Adult Children living at home and social events
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I'm interested in how others manage social events at their home when adult children are still living with them. The main one I struggle with is hosting a dinner party with friends. Do you include the adult children ? If not how do you manage that ? Do you tell them to get their own dinner that night , or make their own dinner, or grab a takeaway, cook them something else, tell them to go out for the evening ?
When it's an informal dinner like a pot luck I have no issues, they are included. What I struggle with is when it's more formal and expensive, I don't feel the adult children should be included. Curious how others deal with this.
If I'm inviting another
If I'm inviting another couple, then that's who I invite. "We'd love to have you and Mr Laugh over for a couples dinner party next Friday".
I have a 19yo daughter at home for the summer from college, and I'd never assume she is included in an invitation. She did go with me as my "date" to a very informal birthday party that DH couldn't go to, but she wasn't the only "kid" there, and I checked with the host first.
If I hosted something my daughter might want to help with prep or cooking, but unless the group included people who were into her interests, I am sure she'd have no desire to hang out with us. She'd disappear into her space and do what she does.
Do you tell them to get their
Do you tell them to get their own dinner that night
No, I'd tell them to move out.
A bit of background, when we
A bit of background, when we first started dating DH had 3 adult children living at home. We have managed since living together and getting married to launch 2 of those 3, the eldest 2. The SD was particularly difficult, but we got there thank goodness, I think I would have left otherwise, she was and still is a nightmare. So now we have 2 adult children at home, my son 19, and SS25. We have had several talks with SS25 about getting him launched and currently the plan is he needs to be living independently within 12 months.
SS25 is not very social, so outside of working he spends 99% of his free time at home laying on the couch watching TV, playing video games and computer games. I cook each night, at least 6 out of 7 days and patterns are formed, he comes out when he smells food and hears the clatter of it being served. As he is more often than not at home when we entertain, how do change this, it sort of becomes expected that they will also have a share of this gourmet dinner too !
I probably just have to say, get your own tonight as we are having friends over for a special dinner. He will think that's odd as he has always helped himself before when we have had guests over. I just want to change it now cause it annoys me, I am not running a 5star Hotel, I want to have guests for dinner without including adult children who still live at home !