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How to stop feeling anger.

SilverPetra's picture

Well.....I finally received instruction that the Visa application can't progress before wife has enough income/we find a joint sponsor.
Yesterday was another day from hell.

SD12 and SS11 utterly hateful to me and Wife just sucks up to them.

Fast forward to their bedtime (which couldn't come soon enough), I told wife I'm going back to the UK. She isn't going to suddenly get a job with 30,000$, or anywhere near, because she hasn't got the CV for it, frankly.

She has just lied constantly to me, since the wedding.

I have wasted in the region of 10,000£ on this whole horrible experience.
The two step children have been utterly ghastly to me. The are resentful and manipulative, having been neglected by their mother.

I have tidied (like....'Hoarders' episode tidied...), ripped up carpets, bought furnishings, made a hovel a home, had a washing basket thrown at me, given up my job, friends and security away to get here, now I'm going to have to spend even more, at least £2000 on my Visa card, to get out of this sh1t. Money shouldn't be important, but I'm from am extremely poor background and it took me 15 years to get to the point where I was finally making a profit in the Arts.

I feel so angry with her, myself. I hated her children and they hated me. She did f#@£ all to make this work. Her life is a total mess. Her parents support her. She can't stick at a job.

I just want to be single for the rest of my life.
She's just lying here, sleeping.

Sorry to whinge. It's absolutely devastating. Being alone in a foreign country with this on the horizon.

Amcc13's picture

Ouch. This is a really rotten thing to go through and a very hard lesson learned.
But I think you are right; time to cut the losses and go? It is clearly not safe if you have things thrown at you and they may become more violent.
What did she say when you said you were going back to uk? Did she make any attempt to stop you?

You are in a horrific situation - you need to get back to uk where you will have support and familiar surroundings. The rest of this crap can be dealt with at a later date.
That being said before you leave make note of changes you made to house and the money it cost you to do so. Just in case she comes looking for money when you divorce her

Further to that, you are very hurt and angry now. Don't let that spoil your future. Don't stay single forever as a result of these idiots - that gives them far greater power than they could ever deserve

Good luck

Rags's picture

:jawdrop: smh.

Take care of you. I hope your transition back home is successful and as seamless as possible.

If you decide to stay and make the USA your home, good luck and may your current baggage remain firmly in your rear view mirror.

Good luck and the best of fortunes to you.

LikeMinded's picture

The anger is good, it can be used as energy to do what you need to do to get out of this situation.

My biggest mistakes have been my biggest teachers in life.

You will be ok.

PolyMom's picture

This totally sucks. I'm sorry. Indeed, it is better to cut your losses while you still can.