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dh feeling bad for himself

SugarSpice's picture

dh is feeling sorry for himself and when he does he tries to use me as an emotional punching bag.

i am on to his tricks and its actually hilarious to see him try his sorry tactics on me.

one tactic pathetic people use against others is trying to bring others down. sorry wont work for me. it was like watching a 6 year old child try to lie his way out of some fantasy. in reality dh had a horrid childhoodof poverty with a really messed up father.

dh was trying to tell me i was difficult to live with as the skids did not want to live under our roof as each of the skids was kicked out of the house by bm as they turned 18. really? difficult? how about when one skids told me to my face to go to h*ll and dh stood by and did nothing? or when one skid threatened to beat me up? i really have no respect for man who cowers in front of his adult children. they are spoiled self absorbed brats who use their father as a cash cow. they suck up to him whenever they need money.

oh and one skid got married and started picking fights with new mother in law.

and dh blames me? i laughed to his face.

some people have a problem with reality.

Acratopotes's picture

Oh I know exactly what you are talking about lol..... it is like they think, if they make us feel guilty we will call their brats and say, So sorry I treated you badly through the years, please move in with us, I will leave you Dad and and pay you monthly...

SO does exactly the same... I keep on saying, NO do not blame me, you are the parent you never taught her how to respect herself or other people... not even you....

fairyo's picture

Yep- like the time I went away with DH and the grandskids- and got accused of being 'evil,' I pointed out that I was the one to make sure they were washed, had sun screen and hats, didn't drown in the sea etc etc and those kids were pretty horrible- but looking back it was him I should have had a go at all along. I'm wiser now- will never go away with them again...

thinkthrice's picture

Ha! I was told I was "evil" and "mean" for insisting that YDD have his homework done for Monday.

Been there, done that, burned the guilt trip.

LJFSYD's picture

Well, three days ago i was told by both steps that they had to protect themselves from me,,,when DH asked "so what do you feel you need to be protected from since I'm always in the room when everyone is together?" Response "her hatred of us". OMG, i just had to LMAO on that one.....seriously,,,,why i gave up yankee tickets so son and dad could have a great trip to atlanta ? Why i gave the SD over $300 of custom made monogrammed items i made? Out of my shop? Well I was an idiot and that is long over, long dead...I have to say DH reminded them of all the things i have tried to do over the last 9 years that they dont seem to give credit for.....must be exhausting for them to be the victims all the time.....very time wasting and consuming, I'd say......it's a great feeling when you finally stop trying to "fix" things and you realize you dont have to anymore...have fun DH dealing with thier drama as it's not in my box anymore

DH tried to give me attitude on several occasions. My response has always been "you having a bad day? If this is about your kids treating you bad and not communicating, take it out on them, not me as I'm not having any of it,,,get enough SH__ off them, dont need yours piling on". He's finally stopped that game

SugarSpice's picture

i love disengaging. stand back and watch everything blow up in their spoiled entitled faces.

SugarSpice's picture

i just wait until dh does not make the skids happy and he becomes their punching bag. they are spoiled dont appreciate what he (or i) did for them all these years.

SugarSpice's picture

lol renewal. i know the feeling. the skids would ignore dh for several months. hed leave messaages on the phones he bought them in a whiny pleading voice. no dignity at all.

then about a month before birth day or christmas the sugary phone calls started. i loooove you daddieeeee.

sickening as he fell for it.

SMforever's picture

It is definitely best to never make any comments at all about skids, and that's easier to do if they are adults already. DH's 20-somethings are total,idiots at times...and then he will say, "gee why did they do that?" As if he is hoping I will say something that he can then call criticism...

I just stand by and hold my tongue. I am not particularly inclined to stay silent at any time, so it takes a lot of effort. However, it is priceless when DH finally reaches his own conclusions (sometimes days later) and comments on how stupid they can be. I am just astonished at how long it takes him to draw conclusions to stuff that is just plain obvious to,any impartial observer.

He will,say to me "should I give SS the money he is asking for" my response is "the only comment I have is ... remember honey, I have no intention of funding your retirement". He can make his own decisions / mistakes / risks, and when retirement time comes, I will execute plan B if necessary.

SugarSpice's picture

i say things like you and dh thinks i am clairvoyant. the look on his face is priceless.

i just know human nature and how stupid the skids will be. they are full of bad life choices and use and abuse others to their advantage. this ends up coming back to haunt them.