SD blatant disrespect for SM. She uses "mean girl" tactics in our relationship.

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My 13 yo SD of 2 years has some "mean girl" tendencies. She's now bringing that kind of behavior into our "bonus relationship."

In an attempt to shut down any kind of negative/manipulative environment, I want to tell her that A) I realize she doesn't like me that it's normal to feel that way and I'm okay with it C) regardless of how big/hurtful her actions/words are, they won't break her dad and me apart and D) it's alright not to like me, but she needs to treat me respectfully.

Is that a good idea or could any response from me fuel her fire and encourage her unhealthy ways of coping with unpleasant feelings?

Her father should be the one

Her father should be the one to tell her all of that. Then it's clear that he will not tolerate the behavior, that he's backing you up, and that she will have consequences for treating you this way.

I 100% agree with this.

Have a pointed talk with her.

Have a pointed talk with her. Don't over intellectualize it.

Be direct, be clear, be succint and .... lather, rinse, repeat as you apply escalating misery inducing consequences for her manipulative crap. Make sure to get her father to give the same message.

I think that giving her clarity and sticking to that message consistently any time she acts out is a good plan.

Good luck.