Question

tamugrad94's picture

I have a question: if the people on here that have bad SD/SS could do it all over again, would they marry the spouse? If not or so, why?

oldone's picture

Yes - because my SS is an adult. Fortunately I found this site fairly quickly.

DH has backed me up once I realized what I needed to do.

Unfreakingreal's picture

I'm not sure. I really love my DH.
If I KNEW that his kids would probably end up living with us? Like knew it from the GET GO? No. I probably would have walked away.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

I would have to say no, but that is because we have other issues as well. Dealing with my SD just adds more fuel to the fire! The issues with my SD are in many ways things that draw out the other things that are already a problem with my husband.

RedWingsFan's picture

Definitely! ONLY because DH put his foot down with SD14 early on though. Yes, we've had major problems with her, but had he not grown a pair, I wouldn't have lasted 6 mos with him.

dacejk60's picture

I have what most consider a good SD and while Im not married to him (he keeps asking) I would not go down this road again. Maybe if I didnt have, nor planned to have BK's but I do. No. It's so frustrating. I resent so many things on any given day and end up not even liking me sometimes. I dont know what "success" might be after its all said and done but honestly, likely the nicer and more fair minded you are, the more difficult it will be. Not trying to be a downer and I could just be selfish but NOT ME. If this doesnt hold, if there is a next one, only men w no kids or grown kids for me.

Love51's picture

I love this.... "It's so frustrating. I resent so many things on any given day and end up not even liking me sometimes." My SS14 brings out the worst in me and I dont like how I feel. I'm really working on that.

Knowing what I know now, and before I fell in love.... Nope, not a chance.

Solarium1's picture

I'd still do it, but I would have definitely handled certain situations in the past a bit differently. I spent a lot of time trying to work WITH BM and co-parent because well...isn't that how it's supposed to go? I spent a lot of time trying to mold my own behavior in the hopes that she would see that since we were being civil...she'd be civil.

Yeah eff that. Given the chance to do it over, I would have told her to go eff herself from day ONE }:)