We've had SS (15) for a year, but just got the paperwork naming us custodial parent. Now BM had no issues signing SS over and told our lawyer she didn't want to go to court. So case closed we now have custody. This whole time we had an open door policy on visitations even though she only requested one weekend, and getting her to visit him that one weekend was like pulling teeth. Now that we requested assistance (which with her income works out to $80 a month) she suddenly says she wants him every weekend because she doesn't see him enough. Yet 3 months ago she told our lawyer that monthly was fine and it was impossible for her to travel more than that.

This whole year we've had SS we have had to put him in therapy because he has depression issues from being at his mother's. He also spent some time in a hospital because of his depression and now he is diagnosed with a learning disability and is in proper classes, which he wasn't in before because noone cared to have him evaluated, but living 3 hours away and her completely shutting us out of SS's life we didn't know his problems.

Here is our problem now is she is calling him (SS) complaining to him about all the money we are taking from her, and we are taking no money from her now, the only thing we get is the child support that we paid no longer is coming out of DH's check. And furthermore that's SS's money not hers. We have occasionally asked her to help pay for lunches here and there for a week or so in which case she just laughs and says "that's never going to happen". Which if she would have paid for even one week of lunches per month a school year we would never go after her for support. But we have hospital/doctor bills piling up for him.

My poor SS has been through enough with her and now she is making it worse calling him telling him he is the reason they are poor and their cars are going to get repoed. That's kinda a lot of weight to be putting on a 15 yo's shoulders. I have told him to hang up on her and not to talk to her if she does that but no matter how innocent the conversation starts she always turns out into something about money.

This last visitation he had with her she told him they can't afford to buy him good food so they bought him easy mac and ramen noodles and every day he got one pack of each and if after eating those he was still hungry he needed to find food at friend's houses. Yet her, her boyfriend and her oldest boy and her 2 daughters all ate normal food and whatever they wanted right in front of my SS.

I don't know if we are going too far getting support from her for such a little bit but I figured that little bit of money will help pay his doctor bills, or cover his school lunches. I just don't know if I'm letting my anger towards her force me into pushing this issue or if I want to be the better person and walk away. Half of me wants to say let me adopt my SS, you leave him alone unless he contacts you and keep your money! My concern will always and has always been for the safety and security of my SS.