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where do i go from here

csrabbit2's picture

I need advice and I’m at my wits end. Please Help. Both my husband and I working professionals. We are faithful, logical, and for all known accounts we love each other very much. It is my first marriage and it is his second with an eighteen yr old and 20 yr old. I’m 43 and he is 38. We have been happily married for 8 yrs now with only one sore spot in our marriage, his ex wife. First let me say, I am not a jealous person, i hate drama with a passion, and until 3 wks ago I had all the faith i could ever have in my husband. his ex-wife is bipolar, narcissistic, VERY CONTROLLING and i believe, as well as many others, borderline psychotic. Very very very drama driven and sadly his biological child has also turned into a drama queen. I understand that she is crazy and that he is still young and finding his way, so PLEASE don’t get me wrong. I have gone above and beyond the wife duties by "befriending" her, shopping, girl chat, chatting about our days etc. with none of the normal bs that goes with exwife/new wife.(i mean seriously their divorce was 19 yrs ago) ok so by now you are asking so whats the problem. well did i mention she is crazy and as crazy always will do, she went down crazy street dragging me kicking and screaming. since then she has been making INSANE demands against me and my husband and his family. the problem from all this lies in the child who is completely brain washed and poisoned by this woman and has picked up her narcissistic views of life. she has always used the children as a weapon. my husband has had to kiss this woman’s ass for 19 yrs and hates her but he is VERY good at sticking his head in the sand and also hiding his true feelings. what all this boils down to is, if the crazy one is not happy then child is not happy and refuses to have a relationship with his father. my husband and i have had the "talk" and i was informed that if i want A, and she wants B, he will choose B, in order to keep the child happy. i am floored!! This "child' is now an adult.im losing faith and trust in my husband. My marriage is the most important thing to me and i dont want to lose it. the same can be said of my husband love for his child. i have always understood it would be race for first in my husband heart with the child but now im being told i'm actually placing third. I can't see around this. so please if anyone can offer any words of advice please post. besides a felony (mmmmmmm) im willing to do anything except be second fiddle to this nutbag. thanks in advance