VERY common indeed. In my case I never married the biodad (THANK GOD ), but the PAS was almost instantaneous from the BM and clan. They were little monsters right out of the starting gate.

I don't think it happens to everyone by any stretch, but all of us are here for a reason. Most of us are dealing with the craziest of the crazy. In my case, both of the skids (6 and 11 when we met) loved me. They loved when I came over. We spent time together, played together, talked about everything. After we got engaged and I moved in, same thing. They really liked me and I really liked them. BM didn't seem to have an issue with my existence. I even asked her if she's like to meet me so she could know who her kids were spending half their time with, but she wasn't interested.

After the wedding, once it was "official," it was like her bitch switch had suddenly been flipped. The PAS began. She told the kids lies about me and their dad, said I was going to hurt them, said my son and I were replacing them in their dad's life. She told SSthen8 that DH was "abusive" and taught him certain phrases to use while in our presence: "I can't handle the pressure." "Your standards are too high for me." "You're infringing on my rights as a human." Bullshit that you know wasn't coming from an 8-year-old's mouth. She even waited until just a year ago to reveal that DH isn't really SS9's biological father, which was confirmed with a DNA test.

Today, ExSSSTB10 is no longer in our lives. SS15 still spends half his time with us, but he rarely interacts, especially with me. Granted, my case is pretty extreme, and things may not change with you after you're married. I'm just sharing my experience.

The PAS has begun this year as our wedding date is drawing near. SS9 I'm sure has talked about it at home with BM since he's very excited to be included in the planning and the ceremony.

BM has cut off phone communication between DF and ss9, not allowed CO parenting time and told SS9 outright lies about us.

Ahhhh. Let the good times roll.

Minimal probs with BM. Just the basic thinking my DH should fix her dead battery, just this morning texted him how to set up her cable? etc. Nothing too big with her. She actually likes me. Everyone tells me so and she has given me no reason to disbelieve it.

SD was 12 when I met her. She was curious about me. Then she was affectionate and playful and open with me. Then we got married and I swear she has been out to kill me ever since. Oh, she adored her dad at the age of 12, too. After about a year of him not doing what she wanted (apparently to kill me in my sleep and have my corpse shipped out before dawn), she is now out to hurt him in every way she can think of and shows her contempt for him constantly and loudly.

I want to say to her, "what kind of 'love' is that? apparently you never did love your dad cuz you couldn't have stopped loving him that fast and for that reason."

my SD13 turned into a total twatwaffle as soon as we got engaged.

As you can see, yeah, it happens. I do want to offer some hope though - it didn't happen to me. I got along with the kids (and BM, as far as that goes) fine both before and after marriage. Not that we didn't have issues, but this particular one wasn't it. FWIW, I think it honestly helped that I EXPLICITLY told both the kids and BM that I had no interest in being "Mom", and that I wanted to be a trusted adult in their lives but that I also wanted no say in "parenting". I was more like the "favorite aunt", and for us at least, that worked well. PAS wasn't our problem. (Now, lying little children trying to start fights between their mom and dad so they could use it to their advantage? Talk to me about THAT one.)