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Dh needs to just shut up already, any advice?

Doorsy's picture

Dh is still carrying on and on about dd and the accident at school. He is making jokes at her expense about not touching anything that is breakable since she can't be trusted to stand up and take responsibility. Yesterday he picked her up since I had a flat tire and made her stay outside the store and sit on a bench because she can't be trusted to do the right thing if she were to damage something. When they got home and she told me I was livid. I went off and he yelled just as loud back which was a surprise. I really didn't expect that to be honest.He told dd he has lost all faith in her and how can someone who doesn't take responsibility be trusted. I dropped her at my friends house today since he is home. I sent him a long text explaining that what he is doing is wrong and he sent back one just as long telling me to man up and parent dd. Any advice besides get a divorce? We're not divorcing so please don't recommend that.

Comments

notsobad's picture

Is this his way of saying that you are just as bad a parent as he is? That his kids aren't any worse than yours?

I don't know your story but it sounds like he's finally found this one thing that he can use to say, "You think I'm a bad parent? You think my kids don't take any responsibly for anything? Well, so are you and you kid isn't any better than mine!"

hereiam's picture

If I remember correctly, your daughter was just doing as she was told by the band leader at school. She asked for help but was told to just do it, correct? Had she refused to do it, your husband would be giving her crap about not doing as she's told and following orders.

Your husband is acting like an immature ass. I hope he feels like a big man, making your daughter feel like crap and treating her like a dog. For now, I would tell him not to speak another word to her unless it's to apologize.

Why is he acting like this, anyway? If he is doing this to get back at you, as mentioned in your other blog, he's flat out wrong to take it out on your DD this way and I would be pissed beyond belief.

I don't know what I would do, my DH would never mistreat a child to get back at the child's parent. That's not the kind of man he is, nor would I want to be with him if he was.

Willow2010's picture

I rarely recommend divorce and you don’t want to hear divorce. But I would be damn if I would let a man abuse my child like this. And that is what you are doing. You are letting him.

Since you won’t pick your child over your DH, I would suggest living apart until the kids move out OR better yet, send your DD to her dad since you won’t protect her from this asshole man.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

This is waaaaaay past funny and is now mental abuse. Since remaining married to this... 'man' seems to be more important than your child's mental health, I suggest living separately. And please consider therapy for that poor girl.

Disneyfan's picture

Since divorcing the man who is treating UOUR CHILD like this isn't an option( :? ),then please send your daughter to live with her father. If dad isn't around, then find a family member or close friend to take her in.

Your daughter should not have to put up with mental abuse from your idiot husband simply because you aren't willing to leave his ass

I agree with views on her not speaking up, but what he's doing to get is wrong.

twoviewpoints's picture

Oh for Pete's sake. Fine stay married and both of you keep up this juvenile game you two like to play of terrorizing each other's daughters.

This girl is 13yrs old. So he made her get out of the car, walk up to the storefront and sit on a bench. Did he make her wear a sign that read 'I am a bad girl' too?

Look, it was an accident. Was it an avoidable accident? Yes it was. No kid should have been told to play mule and drag a heavy fully loaded cart uphill. It was an irresponsible stupid request. The kid is 13, where the heck was the adult supervision?

Your husband is being a horse's *ss. I have no tolerance for ignorant arrogant horse's asses. None.

Tell him to shut his trap. He's not cute. He's not funny. One more word or action towards your child and you will make his life a miserable h*ll. If you two wanna stay married then start picking at and on each other...but leave these two kids out of your games. Give the girls each money for a movie, drop them off, then you and husband have it out. Just keep the girls out of it.

MollyBrown's picture

You guys are so shitty to each other's kid. What is the point in staying in the marriage?

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Right?!

Livingoutloud's picture

Apparently keeping a man is your priority in life. All right then. Keep treating each other's kids like crap and keep yelling at each other and kids, and continue being miserable. What an awesome life. Poor kids

Maxwell09's picture

The fact that your man-child husband chooses to pick on a kid that is not his own just because he doesn't agree with you just screams 1. It's over and 2. Your child is being mentally abused by this a hole. If you are determined to stay with this terrible human then do your daughter a huge favor and let her move in with someone, ANYone who won't mentally abuse her.

Acratopotes's picture

:jawdrop: you did not tell him he's a bully?

I'm sorry but he's nothing more then a bully, I would not allow him close to my kid.

DaizyDuke's picture

He's being an idiot. Did your H hear the story properly? Because he is making it sound like she INTENTIONALLY pushed the cart into the car. If that was the case, then yes, she would need to take responsibility for her actions. But this was an accident, beyond her control, what the heck is she supposed to take responsibility for?? Being small? Being weak? What???

And why would he even care?? The school district should be paying for damages for the vehicle, that is why they have bookoo insurance. I work in a school district, one time the custodian at my building was out weed-wacking around the parking lot and kicked up a stone and it smashed my friend's windshield. School District paid for new windshield. It's quite simple. Why in the world would your H think your DD needed to pay??

According to your H theory on "responsibility" if he were to hit a deer on the way home from work tonight, then your insurance company should NOT have to pay for damages. Your H should pay for the damages, because he is the one that hit the deer. But that's dumb, he would never do that, so why is he asking it of your DD????