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Autism

Mommabear222's picture

Submitted by Mommabear222 on Sat, 01/09/2016 - 4:28pm

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Step Kids with Disabilities

I have a mildly autistic 12 year old ss who is very violent and rude and it feels like he does things on purpose to get the rush of having me angry. I also have a severely autistic bs who is 5 and they are half brothers. I have a hard time with excuses being made for the ss and yet my bs none are made. The 5 year old is non verbal and I still do not let him get away with too much. The 12 year old talks and also is very mouthy. He is way worse with his mom and in school than with us. Currently we cannot have him in our home due to we are staying with my family. My question is how do I tell his mother and father both to quit the excuses or in 6 years he will be in big trouble! They both loose it when I bring it up.

Last In Line's picture

Submitted by Last In Line on Sat, 01/09/2016 - 5:02pm

He's your SS. Give input if they ask for it, otherwise let them parent or fail to parent. I would only get involved during the violent episodes, and that would consist of calling the authorities if his dad won't deal with it some other way. You will make yourself sick and crazy trying to change they way they deal with their child.

notasm3's picture

Submitted by notasm3 on Sat, 01/09/2016 - 6:44pm

One - do not talk to your SS's mother under any circumstances. That way you do not have to listen to her half ass excuses. You should never be in a position to even hear her excuses. Just inform her that her son is not someone that you care to have in your life any more than necessary. And then tell her to "STFU bitc#".

As for your DH - tell him that you will NOT tolerate violence from ANYONE in your home. period. His allowing his son to hurt you or others in your home is just as bad as if he decides to beat you up himself. There is NO excuse for tolerating violence in one's home. And of course that applies to your child as well.

Think twice about EVER allowing any violent child in your home or life. If his violence can be curbed then - okay. And it almost certainly can be with proper treatment. But that is not on you to arrange.

You do not have to care about what he is like in BM's home. Who cares if he decides to beat the shit out of her on a regular basis. What happens in her home is her problem.