If step-daughter doesn't like you, keep in will after husband dies?
My husband died a few months ago. His daughter has never liked me. Since her father's been gone, she's had a couple of family cookouts and didn't invite me, so it's pretty plain she doesn't want any continuing relationship with me now.
Our will states that when we're both gone, our house will be sold and the proceeds divided equally among my daughter, and my husband's daughter and son.
I get along fine with his son. It's just the daughter that is a problem.
So far, because the house belonged to my husband too, I've left her in the will as originally stipulated.
I'm trying to honor my husband and be the bigger person by leaving her in. Will she feel a little bit foolish over how she's treated me when she finds out she receives an equal share in the will?
Has anybody else had to deal with a similar situation? How did you handle it?
What if you decide to sell
What if you decide to sell the house (or if you need to sell it) before your death? The house is now yours, not your DH's.
If I were you, I would work with an estate lawyer to draft a new will that does as you see fit.
You need to consult with a
You need to consult with a lawyer who can help you understand how the real property is titled. It may be in some sort of trust that dictates you can live in the home but that once you are gone the sale proceeds would go to the specified heirs. It is also possible that the home is now YOUR property alone.
Once property becomes yours, your husband's wishes are not legally binding upon you. That means you can have a new will drafted up and distribute the proceeds as you wish.
For assets you own and control, you are under no obligation to leave anything to your step daughter, but you need to consult with a lawyer to figure out what you are able to dictate.
TBH, you know your husband wanted there to be some distribution to his daughter. It would be nice if you were able to honor his wishes to some extent. There is no way to know what the future holds though. You may need all the asset financial values to support you before you are gone. Illness, long term care can all be expensive and erase estate values.
I think you will find that an attorney will tell you that while you know what he wanted, if he wanted anything to go directly to his child, he should have done it in the will for distribution now. Once you own it, you are not obligated to do what he wanted unless there is some special legal structure.
Our will states that when
Our will states that when we're both gone, our house will be sold and the proceeds divided equally among my daughter, and my husband's daughter and son.
So far, because the house belonged to my husband too, I've left her in the will as originally stipulated.
In this case, I would leave it as is, since that is what you and your husband agreed on, but I would not leave her anything else.
No, she will not feel bad or foolish over how she's treated you.
Thank you. I intend to leave
Thank you. I intend to leave things as they are because, number one, it honors my husband, and number two, after I'm gone, I won't care who has the money anyway.
My conscience will be clear. I will have honored my husband's wishes, and however his daughter ends up feeling about the way she treated me will not bother me anymore either.
You probably should still
You probably should still consult an attorney to see if anything needs to be done since your prior will sounds like it was "joint" and your husband is gone.. so you may need a new one.
http://www.alllaw.com/article
http://www.alllaw.com/articles/nolo/wills-trusts/joint-wills-married-cou...
I just found this site talking about joint wills. They are pretty rare because they actually can really limit the estate. Not sure if these are issues for you, and it is going to depend on wording I imagine.
An attorney is currently
An attorney is currently working on updating my will.
What do YOU want to do now.
What do YOU want to do now.
"If you had a joint will with
"If you had a joint will with a now-deceased person, you definitely have to go and re-write the will in your own name."
From what I am reading, this may not be possible. The OP really needs legal advice from someone who has access to the will and any related documents. I would probably think about using a DIFFERENT atty too since the one who drew up the original will may not have done a great job and may have caused her some unintended problems going forward.
From the quick online review
From the quick online review I did (see the link I posted above), joint wills are pretty uncommon these days. I believe it's partly because they can have effects that linger past the death of one of the will signors and can impair their ability to use assets. I guess one thing that might be good though is if you don't want your spouse to screw your kid, you can tie their hands. Maybe that was his goal?
We didn't have a joint will.
We didn't have a joint will. We each had a will.
I'd honor the intent of the
I'd honor the intent of the will that you had with your husband regarding the house if it was bought with joint funds after the marriage. I'd leave it split as I agreed before his death.
However, that works only if you own the house when you die. You could live a long life and need to sell the home to support yourself in an assisted living facility. Or maybe you'd like to relocate to a community of seniors.
Leave the will as you agreed, but talk to your lawyer about what to do if you decide to or have to sell the house.
I will find out if I can sell
I will find out if I can sell the house if I want to, you never know what's in the future, you might have to sell to survive...... if it's possible you are safe.
Then honor your husbands wishes with the split of the estate, only the house, your private things goes 100% to your daughter and his things goes equal amounts to his kids, excluding the house.
The estate is now yours to do
The estate is now yours to do what you wish unless there are stipulations otherwise in DH's Will that you must adhere to.
So, do what you wish. A toxic kid (bio or otherwise) gets nothing unless you decide to give them something.
I would not were I you.
Again... my condolences on the loss of your husband.
Take care of you.
Having been around a long
Having been around a long time and seen a lot regarding people wanting and waiting to inherit, I am in the class that if you can't be supportive of me in my grief etc., then the h*ll with you.
I have had friends who have actually left children completely out of their wills (when only one of the parents was still alive) because of such behavior.
They will never appreciate it but when left out they sure will kibitz a lot but you will be gone so do you really care? Do what you want. BTW, since she is a step she cannot legally go after anything you own after you pass once you get your new will made.
My Twit gets nothing from me, nor do her "babies" etc.; and I know she has been anticipating for years from the various remarks etc. she makes. Quite frankly, it is written so that my hubby, should I predecease him, cannot give her anything of mine. I just don't trust him in matters regarding Twit and my assets, and even if I did, I believe in protecting things
I'm sorry for the loss of
I'm sorry for the loss of your husband, marigold. My husband and I each have 3 grown children. We own a house, purchased after we got married. We also have bank accounts, mutual funds, etc. Our wills currently stipulate that everything we have would be left to each other. In the unlikely event that we were to die at the same time, everything we have would be divided equally six ways.
Over the years, my husband has more than supported his adult kids financially in terms of huge legal bills for one, a big wedding for another, and paying off big student loans for the other. I would have to do some serious thinking if he dies before me whether or not I would include his kids in my will. Probably not.