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Teenager doesn't want to come on scheduled visitation

Priestess's picture

Anyone face teens not wanting to visit on scheduled time anymore? How have you handled this?

baseballgirly's picture

This is everything I'm praying for!!

I pray that my SOs kids want to stop coming to our house!! Why does it seem like you're complaining?!?!?!?!?

napamom's picture


feduplilme2015's picture

OMG.. why did I just crack UP out loud in my office when I read your message.... This is so true. I would LIVE and would LOVE that!!!!

StickAFork's picture

When SD was 17, she was a ROYAL pain in the ass. Mind you, she was a pain in the ass long before then, but she hit royal status at 17. Smile
She and DH had an issue because of her disrespect, and he told her to go to her mother's that night. (I don't agree with that.)
She SWORE to everyone who would listen that he "threw her out" of our home.
Then she refused to come. DH was going to force it, then decided not to. The GAL even stated that she didn't have to come when she turned 18, so "why bother." (That's a direct quote.) Welll, then, why do we have to pay CS after the snot turned 18, then?
Oh. THAT's RIGHT, court order only apply to NCP fathers. Duuuhhhh.

Bottom line, it didn't get forced.

Jsmom's picture

Yes and it is bliss when they stay away. Why want a kid around who clearly doesn't want to be there? SD16 did this the minute she turned 14 and sued us to live with BM. Well we let her go after a drawn out court mess and honeslty life has never been better.

sandby's picture

I have two teen stepkids (13 and almost 16) and both refuse to follow the visitation schedule. This has been going on for nearly 2 years now and we’ve been to court 5 times about it and nothing has happened. It’s so infuriating that the legal system refuses to enforce their own legal rulings.

This summer, the judge admitted that his ex was in contempt of court, but basically refused to do anything because, in his words, it is causing undue stress to the kids and causing a negative impact. The kids say their lives are being disrupted because their dad is harassing them, trying to kidnap them and trying to have their mother arrested --- yes, it’s called trying to enforce his right to parenting time. Their mother is in contempt of court and should be in jail and the kids should be scared because they are violating the law. The family court here is more concerned about how stressed the kids and their mom are over violating the law than actually making them follow the custody order.

His attorney says there’s nothing else he can do. I've been trying to find other solutions since this is absolutely unbelievable. If my husband didn't pay child support, he would go to jail, but they do nothing to enforce his rights to visitation.

RedWingsFan's picture

I did the happy dance when SD14 decided she wanted to stay full time with her mom! HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nana2's picture

My SD 18 is going into the army. This last month, she has been with HS (half-sister) 4 hours away. She's got to come back for 1 week before deploying for boot camp and refuses to stay with us. Guess who's doing the happy dance. We are. She is soooooo disrespectful, mouthy, loud, vulgar, etc. So now we don't have to put up with her. Yippppeeeee. I am happy. Sad cause she feels she's told us off and where to go, but in reality, we are the winners. LOL. She can live her life the way she wants and then when she needs DH, he won't be there for her and he's told her so.

Good ridance. Sad to say but I'm saying it!

sandby's picture

It's strange that this forum is stepmoms who can't get the kids to visit and stepmoms who can't get the kids to leave.

IronRose's picture

Ha. Been to both places.

1st BM wouldn't let us see the skids, now she's lost custody & needs to have supervised visitation.

My skids cannot live with their BM b/c her husband is charged with abusing them. I miss the eow bullshit we used to go thru. Wink

From one extreme to the next.

Most Evil's picture

How did we handle it? Simple, we put our wallets away and actually lived and enjoyed our drama-free lives. :evil:

steptwins's picture

Lucky You. I got the reverse: skids don't want to BM. Ever. And BM doesn't care. Ever.

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

Once the SK's become teens they have a very active life at their primary residence/neighborhood. They don't want to be disrupted and all they care about are their friends during this time in their life. Perfectly normal.

Teens are a pain but they are PEOPLE, not pets you own. If they don't want to come, once they are teens, don't force it. They will come around when they are ready.

Plus SM's everywhere can have a break from the drama.

Rags's picture

IMHO kids don't get to choose to visit or not. They visit as ordered in the CO and by the NCP or they are marched to the car by their ear for the visitation.


The only visitation that is skipped is one that the NCP chooses not to take.

SunnySkies's picture

I would handle it by popping the champagne. SO has had the same visitation schedule since they were 5 and 7 - now 16 and 18. Ugh.