This is my first post so a little background. My boyfriend and I combined have 4 children, 2 each. In our home full-time we have my 5 year old daughter, my 9 year old son, and his 13 year old son. His younger son, who is 7, comes every other weekend.

His 13 y/o came to live with us full-time year ago, rather than every other weekend, when his mom was having a difficult time with behavior issues. It was mutual decision and was entered into the court to basically flipflop their previous order- she would have him every other weekend instead. This was a wonderful change as he was desperately struggling with school and was not receiving the support at home necessary to improve. My boyfriend works second shift, so I do homework with him. Due to how far he has fallen behind this is at minimum 2.5 hours every night usually closer to 3. We were getting along great, had a few struggles with honesty about having homework, but with his dad's constant communication with his teachers to keep him accountable and honest, we came a long way. I feel very invested in him and take great pride at his school successes, get nervous for him the days of tests, etc. I could tell he was feeling it as well because he would be proud of himself and tell me things like he raised his hand in class and having answered correctly. Not wanting to give credit where credit was due, when he shared a great test score with his mom, she asked him if he cheated. I felt crushed for him though I knew this was a shot at us rather than him because in my opinion, us having success where she didn't irritates her. It was insulting to all the work we had both put in. He ended up passing 4 of 5 classes, which is not something I would ordinarily celebrate, but this was coming from years of failing every single class.

His son had moved in during the middle of a school year and his school is about a half an hour away. My boyfriend drops off and picks him up every day, even having to leave work for the pick-up portion. Prior to him moving in with us after school he went to a relatives of his mom's house right next to the school until he got out of work. For some reason she told him that was no longer an option when he moved in. Seeing as this was a mutual decision to have him move in with us, I cannot explain it other than just to make his life more difficult. My boyfriend found a charter school near our home that not only would make the logistics easier but would be a tremendous opportunity. The student to teacher ratio was half, they assign to coursework appropriate for where they are at academically rather than strictly by grade level, if grades fall below a C- there is mandatory after school tutoring. Just perfect for him. When his son learned of the school change coming for this year all the manipulation games started.

He told his mom he wanted to move back in with her and how terrible our house is, it is not clean and he only has ramen noodles to eat every night. First, my home is not pristine, but it is not dirty. Shoes may not be put away, laundry may sit folded and not put away for a day. Life. As most teenage boys are, he is a dang slob so the audacity of pretending to place such a high value on a spotless home was baffling to me. Second of all, I cook dinner every single night no exception. He often will make himself ramen noodles (which now are no longer bought for our home due to this) or cereal before, during and after I am cooking which always irritated me to no end, but thought oh well he is a teenage boy, they eat a lot. I am mature enough to see the situation for what it is- he is a teenager and this was going to be a major change and all the emotions that go along with it and he, by any means necessary, is trying to stop that change from happening. But this hurt me deeply. I bust my butt.. every day I work, I get my kids from daycare, get home, make dinner, clean, and do hours of homework. I am the one to do all of these things, so it was hard not to take it personal. To sum up a longer portion of this, his mom showed up on the very first day of the new school and pulled him. He knew she would be coming, though he maintains he didn't- c'mon, he wore different clothes under his uniform, asked his dad not to come into the school with him and told him where to drop him off. Right now as they share legal custody this is going to be decided in court so he is back at his original school.

I have never met his mom is person, truly nor do I care to, but she nitpicks everything I do. This week, she came to pick him up and called my phone- he was already heading out the door as he saw her pull up so I didn't answer. I didn't suppose she was calling to speak with me but to say she was at the house and she made a huge deal about it to their son. He came home and said did my mom try calling you Thursday because she just thinks its really weird that you wouldn't answer. Maybe this is me being sensitive, but I can feel that I am being talked poorly of and he in turn now is borderline disrespectful to me. I took him to get his haircut and she criticized where I took him, if we buy clothes they're always the wrong size.. I could go on and on.

I went to look at a cottage with my mom, came home from work first and told him what I was doing, about how long I would be gone for and even invited him to go along, which he declined- he then in turn called his mom, his grandma, his dad saying he didn't know if something was wrong and had no idea where I was- notice the one person he never called was me, because he knew exactly where I was. His dad does call him out on his BS.

He is on this almost power trip because the manipulation game worked. In example, this weekend they came home after spending the night up at his grandfather's house and he says "Dad, did my laundry get put in the dryer?" knowing damn well his dad wouldn't know as he was gone with him and I would have done it. I snapped, " and why wouldn't that be a question you would ask me?" That is not something I do but I am tired of it. If he wants something from the store, he says, "While she is at the store can she get me..." ASK ME!

I feel like I am walking on eggshells though I have done nothing wrong.

I should add this is not a case of him is having a hard time adjusting to his parents being apart or his ex's jealousy of me. They were apart since he was under 2 years old, so it is normal for him and it has been a long time.