thinkthrice's picture

Eight Years Ago Today

YSS PASed out over a home cooked meal. After a period of blaming me for the PAS, continued peaceful bliss ensued. After 13 looooooonnnnnnggg years, Chef finally admitted that marrying the Girhippo and breeding with her was a biiiiiig mistake.

CS will impoverish him for the rest of his years.

strugglingSM's picture

DH has admitted to me that he

DH has admitted to me that he regrets meeting and marrying BM. He's told me that he didn't marry her out of love, but rather because he thought at his age, he should be married. I told him that was great and all, but now he'll have to put up with her forever because he let his natural optimism cloud his judgment. I know I should be more sympathetic toward him, because he's my husband, but man, sometimes I resent him for bringing her drama into my life.

Peanut575's picture

Did we marry the same man?

Did we marry the same man? Asides from the ages of our SS's your story always sounds so similar to mine! I'm both happy to not be alone and so sorry you have to go through the same things as me

DirtyDiane's picture

I'm sure DH regrets every

I'm sure DH regrets every having SD with BM. They were never married. For some reason, they planned to have a kid together Puzzled Puzzled

I just try to not even think about it because it's hard to imagine how someone could ever think procreating with BM was a good idea lol. He already knew he was crazy bc they dated about 10 years before they got back together and had SD, and BM pulled a knife on him back then which is why they originally broke up. You'd think you'd learn your lesson after having a knife pulled on you. But apparently DH didn't.

arjuna79's picture

But wait. I remember reading

But wait. I remember reading this as it happened! How can that be??!! So many years, so quickly gone.... Shocked

DPW's picture

Same, but under different

Same, but under different names!!!! Gulp! The time I've spent...

Acratopotes's picture

X admitted he married BM to

X admitted he married BM to get accommodation, single guys had to live in single units, married people got a house..
he admitted he wished they never had kids, if he only divorced her years ago or never got married..

he admitted he blames me for not having more kids with him during the past 14 years, he resents me for not falling pregnant, while BM is producing snot noses left right and center...

Blended family life turned me into a pirate....
All I want to do is drink Rum and stab people

moving_on_again's picture

SO never says he regrets

SO never says he regrets marrying BM, not even after he figured out first kid (reason for marrying) wasn't his. I think he feels like that would be saying he regrets the skids. And honestly, he would still be married to her if it weren't for her filing. In his family, divorce is not an option. He was literally the second person to get divorced in his family.

I don't think they ever really had "good times," SO was my DS's father's boss and we actually all hung out at times, BM was always mean. She accused SO and I of fooling around during that time, we never did and were only alone one single time for like 2 minutes. However, BM and DS's father were cheating on us left and right, but not with each other.

DaniellaR's picture

DH regrets reproducing with

DH regrets reproducing with crazy. He never officially even dated BM and thought he would be leaving the country soon so he would never see her again (military). DH was an alcoholic in his teen/early 20's (our state allowed 18 yr olds to drink back then) and BM would tag along with the group he hung out with and then buy DH drinks all night I guess until she looked F-able. BM is absolutely hideous, friends have asked if she has some type of disorder that makes her looks like that. I kinda wondered the same thing, my initial reaction to seeing BM for the first time was OH MY GOD (not in a good way). I wonder what DH was thinking and then remember what a drunk the man was and the fact that BM would buy drinks all night- only way she could get a man I guess. I wouldn't have touched DH with a 10 foot pole when he was an alcoholic (yes, I have known DH since we were kids and was never attracted to him back then because he was a drunk).

Anyway, BM told DH she was allergic to condoms but not to worry because she was on BC and here, have another shot. Alcoholic DH fell for that crap. He was pissed when she came up pregnant and didn't speak to her for weeks. Well, DH was being shipped off to war and I guess wanted to get things straight before he went off to die so he got back into contact with the psycho BM. He didn't marry her before war, because he honestly thought he was going to die and he would get out of marrying the ugly nutbag. He survived, came back injured, with PTSD, was put on psych meds and decided he needed to live up to his promise to god (while at war) that if he made it, he would become a good man. He bit the bullet (got on antidepressants too) and married crazy BM. He describes his wedding day as miserable and something he thought he had to do as a good catholic. Yep, what a love story.

I don't call BM a psycho for nothing. She was in the mental hospital several times, had several rounds of electro shock therapy and is on disability for mental illness. One of those times she confessed to DH that she purposefully trapped him with skid#1 and when she thought he was leaving, she tried it again with skid#2 (she knew DH was weaning off a lot of psych meds for ptsd- he definitely wasn't in his right mind). Considering how messed up I get off of one percocet, I begrudgingly understand how DH unwillingly procreated again with that thing (he had a pill box of psych meds like an 80 yr old). He left BM as soon as he was weaned down off a large portion of his psych meds and his mind cleared (took 2 years, they had him on that much).

DH never wanted a relationship with BM, he is pretty damn vocal about it to anyone that brings up the subject and he sure as hell never wanted to procreate with the thing. Probably not good of him to do, but he is vocal about that when asked too. Skids were produced to trap DH and because BM "wanted a baby with DH." Yep, she really told him that (DH has hated the woman since). Skids look and act exactly like the crazy BM. Oh yeah, it affects their relationship I am sure. I don't know how having mini clones of someone you hate running around wouldn't affect you. Not my problem. I am absolutely sure skids will also have several of BM's mental illnesses, they are already in therapy for issues and every female in BM's family has serious mental issues. I told DH I have no interest in dealing with psychotic people and that includes his kids. He can have a relationship with them, just leave me out of it. I should also note that for my job, I constantly have to pass background checks and can't even write a bad check. DH also has to have clearance for his job so our home is a no crazies zone.

thinkthrice's picture

I think it's possible to

I think it's possible to regret the marriage but not the children as a result. I know I fall into that category.

Author of "The Guilty Parent Trap"--Amazon Kindle

oneoffour's picture

DH and BM had some good

DH and BM had some good years. 5 to be exact. She walked out after 5 yrs and then was guilted back by her parents. And the next 15 yrs it went slowly downhill. She is nice enough. Not someone I would be friends with but she keeps to herself and hasn't created too much hassle. Although she did tell her sons not to get too attached to me because we would be divorced inside a year.... 13 yrs later ....

I even mentioned last week that if for some reason we had to evacuate I would have no problems asking BM if she wanted to join us. DH was "Um no!" I told him that she is still the mother of his sons and it is the right thing to do. But we are not taking her cats! But as I said, hardly a peep out of her in all these years which makes things easier for us.