My wife’s daughter is breaking my heart

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20049 year old stepdad I’ve been in a new relationship with my wife for five years and love her and her kids but it has become very difficult for me the last 8 months I have spent the last 4 yrs nurturing a healthy relationship between me and my 16 yr old SD I have been their for her emotionally and financially she has no real connection with her bio father until recently I’ve spent so much time money and effort on her trying to show her to value herself and raise her self astern so she can have confidence in herself. I mean I have paid for and take her to her ballet classes cooked meals with her help with her homework , craft projects , trip to places she wanted to visit nice clothes and shoes but her things that she never would have otherwise my wife was raising her with very little help from her dad I mean all the things I have done with my 2 daughters that are grown and married 29 and 27 to try to be the best stepdad and now since she has started talking with her bio dad she doesn’t see me in the same light and has thrown or given away most of the clothes and things I have bought her and even craft supplies $200 she decides to ditch the project. I try to be patient with her because she deals with anxiety and takes meds which I don’t judge her for I deal with my own anxiety differently but she has started to exclude me in her life little by little and the relationship that I worked hard to build is being flushed so I feel like I’m done and her mother caters to her every request she is home schooled does no choirs she won’t even clean up after her dogs or get up to get herself food because of her anxiety it’s become a nightmare

love my wife very much maybe I just have to except that we are no longer close

Teenagers are the worst in

Teenagers are the worst in general. - You raised a couple, you know.

Teens are also trying to figure where they fit in the world. With a bio-dad in and out of the picture, she isn't sure what she is supposed to do or feel. Couple that with anxiety that she has, and everything you are saying makes sense.

If I was you, I wouldn't give up on her. It sounds like you guys have a solid foundation. In time, she will come back around and appreciate all you have done.

My stepdad adopted me when I was 7. I was horrible to him as a teenager. I wanted my "real dad" and my mom and him were just keeping my "real dad" away from me. (If I could go back and smack myself upside the head I would, believe me!). I was angry and hurt and didn't know all the details. However, me and my Dad (my stepdad) are super close and have been since I got out of high school. (My biofather... well, he is a giant piece of crap who should be back in prision but isn't). My stepdad, the one who adopted me, he is my Dad. He is my kids Papa. He is the only one that matters.

I am not saying that her bio is like mine, maybe he's just not good at being a dad. As she becomes an adult, especially a parent, she will realize all you have done. Give her space but let her know that you are still there. That is all you can really do right now, as much as it sucks.

Thank you that’s what I’m

Thank you that’s what I’m doing and I myself as stepkid growing up I had a terrible childhood so I’ve been the total opposite of what I experienced to her she is a great kid I think also since her older sister moved in she kinda sides in with her but none the less I will continue to be here for when and if she needs me.....

Unfortunately nurture does

Unfortunately nurture does not always overcome nature and occassionally the influence of a shallow and polluted gene pool cannot be purged.

Hopefully this is just a polluted genetics flare up rather than a full blown bloom of toxic genetic influence from her POS waste of skin SpermDonor.

I was fortunate. I got my son early enough and raised him as my own to some success in avoiding him going down the multigenerational abject character failure path that is universal in his SpermClan.

Good luck. I hope the two of you can normalize your relationship.

I know it is heartbreaking when these things happen. I had a few fortunately short heart break events when my SS would go SpermClan in behavior.