FSD13 completely hosing her counselor
:jawdrop: }:)
So. I usually just blog but. Today posting here instead. If you want my history click on my bookmarks.
So. FSD13 is a well know drama queen, thin skinned brat most of the time. Anything taken to her dislike will send her yelling at you in defense mode and stomping out of the room and slamming her door screaming "shut up!!!". Comments about a tv show, someone's hair, a joke made by a comic on tv.. a presumed sideways glance.. all sets her off.. if my daughter gets into a good conversation with one of her grandparents, a friend on Facebook.. instant pissed off mode..
So, after her counseling session last week where her suicide threats and more " flirting " with 18 yo boys was addressed again, counselor wants to talk to my FDH WITH her about some things.
Short story, we come to find out she's got this therapist completely effing SNOWED. The lady has NO IDEA who this girl is.. so.FDH tells me ( without divulging too much of course ) that according to the counselor, FSD goes there and uses her entire sessions to cry and lie.. BITCH and moan about me ( I don't even live here?!) about her Dad and and how mean we are because we " don't care " about her... Ummmm. She also continuously brings up that she's so nice and innocent and she doesn't do anything to deserve to get yelled at or in trouble. Says her dad is always calling her a snot (?) and that she hates me, I'm such a b etc etc. So after telling the counselor in private and VIA email that SD is always chatting online with older boys, has had computer and ipod taken away in the past for it, that she has threatened suicide over trivial and non trivial things .... the counselor looks and my FDH and says " this is not the same sweet girl that comes to see me. She's so great and kind..."..., ok... so lady... tell me how you're NOT going to address premature sexual behavior and suicide threats when there is a HUGE issue with these at HOME with her AND her Mom was a prostitute ( started young ) AND two people have attempted with one success , suicide in her family...
My FDH came home and told me he cannot believe this counselor thinks these are non issue and says " she's completely got her snowed".
He also said that his.daughter (missing 40 f o r t y ... assignments) also continuously brings up MY 14 yo D stating " must be hard to be so PERFECT!!" because she's made honor roll and drama club lead..
My FDH said he snapped back during the counselor/ therapists interrogation of him and looked right at SD and said "YOU need to get thicker skinned! We are NOT all walking around on eggshells around you because everything including other peoples opinions and successes Pisses you off"... then he confronted her in front of the counselor and said " if SM is so bad and mean like you keep saying, how about we get her in here to tell her side?"... SD immediately shut up he said and said "nononnonono she doesn't need to come here its fine"...right because if I did, your pity party as your own dad calls it, would be OVER child..
Anyhow.. as FDH was explaining this, I got a tad defensive and said " I've been with you for FOUR YEARS and we don't live together BECAUSE of this.. FYI, for.the record, I REFUSE to go to counseling with her. I'm TIRED of her using everyone else as a reason and.never being accountable for her own feelings. ".. it felt So GOOD to yell that...
So what DOES this amazing therapist do during the sessions?? Pat SD on the back and tell her she's so great and wonderful and enable her crappy attitude and bad rebel behavior?
FDH said he's going to wait and see but he feels like it might be time to find a new person for SD to.see.. someone who will listen to her but steer her toward being accountable and telling the truth etc.
Yep, SD here has been
Yep, SD here has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. She's such a good liar! I dread to think what she's told counsellors about me...LOL. Fortunately for us the entire population of the juvenile detention center here KNOWS her. Probation supervisor said, out loud too, 'she lies like a dog!' Attorney warns her about it!
Thing is she's so damned 'plausible' at times that we have had to remind her about the 'boy who cried wolf' and Karma will bite her in the ass one of these days.
I got counselling to help deal with her, court ordered family counselling because of her record with them. The best advice I got was 'do not get into a pissing contest' and maintain calm exterior. Thing is with these kids they are very animalistic and can sense unrest...I had to tune my mind to inform my body that I really was not insulted or disturbed by the taunts and barbs. I stopped responding so predictably and if she said something really nasty I'd ask her to say it again because I did not catch what she said. It was an instant change! She realized that I was onto her and she stopped trying to manipulate me!! Every now and again I'd give her a 'look' that said 'behave yourself girl!' DH was delighted with the change in the atmosphere at home. He speaks up now if they disrespect or defy me, he never did before then. I was resentful but then I realized that I am the only one who can really stand up for ME! He can help me out with it all but I am the one who has to assert myself.
The whole therapy business is
The whole therapy business is a scam.
Every therapist that SD15 has been to is the same way - they believe her crocodile tears and lies. She is never the problem. She’s always the victim. Nothing is her fault. The fact that she had a troubled childhood and was abused excuses all of her behavior. They don’t see her for the hateful, entitled little bitch that she is.
I know she’s been telling her current therapist that I hate her and I forced her out of the house and that her dad keeps abandoning her and doesn’t love her. The therapist believes her hook, line and sinker and thinks DH and I are evil monsters.
None of her therapists have called her on how her behavior is the problem and how she is an entitled brat with no empathy for others. The first therapist we took her to had a meeting with DH about me and all the problems I was causing for SD15.
The only way that SD15 is going to have any chance of being a decent human being is if someone confronts her about her behavior and shows her what a worthless piece of garbage she is and how she needs to change because SHE is the problem.
But no one will do this and the fact that therapists are telling everyone around her that she needs to be continually coddled and that only how she feels matters continues to delay her facing reality.
DH asked me to fly up to go to a family therapy session with SD15, but I’d rather pull my fingernails out than go deal with that kind of setup. Anything negative I say about SD15 will just be used against me at this point.
IMO, therapists don’t care what the truth is. They just want to keep making money on therapy sessions.
There's a big difference
There's a big difference between professional psychiatrists, less capable psychologists, and therapists who only have M.S.W. type training. What are the credentials of this therapists. Two of my friends actually became shrinks. Both treat adolescents. From what they tell me, there are a lot of bad shrinks out there, but good caring ones do exist. It's just that no one can help someone who is unwilling to be honest. They have to be able to believe what they're being told, they cant guess what is true or not. Plus she might have said something to the doctor that's a big revelation and explains things, but may not share that info with parents because of privacy laws.