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I Can Help You Figure Out What BM Is Thinking :)

BM-Buster's picture

I am your local friendly BioMom. Hello Y'all.
I was mindlessly searching the internet when I came across this forum. (We do tend to do mindless things.)
What I saw made my blood churn!

All these horrible Stepparents looking for advice on their Stepchildren while they bash these poor little innocents.

I am a BioMom and I can help you understand what we are thinking. There needs to be a voice for BioMoms on this forum to express our viewpoint. I also happen to have very well adjusted stepchildren. So I am a StepMom too. This dual role does not mean I have a spilt personality! Oh no siirreee Bob! Goodness No!

Let me help by giving my opinions - so that you can change your opinion of BioMom as psycho or cray-cray!

So when you have a problem with BioMom, give a real Mom a call.
Remember now y'all: who are YOU gonna call??
BM-Buster Wink

Simzeez's picture


I have just got onto this site.... and find your post very interesting.
It's not like we all haters, we had to have gotten to a certain point to even google "step parent support" ....
If you read my newbie post maybe your mind will change about certain BM... I am aware not all are like that but man of man I have the KRAKEN.


I find it extremely difficult to give constant energy,love and sacrifices just to be tossed out of major decisions and be completely disregarded and "I am their mother" line really what am I? The friggin aupair 'cos I sure dont get paid and dont have any "me" time or even a break.. .... its not always so black and white Smile

I have three step kids, the twin babies I love to bits and they cant help their situation and I know they do not try and make it difficult for me, i think they just get confused between two households and different rules and standards.. even though I have had them since birth.... my mind still battles with that one but I can understand that it is very confusing and unsettling for them

The eldest I also care for but man oh man oh man can she be mean. Not just to me but her father too and vindictive. And I have never ever done anything but try to give her a stable environment. But no she just tries to toss everything in the air and makes things difficult. So yeah I would love some guidance as to how the hell to deal with all of that.

PS - Read my newbie post to understand Smile

Disneyfan's picture

First a teen girl, now a mom.

I wonder what the coming attractions are.

A SM and BM who admit they cause problems.
A dad who admits he wants a nanny he sleep with.

Rags's picture

Welcome aboard. There are many STalkers that are both SMoms and BioMoms. The problem is that your experience is primarily only relevent to your specific sistuaiton though your experience may provide some good perspective for others.

Jsmom's picture

These are trolls....The girl was weird enough, but now this one. Starting to think it is the same person and we are being played...Don't fall for it ladies.

JustAgirl42's picture

Yes. I would like to see if she actually comes back to 'help' any of the posters that had some questions (whether legit or not). I certainly have some, like:

Why doesn't BM allow SD to call her dad, even when it's court ordered?

Why is BM ALWAYS at least 20 mins. late for exchange, sometimes up to an hour or more?

Why is BM unable to communicate ANYTHING to FDH, even through email??

Why won't BM take her daughter to her soccer games which she loves??

Oh boy, could I go on!

Orange County Ca's picture

I believe almost all of the step-parents posting here have children of their own. If you're interested in the "status" of a individual you can click on their name and see what they wrote about themselves. Welcome.

misSTEP's picture


anotherstep's picture

Blood BOILS. It does not CHURN. That is stomachs. Silly woman! You can tell us what BM is thinking but can't get a basic metaphor straight? ROFL

BSgoinon's picture

Hello there BM-Buster,
I am an SM and a BM. I have a well adjusted StepSon, and 2 well adjusted bio-daughters. I have a supportive husband, and a pretty strong grasp on reality. You know what I don't have??? A CLUE as to what the eff you are doing here.

I can tell you EXACTLY what BM is thinking 99% of the time. She is thinking about herself. Phew, got any more brain busters?

JustAgirl42's picture


THAT is the answer to all of my questions, (OP didn't answer them for me). BM is only ever thinking of HERSELF!

RealityChecked's picture

I am new to posting but catch on quick and I can see veterans think you are troll... but I will play anyway.  I assume the world is full of well adjusted step families who don't have crazy dysfunctional dynamics going on, and we never hear from them.  And I assume that this sight is for the people who do have crazy dysfucntion going on and they need a place to vent.  Just like all step mothers aren't evil - all BMs aren't crazy.  And most of us are BMs too.  Just as a way of keeping myself in check I try to be honest and ask myself if I am actually the crazy one at least once a week.  So - if you are a well adjusted BM with well adjusted kids and step-kids you probably don't have very much advice to give anyone here because you will never understand our situations.  

My Question is - could you do the world a favor and find a sight for the crazy BMs - and provide your insight and guidance to THEM?  Start with what you do to support your own bio kids in having a happy and funcational relationship with their Dad and their StepMom - I assume if you have step kids your kids must also have a step mom.  How do you help them break loyalty binds....  How do you keep them out of all the financial issues.  If you have a job explain to all the crazy BMs how as a powerful successful woman and mother with a job you take pride in financially supporting your kids and refrain from treating your EX- husband like an ATM and refrain from teaching your kids that they are entitled to by supported by him for their rest of their life. 

Your insight and advice could be used by many people - but probably not the people here. 


strugglingSM's picture

Can you help me understand why the BM in my life puts herself before her children...every.single.time? Why she would rather try to make my DH (her ex husband) look bad by not keeping him informed, than ensuring her children have what they need? 

Can you help me understand why she feels that it's okay for her to involve the children in her juvenile, emotional rants about my DH (their father), painting him to be the bad guy because he doesn't do whatever she wants, even though he's a great dad and loves and supports his children? Can you help me understand why she is so willing to tie her children in emotional knots, rather than be a big girl and manage her emotions on her own? 

Can you help me understand why it's all about money and why BM will lie to claim that DH is "traumatizing the children", because he "is not friends" with her, but then when she gets more money, all of a sudden the children are fine and no longer need the counseling she threatened to take DH to court over? 

Can you help me understand why she feels so entitled to control everything that goes on in our house, while simultaneously demanding that the children keep everything that happens at her house a secret? 

Can you help me understand why every conversation with her has to become a big dramafest, even if DH is asking a simple yes/no question? Why she has to prolong the conversation by asking the same question over and over and over again in different ways, even though DH has already given her an answer? Why she will lie and use manipulation to get what she wants rather than being straight about what she needs from DH? 

Can you tell me why everything has to be about her...even DH's recent hospitalization?

Can you also tell me why this lying and fraud continues into other aspects of her life, so it's not DH causing it? 

If you can answer all those questions for me, then yes, I would love for you to help me understand biomoms...