I am posting this on 2 forums- I hope that is ok! I am just hoping for as much advice as I can get.

I am new to this forum, but in serious need of support and guidance. I can't really talk about this situation with anyone else...

My husband has had primary custody of his 2 children for the past 4 years. The custody time is split 50/50, but he has final say on the wellbeing of the children. For the past 4 years, BM has been living in another state with her boyfriend because of "work" (She has a part-time work from home job, so really it's just because she wanted to move, although she still claims her parent's address in our state- probably in case she ever wanted to file for custody). She travels back to see the kids about every 10-14 days and stays for around 5 or 6 days. The problem is she comes back on HER schedule and whenever it is convenient for her. We have allowed this for all these years to avoid major conflict, but now the children are starting to have behavioral problems. BM has some psychological issues and it is clear she will do whatever it takes to win their love instead of being an actual mother, and it's definitely starting to show. Both kids are now in therapy and the therapist has suggested they need a strict, more structured schedule, which is something I've been trying to say for years now.

Anyway, after a major crazy event involving BM, my husband said we need to have a structured schedule that alternates every other week beginning on Sunday. She is still allowed her 50%, but it will need to be a strict schedule. In their divorce papers, it states that if both parties cannot agree on a schedule then it will automatically go to an every other weekend custody agreement (BM would only get every other weekend).

Well, because she will not agree to this schedule, she claims she is going to take my husband to court. She is fabricating all kinds of issues that are NOT present, saying she does not feel safe around my husband (but continues to let the kids stay here 20 days a month????) and she cannot commit to an every other week schedule due to her job. (It's not our problem she moved to another state to work a part-time job.) Even her parents think she is absolutely ridiculous. This is for the benefit of her children, yet she will only do what is convenient for her. It infuriates me because she clearly is trying to brainwash the kids to want to be with her, even though she gave up full custody when they got divorced. They have no responsibilities when they are with her...they can eat whatever they want, play video games all day long, do whatever.

Will her story hold up in court at all?? I just think it's crazy to spend thousands of dollars on this! All the stress is really starting to take its toll on me, and seeing the kids have so many issues breaks my heart...They don't deserve it. Any suggestions? Advice?