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Two-Faced or am I "too sensitive"?

Invisible91's picture

I find it interesting that, last year, SO's daughter (then 15), would ignore me or otherwise give me unwelcome looks when she interacted with me until, one day, I just snapped (in private) and told SO that I was downright fed up with the rudeness and that I was even considering moving out because of how "unwelcome" I felt in the house.
SO got upset and asked her daughter, while driving her back from an activity one night, if she disliked me. According to SO's description, her daughter appeared, to quote, "genuinely shocked" when she questioned her about me and apparently had "no idea" I felt that way...I kind of found that a bit hard to believe...

One afternoon, I was cleaning her daughter's bathroom and she accidentally walked in while I was about to scrub the counter with Pledge. She didn't seem to acknowledge what I was doing OR thank me for this, and I ended up blowing up later on, telling SO that I didn't get a word of "thanks" from her for doing this. SO mentioned this to her daughter, to which her daughter replied: "I didn't even KNOW she was cleaning my bathroom"!...Note: SO has always bragged about how 'smart" and "observant" her daughter has always been, so her apparent inability to notice what I was doing kind of contradicted that.

Anyway, after that night, SO's daughter has usually been more careful about smiling at me. Of course, she still fails to address me whenever she comes or leaves, but she is generally more cordial...I find it interesting how it went from cold to warm so quickly. Was SO's daughter even AWARE of how she was treating me or is she really less thoughtful and perceptive than my SO has always given her credit for...

I roll my eyes whenever SO brags: "Oh, daughter is so observant", or, "Oh, daughter is so friendly"...She's friendly when she WANTS to be...

notsobad's picture

I'm sorry but blogs like this bug me.

You are upset when SD ignores you and then DH talks to her. She now smiles at you and it's interesting how she went from cold to warm?

Sometimes I think these kids are damned if they do and damned if they don't.

If you want her to be nice to you then when she is just accept it. Don't read anything into it.

I know there is so much more to it than this but really, when you get what you think you want, just accept it, don't judge where it's coming from or why it's happening.

Invisible91's picture

Thank you! Last year our therapist slapped my SO on the wrist for confronting her daughter about her behavior, claiming that she was "making daughter feel guilty"...It made me SICK, especially because my SO is already a guilty parent and feels caught in between me and her daughter...I fucking hated the therapist.

Stepcreaturesonly's picture

Not that it's relevant, but she. Not DH. The poster's partner is a woman. Not relevant but just a bit annoying to read all the answers ignoring pronouns and making assumptions. Smile