husband yells at me when i yell at stepkids
So yet another day of getting disciplined by my husband in front of my kids. Step daughters went to their moms yesterday. And of course everytime they come home, I get an attitude and disrespected. That is how their mom allows them to act towards her so they come home thinking its all good. Its not! I don't play that! 11 yr old SD this morning is rolling her eyes talking back and raising her voice at me. Talking over me etc. So I simply told her if she didn't stop with the attitude I was going to spank her. (Which is fine bc I only do it if she really needs it.) I ask her to stop brushing her hair bc I normally do it and she was tangling it up the way she was brushing it from back to front and side to side. (She has extremely curly dry frizzy hair.) She instead stomps in living room and grabs a different brush and starts brushing it again. I told her to sit on the couch. Then my husband comes down stairs and she huffs and puffs and stomps up the stairs to her room. So he gets mad at me and asks what happened. I tell him she's mad bc I told her to stop with the attitude bc she was talking back. He gets upset saying I'm always yelling at her etc etc. Whatever! 10 mins later we r ready to leave for church and she grabs a ratty stained dirty sweater to wear. I nicely ask her if she has a different sweater to wear. Nicely bc I didn't want to further anger my husband. She again huffs and puffs. Well that put him over the edge. I'm mean to her I always yell at her I'm never nice to her why don't I just leave her alone. I'm like r u serious!? All I ever do is care for these kids. I pick em up I make dinner n do their laumdry and make sure they have a mother seeing as how their own mother doesn't want much to do with them. But I'm mean?! He always says stuff like this in front of all 4 of our kids. Always! To me it makes them think if they don't like when I discipline them all they gotta do is make a big stink n daddy will yell at me. Its ridiculous! They have no respect for me! They like being around me when I'm doing stuff for them but if I need to yell at them or let them know they are wrong, its over! They hate me n I'm always mean. I don't get it! What am I supposed to do? I've tried talking to him a million times but he only sees it as I'm mean. I feel like I can't yell at his princesses at all. But I CAN be their mom-that's ok. But no one yells at his girls! So frustrating.