How can I get him to understand
I have a problem with my husband, wanted to get some feedback from others maybe even in my position. Lemme start from the beginning my son moved away with his father (next town over) this was like 1.5 yr ago. His choice and his dad is a pretty good guy and the wife i like her. No money involved as "childsupport" since I was getting him every weekend. Neways fast forward to now his dad isn't working and asked me to help him out with anything I could. I agreed, I work and he is my child. So why cause some tension between us we have been so good with this parenting thing. So now my husband is extremely upset to the point where he says I can't continue the relationship. He doesn't work right now has been laid off for a couple of months but he is receiving un employment, yeah money is alittle tight but how am I not gonna help out with my child?
I tried talking to him even brought up the point that he pays child support!!! Yet he says it's not the same since his is taken out automatically.... I'm so upset mad\sad how can I get him to understand that this is how it is. Or is what I'm doing that horrible? I just want some feedback I don't know what to do
Do you discuss this with your
Do you discuss this with your husband prior to you making the decision? He is your husband so you should have talked to him first. Sounds like there may be other things going on. Are u leaving any info or prior issues regarding this out?
Yes I received the txt from
Yes I received the txt from my ex asking me about it and husband was there with me. The txt was more of a help me out with buying him groceries, but I told my husband I'm not doing that I'll just give him money. But now he's like you need to tell me every time you give him money. I just don't even think about it, I asked my ex for his bank info and just deposit when I get paid. I just don't see the problem
Your husband would be a whole
Your husband would be a whole lot angrier if you were actually paying per your states guidelines/laws.
Of course you have o help in supporting your son. Just like every other parent is expected to. Your husband's income, or lack of, has nothing to do with how it. If you and your son's father went through the proper procedure of CS, I would be set per your income and things like division of parenting time. Whatever your state usually does. Mine is a flat percentage (one child, 20%).
Your ex could go and have the amount legally set and taken right out of your paycheck just like your husband now pays his automatically direct.
I admire you for wanting to do the right thing and help support your child. You might do a numbers run and see what you would be court ordered to pay if you and your ex weren't trying to work it out together. That amount (whatever it is) would likely shut your husband right up.
If what your ex needs is help with groceries, fine. If you'd rather do cash your son would have more ways to actually perhaps get things he needs besides food. Just don't get crazy and start handing money over without checking what is considered the 'going rate' per your income and circumstances.
Exactly its 20% and if I
Exactly its 20% and if I would do that it would be way more than what I'm giving him not to mention the system stays with some money too. This is the best choice for us. My sons dad is happy with what I give him and I have enough to still have some money at home.
Yes my husband is laid off
Yes my husband is laid off right now my ex stopped working since he needs surgery done
Couple yrs ago he shattered
Couple yrs ago he shattered his femur and the metal bar that was placed in is getting replaced. He's a veteran
I know that's how it is but
I know that's how it is but ex agreed to just go 50/50 on everything no support needed. And my husbands childsupport for his kids is taken out automatically he says from his unemployment.
Hahaha yes I know BYE!! I
Hahaha yes I know BYE!! I told him that no matter what he said I was going to keep doing it. But he made me feel like I was in the wrong for helping support my son since we're not in the best place financially but I can still help out, plus my son is growing and eats like he hasn't ate in days at every meal lol I know how expensive even eating is now a days!
Thanks
Really I didn't think it
Really I didn't think it would be a problem since I'm keeping the receipts! I guess I'll start using checks from now on
Your DH tries to justify his
:jawdrop: Your DH tries to justify his ridiculous perspective by trying to convince you that since his CS is taken out of his pay it is different than you voluntarily supporting your child when your XH is having financial difficulty after an extended time with neither of you paying the other support? smh
I think your next move in this discussion with your DH is to tell him "Fine, I will contact the state and have them initiate CS and have it taken directly out of my check. How does that sound there DH? Hmmmmmmm?"
Very easily.... tell DH you
Very easily.... tell DH you wills top paying for your child if he stops paying for his
^^^^^^ Perfect!
^^^^^^ Perfect!