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Sibling Rivalry

LAMomma's picture

How do you guys handle this? The two I'm having issues with is DD8 and SD6. SD6 seems to be very insecure and constantly feels the need to throw things in my daughter's face. Like with clothing "Oh, well you don't have THIS dress" "You don't have a my little pony this or that" etc. Honestly my daughter ignores it for the most part, it's not real important to her but it bugs the crap out of me. I know this is normal behavior with kids but how do you deal with it? I don't have this issue between my DD8 and DS3 so I've never had to handle it.

Another thing and kind of update.. SD6 last time she was here for visitation was sprawled out, laying on the couch and on her Dad as usual. She randomly started rubbing his stomach then worked her way down to just below his belt line and the start of his jeans. It was a forced interaction and she wasn't idly doing it. When he spoke up about it, she didn't stop and he had to tell her to knock it off. It freaked him out. I just silently laughed and later tried to bring up what I had observed/noticed and of course he got defensive. He took it as "OMG, is she doing this with someone else?!" and took it to the molestation route which I don't think is happening because she would show signs elsewhere and she isn't.

LAMomma's picture

She's crazy and I wouldn't doubt she saw it with BM. This is the same woman who moved a man she barely knew into her own home with the children, broke up with him before court then after court moved in with a different guy into his home that she had only just met. No telling what they have seen.

We did ask her if she has touched anyone else like that or been touched like that by someone. Went over that it wasn't/isn't appropriate.

LAMomma's picture

I never said she did or does. I'm just saying they've been subjected to a lot of different things and lifestyle changes recently so nothing would shock me.

I personally do not think anything is going on nor does he realistically. It simply freaked him out in the moment. I've made posts in the past about this same child getting upset or pissy when I sit next to her Dad. She constantly has to be hanging on him, sprawling/laying across him, etc. She just needs boundaries and to be let known this isn't ok.

LAMomma's picture

I didn't say inside his pants.. I said lower stomach around the start of his jean line. You're reading into something that isn't there.

LAMomma's picture

Hmm, good idea.. I thought about threatening to throw it out if it didn't stop also but I think the letting the other person have/wear it would have more of an impact. We do this with toys sometimes if they're using them to tease so not sure why it didn't click I could do it with other objects also.

SweetMom's picture

Sounds like the sd doesn't feel like she's part of the family. You just should sit her down and explain to her that she had another family more than what your dd has so she probably will have a little more than her and that is your dd permanent home. Now if your dd ever went to her house and compared items it wouldn't be fair but that is not the way it is. As far as the rubbing your h stumach..sounds like she feels she can't win a fight with your sd over issues or you since you are the authority figure so now it looks like her next results are to play mini wife role, watch out because that's next...stop her in her tracks before it escalates. It was wrong so don't let it go!

LAMomma's picture

We're both divorced so they both have two households. We only get his kids every other weekend currently. My kids spend 90% of their time here and this is their primary house so of course they have more clothes, toys, etc. His girls have birthdays coming up in October so they will get more stuff for our home, perhaps that'll make her feel more comfortable and not so insecure.

She's gets very moody/pissy/withdrawn if I go sit next to him on the couch while she's there trying to cling for dear life to him. She'll usually wander off after I sit or lay down, pout, he'll ask her what's wrong a few times then she will eventually come back.