciplining mine. We can sit and blame one another or talk about whose kids are better/worse but we both know that only leads to resentment and is counterproductive to family cohesion and the so called united front. Since our situation is fairly new, we as parents both agree that things need to change in the household. We have established family rules and routines and discussed discipline techniques. What I am fearing is that abiding by these new guidelines is going to set these kids off in a frenzy since they have all been allowed to get away with stuff in the past. I have watched my partner fail at following through with discipline and instead ends up telling her kids empty threats. And I have failed at recognizing my own sons lack of respect for her and catching his demanding tones. We try and help one another point these things out so we can nip them in the bud right away. My question is I am wondering how I can help her see that she needs to work with me and follow through with the discipline and believe that it is the right thing to do without her feeling guilty about it. I believe what I saw in her face was guilt for disciplining her kids. Her youngest was a preemie and she had already lost one son so I am thinking that discipline may feel bad for her to do, plus she thinks about the divorce and the affect on the kids so she unconsciously thinks that they do not deserve to be disiplned but my thinking is that we are doing them a disservice. Any thoughts on this?
I agree that a lack of
I agree that a lack of discipline does not help the kids. I have no idea how to get your wife to understand this. I think you've got a good start with agreeing that things need to change and putting rules in place. The biggest thing will be to not judge her. Show her by example, discipline yours and then talk with her about it later - why you disciplined them, what you did, etc and see if that helps. Good luck!
"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".
Dealing with the same exact
Dealing with the same exact thing - Read my last blog
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”
I LIVE WITH MY FIANCE AND HE
I LIVE WITH MY FIANCE AND HE HAS A 16 AND ALMOST 20 YR OLD, THEY HAVE NEVER BEEN TOLD NO. THEY ARE ROTTEN, DIRTY, AND DISRESPTECTFUL. THEY LIVE WITH US. I CANNOT SAY ANYTHING, FIANCE GETS AN INSTANT ATTITUDE. THE ALMOST 20 YR OLD IS A MOOOOOOCH REALLY BAD AND THE 16 YR OLD ACTS 8 AND DOES VERY WEIRD THINGS. HE HAS ONLY ONE FRIEND AND GOES TO A LARGE SCHOOL AND KEEPS SAYING HE HAS THE HIGHEST IQ IN HIS CLASS. PLEASE, HE HAS THE BRAIN OF ROACH. LIFE IS HELL, WITH THESE IMBOSILS, CANNOT WAIT UNTIL THEY FINALLY GET A LIFE AND MOVE OUT. BUT, THEY WANT WANT WANT EVERY DAY. THE ALMOST 20 WANTED MONEY TO BUY HIS MOTHER A BIRTHDAY PRESENT, CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT ONE.
My partner does not ask his
My partner does not ask his daughter to do anything or disciplines her, EVER!
But he screams at my cats for doing as much as trying to sleep on the couch.
And then his daughter chimes in too and they both yell at my cats.
I have asked them to stop, but they have not.
I am not allowed to do it (actually I have never yelled at her) but it makes me feel like I should.