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Ugh the SMELL

ihateholidays's picture

I just can't understand how a 15 year old and a 13 year old can NEVER shower and NEVER wash their clothes. They smell so bad! I dropped them both off today at different places, and my car smells like homeless person. Rank limp hair and greasy zitty faces. It drives me crazy.

I am disengaged with that part of stepkid life, not my problem. My two bio-teenagers shower every day and wash their own clothes and bedding once per week. I've taught them this over the years, and yes, have had to stand over them while they do it (now it's automatic).

But I can't possibly ask my step kids to actually lift a finger. Even if it's to clean themselves. I am just TOO MEAN. Ugh. But the smell... :sick:

CloudCuckooLand's picture

Yes, the freaking smell!!!! Ugh, I literally have PTSD over the stench of SD's hair when I was pregnant four years back. At first I thought it was my pregnancy-heightened sense of smell but as the summer visit went on the smell of her hair filled the whole freaking house. She never washed her hair, *possibly* a rinse in shower so she stank like a fetid old dog with a skin disease. I would open my bedroom door in the morning and could smell her rank hair as she sat in the living room in the floor below. The couch seat she liked to sit in just stank, DH's truck stank, her bed was more than I could stomach. What really got me was that she came from BM's smelling like that, had just started summer break - how had this not been addressed??? I can't imagine that BM, GBM, teachers, peers etc hadn't noticed and said something. I was disgusted that she was allowed to live that, it was just freaking neglect.

DH was totally embarrassed at first then the stench got him too. He told her to wash her hair and she lied, refused, tantrumed and avoided all summer. It took me over a week to get that stench out when they left. Cleaning. Saging. Airing. Bleaching, Steam Cleaning.

That summer she was struggling with us being pregnant with our first. I understood that. However, she got downright mean and vicious and said some disgusting things that wished harm on the baby. So, her dysfunction and the stomach-turning stench got totally coupled up to the point that every time I smell even slightly fusty hair, I feel total disgust. It's like PTSD.

ihateholidays's picture

I know, I don't hate these kids - well, not all the time }:) - so I don't want them to be the "smelly kid". I just don't understand why they aren't embarrassed about it?? Teenagers can be cruel, why set yourself up for more torture than you need to?

KittyKatMomma's picture

I would refuse to allow them in my vehicle

Point blank
"Husband your children smell like swamp ass and tainted tuna-please have them properly bathe with soap and hot water...and while you're at it-tackle their laundry and bedding at the laundromat"

My SD was 8 or 9 that summer she refused to bathe all summer....Bm and I would fight with her constantly to get her to shower-finally I had no choice but to wrestle her ass into the bathroom and douse her in body wash and soap-yeah she still had clothes on-but that was a huge help
(yes BM knew)

SD threatened to call the cops on me for abuse-so I did it for her.
The local cops came out and told her if she didn't bathe they would have BM take her to the hospital where they would force her to bathe
(Dh and I knew the cop personally and I told the officer to be real with SD)

if all else fails-just generously spray the Febreeze or Air Effects
worked wonders for my mom with my smelly ass brother

Aniki's picture

your children smell like swamp ass and tainted tuna

OMG, I just snorked water out of my nose!!!

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Don't allow the skids in your car, and tell your DH exactly why.

WTH kind of father lets his kids walk around stinking??

ihateholidays's picture

I usually don't drive them anywhere, but I have a lighter schedule in the summer and am trying to extend olive branches when I can. We are pretty separate in our parenting right now, which is hard living in the same house, so when I can, or when I have the energy, I try to make nice.

I'm not sure he can smell them? He doesn't seem to have a good sense of smell. In any case, I need to say something, it's driving me nuts!

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

Sadly you could be right about him not smelling them. Either he's not close enough to, he's use to it, or like you said his sense of smell just isnt there. Could be a male thing. Sounds bad but when I had mice I didn't recognize the smell until my mom came over one day. It's not that it was dirty just that they have their own smell.

Acratopotes's picture

spray them with bug spray.. citronella does not smell to bad....

I would simply not drive them around,

SMforever's picture

Be direct with them all....look, as long as you reek so badly, you are not stepping in my car. Surely these kids must be noticing that even their friends avoid them? I think being vocal about it is the only way to get the ssue in the open.

I did this with my SS25 when he started wearing a horrible musky smelling aftershave. I told him, look if the smell of you makes me ill then surely it has the same effect on your colleagues. If for no other reason, stop wearing that crud because it will impact on your social and professional life. At first he dismissed my comments, and DH said I was being silly. Later, apparently SS admitted to DH that I must be right because a GF had dumped him based on his personal odour,

Some people just don't have as sensitive a nose as the rest of us, but it is no excuse for being a dork.

Recently I picked up DH from a guy trip and he asked if I could give one of his buddies a ride. I had never met the guy, and when we shook,hands he reeked of poop. OK so they were coming back from camping...but still...so before he got in the car, I made him wait while I put a drop sheet on the passenger seat. There's no way I'm sacrificing my car for,some dude who's scarfing a free lift, DH was embarrassed and my response was, what do you care what some reeky guy thinks of me? Turned out the guy was a cheating husband who was living in a boarding house because his wife threw him out. Booya. Now Imgotta wonder why this guy is DH's buddy!

Rags's picture

Don't let them in your car or house until they bathe. Give them a bottle of dish soap (Dawn if you like... it is gentle enough to degrease animals who are exposed to oil spills) direct them to the back yard hose. No exceptions. They are either clean or they do not enter your expensive assets. They can scrub their clothes while they are scrubbing their bodies. The clothes can dry as they wear them and they can stand outside until their clothes are dry.

These are not toddlers or young children. These are teens.

Good luck.

KH4573's picture

That is disgusting. Have you thought about the reasons WHY they don't want to wash their ass? Depression, sensory issues, or other mental illnesses sometimes affect personal hygiene! It is unacceptable and I can relate, my SD never washes her hair or face. Or clothes. Or teeth. UGH

DaniAM73's picture

SS15 isn't much of a bather. We were out a while ago and his armpits smelled like chopped onions. I also noticed the last time they spent the night he literally turned the water off and on when he took his shower. Now SS12, he is all about being clean and smelling good.

rose1979's picture

tell your dh to have a word with them.... what if someone thinks these kids are not taken care off and call social services! at this age they should know!

tell your dh you don't mind helping and driving them but the smell makes your stomach turn/ so no rides till they smell like normal human beings! set a shower/bath routine and dh can make sure it is followed.

kcbonline's picture

My SD18 stayed with us for the entire summer and only bathed twice. She slept in a finished basement with a washroom but wouldnt wash her clothes. DH had the nerve to get mad because he wanted me to take her shopping and I told him to make her comb her hair. She over to visit and her and a girlfriend hung out in our rec room. I walk in there to find my phone charger and the entire room smells like coochie. Smh

TwoOfUs's picture

My YSD is a grease-fest, too.

Annoying when you buy new furniture and the first thing that happens is SD lounges all over it, lying her greasy head on the armrests and picking at her crusty feet. So gross.

Rags's picture

Time to apply some accountability to your taxi services. They don't get into your vehicle unless they are freshly bathed and in freshly laundered clothes.

PERIOD! If they refuse the conditions... they can walk or take the bus. End of story.

Not mean, just preserving the asset value of your car. Simple, direct, unemotional and non-negotiable.... IMHO.

Good luck.