I am so glad to hear I am not the only one feeling this way. It makes me feel like I am a horrible person to have such feelings but it is good to know I am not alone.

I have 2 Girls (10 and 7) He has girl SD16 and SS15. I have been living with DH for nearly 4 years now. We are NOT married or even engaged. He isn't ready he says. I am still trying to figure out why I continue to put up with the crap from his kids when he won't even committ to me. I also believe his non committing to me is why the kids keep their walls up. He already got roped into remarrying (yes round two) BM "for the sake of the kids" so he is refusing to do it again. UGH.

Why do I do it? We have a great relationship when SD is not around. SS is not usually a problem when SD is not here. SD controls the house when she is here. Skids were not living in same state when we moved in together. THey only came for Summers and some holidays. Thought I could handle that easily. Just after we moved in SD (at age of 13)decides she can't live with BM anymore so she wants to come live with us. She has a tendency to runaway from her problems. She was running away from her mother, her new husband and the baby she just had that was the new husbands child. One night stand baby.

She stayed with us for a few months then ran back to mother because she was depressed and was not getting 100% of Dad's attention. THat is partly his fault. He did not know how to balance his attention between me and her. It all went really bad when BM and New Husband moved to same county as us. kids go back and forth between houses and there is a lot of manipulation and sneakiness. We live in town BM lives 30 mins outside of town. We get treated like a hotel and SD seems to think she can come and go as she pleases. DH doesn't know how to address.

Mom gives too much freedom to SKids. TO the point that SD mad some really bad choices and became depressed when friends got mad at her and refused to associate with her. She ended up being baker acted. DH is now seeing how right I was all along yet still has no idea what to do. He has severe conflict anxiety. She is a shy girl and not really a bad person. BM has issues but isn't the worst either but gives way too much freedom. BM buys her kids off alot.

It doesn't have to be this bad. If DH would address the little issues as they arrise they would not pile up and blow up like an atom bomb. But he refuses to address little things and then she continues to push and push then it all blows up. I have finally stood my ground and said she can no longer stay here until she learns respect for others in this home. I told her in rage the other night she doesn't deserve a room here, she needs to pack her things and go. She did leave. DH is sad and afraid she won't ever come back yet admits things are calm when she isn't around.

My girls have to share a room becuase we hold a room for step Kids who RARELY come over. I am tired of sacrificing for them and getting no appreciation not even from the DH. I also paid to go on vacation for spring break. It went very well until we got her home a little late for her baby brothers 4th bday party. She never said thank you and sent a nasty text message to dad that she was not going on vacation this summer. DH didn't address as usual.

I say he can have a relationship with her outside of this house anytime he wants. She is welcome back once she apologizes for her behavior. THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN!

SS is coming tonight and I am making his favorite meal. He has never been disreectful. A little distant and more when SD is around at same time but never disrespecful.