Bad hygiene
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I'm so frustrated. My step daughter only receives a shower and changes her clothes when she is at our house. Tonight, we picked her up, yet again, in the same clothes she wore yesterday. She admitted to not having showered since last week when she was here. I'm fuming and he just doesn't say anything to her. What do I do? I am doing everything I can to keep myself from calling her and explaining that it's NOT RIGHT !!!!
The worst part is, I take it out of the seven year old when I am pissed at her mother!!!!!
Help!!!!
OMG! She's not to far from
OMG! She's not to far from having BO, if her parents don't want to tell her- someone needs to explain that girls do stink and need to shower!
We have the same issue with
We have the same issue with sd's! When we get them they SMELL!!! They're 8 and 5! Bm NEVER washes their hair, and I doubt she bathes them regularly!! How else does a little girl smell that badly??
We have the same issue with
We have the same issue with sd's! When we get them they SMELL!!! They're 8 and 5! Bm NEVER washes their hair, and I doubt she bathes them regularly!! How else does a little girl smell that badly??
That's nasty, try not to take
That's nasty, try not to take it out on your sd as it isnt her fault. Her bm should be making sure she is bathing. If your dh doesnt do it then tell him either he does or you will. That's what I would do with my SO
Not to mention kids are gonna
Not to mention kids are gonna start picking on her for being the smelly kid.
Thank you... It's just
Thank you... It's just frustrating. She's the kind of BM that doesn't do anything. Her homework doesn't get done durin gher weeks, she doesn't shower, sometimes doesn't even change clothes. And her idea of breakfast is a cookie. It's so frustrating.
My SO's ex is a *public
My SO's ex is a *public health nurse* yet the kids still come to their dad's dirty and unkempt, with filthy faces, hair and nails. The worst part is that SO doesnt even notice. It falls on me ( and I don't even live with them FT) to see that they have a bath and body and hair are properly washed before bed. I often get backlash from SO telling him that the kids need washing, like I am interfering with his parenting, but I put up with it for them and their well being even if I get dirty looks or comments. They actually love getting in the tub! SO has a shower every day, but he cant seem to get his head around the fact that his kids need daily or near-daily baths too.
SS7 positvely *stinks* sometimes, AND he has hygene related skin conditions to boot! Over the Christmas holidays, he came to us (after 10 straight days at his BMs) with an angry red itchy rash all over his genitals and perineum, he was in obvious discomfort, but I had to get after SO *repeatedly* to discuss it with BM and get some ointment for it, AND I took heat for it. He seems to think that if nurse BM doesnt think its a problem , its not a problem,. Her nonchalant response? - "oh its a bacterial infection because he doesnt wash himself properly". WTH?? where the heck is she when he bathes? How is it that she could let that happen?? The kid is seven, he still needs supervision or he just plays around in the tub. Nonetheless, she dropped off a prescription for him.
Last week, on SO's weekly night with the kids, SS7 came to sit on my lap for a snuggle, and I got a whiff of his hand- it smelled disgusting. I asked him if he had been scratching his bum and he said yes, so we marched together to the bathroom and he washed his hands, after watching him just run hands under the water, I showed him how to do it properly and made a game out of it, ( now he counts to ten in french while he lathers them:) After his bath, we had a conversation about yukky germs and handwashing and what to do if your bum is itchy and he was interested and attentive the whole while. It was a positive interaction, my SO even thanked me afterwards, but honestly, how the bejaysus is it that *NURSE BM* is not teaching him these things?????
And the nails.... I have no idea if BM even owns nail clippers because if I dont look after it, she will let the kids nails get long and jagged enough to break off and split, lacerating socks and skin with accidental grazings. One weekend I gave SD4 a temporary tattoo of a rainbow on her hand. A week later when I saw her next, it was still there- a filthy black unrecognizable gummy patch of total grossness. It was like BM had not washed SDs hands ALL WEEK. I can only shake my head sometimes......
I know I am ranting, but he most frustrating part of this is that my SO does not see it- he thinks the sun rises and sets on BM as a mother, he will never trust his own judgement, or own eyes, let alone my feedback.
Wow!! That sounds just like
Wow!! That sounds just like my DH's ex-girlfriend!! My SDs are now 6 and 8. We fought for custody of them and won. They would come over after a week at their BMs and say they didn't take a bath all week. Their entire little bodies would smell so bad, as soon as they got out of dad's car, they were marched to the bathroom immediately! That woman NEVER cut their nails, cleaned their ears or washed their hair! NEVER!!! To make matters worse, I caught both of them in the bathroom wiping after pooping, from back to front, repeatedly with the same piece of toilet paper! :jawdrop: I about had a heart attack!!! Their undies would be caked with new feces on top of old feces. They went in the garbage! I just had to ask my DH, "did your ex ever shower or wipe her own ish?!?!" They both had constant rashes and UTI's. Here we are, 2 years later, and it's like engraved in their brains! My SD8 forgets DAILY to wipe after using the toilet. If she's home, I'm constantly reminding her of the bathroom routine: wipe, flush, wash hands. My SD6 wipes after peeing but not after pooping and I STILL catch her wiping back to front. I have to babysit both of them in the shower to make sure they actually wash down there and last week I watched SD6 wash from back to front, again! So frustrating and disgusting!! I feel like the Panty Police!!
I have a 15 SD who still
I have a 15 SD who still doesn't bath or brush her teeth unless she's at my house and I remind her. Same is true for the SS11. BH doesn't seem to remember to remind them either. Not sure how they managed when they were together.
Anyway, SD15 has braces that are scheduled to be removed Jan 2013. I'm sure we'll be paying for some expensive whitening treetment to remove the train tracks on her teeth from the braces and lack of brushing. I can't imagine what this will cost us.
its frustrating. BM did the
its frustrating. BM did the same thing with SD and SD is now 12 and has to be told to do stuff as simple as brushing her teeth, wash her body, or hair, etc.
You can't do anything about
You can't do anything about what happens when the child is with BM.
You can make sure you and DH are on the same page, and as soon as you get her, she gets a full shower. And her father needs to sit down with her and explain that it is unhealthy for her to not take care of her hygiene, and she stinks when she goes that long without washing. This must come from her father, not you. He can teach her how to do a TPAF (tits, pits, ass, feet) washing, with a washcloth in the sink, so she can at least do that when she's not with you.
Beyond providing her with a safe secure environment and good example and reminding when she's in your home, there's not much you can do about what's happening in her other environments.
I had to teach my SDs how to
I had to teach my SDs how to run a bath, wash with soap and a washcloth and wash their hair, in hopes they could do it at home with BM. I wound up having to call CPS on her when my SD8 came to us with a bleeding UTI and our SD6 would come to us when she was a baby/toddler in filthy, bursting diapers with her bloody skin literally peeling off when wiped with a diaper wipe. I took pictures and included them in our declaration for our custody battle. The judge looked at BM and said he saw the pictures and was just mortified as he shook his head in disgust.
It's so so so sad that these women are allowed to reproduce. We now have full custody of my SDs and since she can't claim them both for food stamps or tax returns, she's planning on having another baby with her meth-head BF. 
Someone PLEASE take her uterus!!!
yikes, sounds like everyone
yikes, sounds like everyone is dealing with a BM that has no clue.... makes you wonder what her hygiene is like...which makes you wonder why our spouses: their ex's ever got close enough to create the skids.
I have the same problem with
I have the same problem with my stepdaughter. Last weekend she came over smelling like bm. My husband and I literally have to tell her step by step instructions what to do in the shower because if we don't she won't do it.