A lot of responsibility

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Hey everyone I'm new to this just looking for some advice really I have been with my partner for 2 years now and she has a daughter from a sperm donor which was done with another woman... She is 10 years older than me and her daughter is 11... I'm a chef I work 12 hours a day 5 days a week... I do the school runs every morning after a 12 hour shift getting home at midnight... I do a lot for her and I'm feeling like leaving as I feel I have no more to give and that I'm taken for granted... Don't get me wrong I love them both they are my world but why am I feeling so unappreciated all the time my gf is so snappy and I can't do anything right I'm always tired as I do so much

Please give me some advice

I just feel like I'm being

I just feel like I'm being used etc I do everything it's always me dojng stuff like romantic etc she's never done anything for me

So sit her down? And say I

So sit her down? And say I need more done for me for once

I just want to feel loved

I'm feeling so lonely

Right! Just because you

Right! Just because you aren't high maintenance doesn't mean you are no maintenance! You need to tell her that FLAT OUT, "I need some special attention. I need some TLC here." People aren't mind readers. If you've expressed this to her, that's one thing but if you haven't... and I don't mean passive aggressive, but adult to adult. THIS IS WHAT I NEED FROM YOU! Then you should and if she doesn't take your needs into account then, we will have to rethink this.

and it sounds like you've been the giver for awhile now and she the taker but right now you need her to be the giver and you the taker! Let's see if she takes an honest open discussion about what you need and takes some action to show you some appreciation and TLC! If she doesn't ......

Hello, I'm a fellow stepmum

Hello, I'm a fellow stepmum with a wife. It's all rather hard - do you feel like you are a glorified babysitter?

Yeah that's totally how I

Yeah that's totally how I feel it's like I'm only there for that we hardly sleep together etc I crave affection and don't get it much... My step daughter is turning nasty also she said I make her sad... All because I won't wait on her hand and foot as she's 11!! She said cuz I told her the password wrong I'm nothing but a lier I dunno whether I'm coming or going

There are all sorts of ways

There are all sorts of ways to help with what's happening. How serious are you about the mum? That's all that really matters. You can achieve anything if you are on the same page. It sounds like she is neglecting you a bit. Have you been together long?

P.S., the people's on here are brilliant. They'll help you through anything. It has made me feel so much better. It's easy to feel alone, but you can find out what is realistic in terms of what everyone else has to say.

I just want to feel loved and

I just want to feel loved and yeah I've spoken to her before about feeling being taken advantage of etc she swore things would change by they haven't I don't want to come across like I don't want to do anything for my step daughter but it's feeling more of a chore lately I just want to sleep as I'm shattered from work I'm having stress from work as they need me to do more hours as I'm one of the top chefs butt she won't let me saying its work or them etc

Has she got a short temper?

Has she got a short temper? Are you scared to discuss it? Why can't she share the school run? It is her daughter. As much love as you have for the child, you can't sacrifice your career. Would she expect it from a boyfriend? I think women expect more from other women, and everything moves so quickly, it's easy to get caught up in a situation you feel stifled in. You must renegotiate your time, for your own sanity, otherwise you will get more miserable. You deserve a career and a life. It is her child. Don't feel guilty.

She works 8-10 in morning

She works 8-10 in morning then 3-5 in afternoon so she doesn't do none of the runs she cleans but it's not like I don't either I work 40 odd hours and I'm shattered there's only so much I can take she is very smart with her words and can turn anything around on you

The answer is very easy: she

The answer is very easy: she needs to change her shifts so she can look after her child. 4 hours of work?! When you do 12? Nope.
My wife has a smart mouth, too.
Put it down on paper. Her hourly rate, yours. She needs to find a different job that fits with the school runs. You do not need to feel bad about that. This is a partnership.

Just feel like I'm doing

Just feel like I'm doing everything and I'm not happy no more as feel like I'm a slave

She controls the money etc

She controls the money etc when I question it she says I know where the bank card is

I really think you need to

I really think you need to consider leaving her to it, unless you can regain control. Open your own back account. Keep your money separate. Look after you.

I have got myself stuck in a tricky place, too. It happens.

You deserve love. You can find it with someone who loves you back. Using you is not love, it really isn't.

If you stay, you must regain some autonomy. I think you said she was older; you don't need to do what she says. She is your lover, not your mother.
Separate bank account.
She needs to look after her child more.

I do feel like her child

I do feel like her child sometimes she's always telling me what to do I used to be so independent etc these days I find myself questioning actions I do and asking her!! I want to be loved and have that's can't keep hands of each other feeling we had when we first met but I doubt we can go back now

I think you knew the answer

I think you knew the answer before you asked the question.

There are so many people to love you, this isn't right. She is controlling you, you will keep feeling more trapped.

It's only two years, you are young. Go and find someone who loves you back.

What if I don't find no1

Yes I earn a lot more but am

Yes I earn a lot more but am never aloud to spoil myself she's always saying save save save when you have a home n child you need to.... I earn the money so shouldn't it b me choosing what I spend it on?

At this moment she has all my

At this moment she has all my money in her account she sorts finances I've mentioned this to her before and her reply was I'm not stopping you using the bank card etc but we need to save etc... I never have money on me as its all in her account... My boss is getting arsy as she's always on to me about my rota but my boss needs me for more hours etc I've lost myself

I haven't gone to work today

I haven't gone to work today as I'm not well... I've arranged to get her brother do the school run even tho I'll get it in he neck when she gets home now but I've been sick etc I'm not wel

I've got my own back she said

I've got my own back she said it will be easier if I transfer the money into her account to sort rent and all... She pays the weekly rent out of her money and my wages are council tax and living expenses etc she's always got money on her as he boss pays in cash rather than bank I've hardly ever got money on me and have to ask for bus fare for work... She then moans when I need money for taxi as I finish late

I already have my own account

I already have my own account but she said it's easier if I transfer it all... She will be home soon prob get shouted at as I didn't do the school run as been sick

You need to take control of

You need to take control of your life and I suggest that you seek counselling to understand why you put up with being treated this way. You will learn a lot about yourself in counselling and also learn how to manage your relationship (meaning make it right again or getting the f out.... which I suspect will be the latter).

All I am hearing for you is

All I am hearing for you is she said this and she said that- what about what you say? What about what you want ? Why are you letting her control you like this? She is taking all your money and having you do all the hard lifting with child and yet tomorrow she could walk away with all your money?
I actually want to bash my head off a wall in frustration with you.
Please please please start doing what everyone else here suggests : keep money separate give her the money to cover your share rent grocery whatever and no more. If she complains say : well honey surely your not with me for the money???

And from now on tell her you won't be doing the school run - like why are you so afraid of her I have to ask? Or I was sick and I got her brother now I will get it on the neck ? It sounds like you are being bullied in your own home.

So far I see financial and emotional abuse- how long till it turns physical ????

Take your money back, take your life back and get out !