Just will never get it
I come on this site every once in awhile just to not feel so alone in my own mind when it comes to adult step kid issues and disengaging. Lucky for me, I have been disengaged with my husbands daughter for over 2 years and as a bonus a year and a half ago she moved states away. She is 27 years old, and pregnant with her 4th child, and 4 different fathers!! She has not talked to her dad for in a very long time because she hates that he is still with me and my kids and I can guarentee you that is the only reason. Right before Christmas she sends him the ultrasound picture and says here is your new grandaughter. That was it. He later called her and said she was just short and rude with him. I am shocked she even answered as usually his calls and messages just go ignored. I guess I should be happy that the rude bitch is not even in my life at all, but I do know that it bothers my husband that he has almost no relationship with his only child and I know he misses his grandkids. I try my best to just not even think of her at all but how do people get so messed up that an adult child can't accept the fact that their parent is with someone else. I have been through it all with her, the rude stuff, being ignored, never acknowledged, when I did buy the kids gifts in the beginning it was "go thank grandpa, give grandpa a hug" even though I was the one who purchased and wrapped it all - so yes it feels great to be disengaged now. I just have these random moments of wanting to send her a damn message myself, for example she once told me I just want you to appreciate my dad, I never had him with me and he is here doing this and that for your kids - I just so bad want to say - why don't you appreciate the fact that you have a dad who wants a relationship with you but you only want to call when you NEED something. Not all of us have a dad so why don't you appreciate that you little bitch. And I would love to say a few more things to her as well - however I just know it would never be worth my time, and honeslty I prefer the peace - but just every now and again I would really love to give her a peice of my mind.
Keep up with the Disengaging
Disengaging I am sure has kept you sane and it truly is a bonus that she has moved far away.
My adult skid24 hates me, for no reason other than I exsist. He is the only child of my DH and I dread the day he has his own children because skid I am sure will use them to get more money and as a weapon to get DH to do anything he wants. It sounds like you are lucky that your DH does not bow down to her especially when there are grandkids involoved, I don't think mine will ever have that strength.
I would get the same treatment as you, if I did something nice for skid, all the thanks goes to DH like I don't exsist. I am ignored, treated rudely and nothing I do is ever apprecaited. I no longer go out of my way to do things for him. The only reason I have tolerated as much as I have because it is my DH's son and his only child.
Like you, it will always bother me the way he treats his dad who has done everything for him, how he treats me and that is such as a$$hole. Too bad mine lives in the same City and somewhat in my house currently, that will be changing very soon since he had a melt down during Christmas dinner. Disengaging can't wipe away past actions and take all those feelings away.
I am with you, I would love to just tear a strip into my skid and let loose everything, but like you I know it is not worth my time and the extra drama it would stir up. You are right the peace in your house is worth not going there.
I don't understand why there is so much drama with some adult step kids. I really believe skid has a personality disorder My kid is 22 and never behaves that way to me, my spouse or my exDh's live in girlfriend, he would never behave the way skid does.
Hang in there and remember there is so many of us that totally understand exactly how you feel.
Same situation with response
Same situation with response to anything nice I do for skid. I've pretty much stopped because it wasnt appreciated and seemed to create a loyalty conflict for her in regards to BM. The last thing I bought for her was a hat and gloves that matched her new jacket. Stuck her nose up at it and then the next week came back from her moms with a slightly different "better" hat and gloves. A few weeks ago ordered a pizza for the kids on a no school day and she sat there sullenly picking at it and barely ate one piece. Dad gets home and gives her a leftover piece of the exact same pizza and she gets over the top fake excited and goes on and on about how much she loves pizza and thanks daddy. I told my DH that things like that make me just not want to ever give her any type of gift or even treat and his response was well that's fine you never bought that much for her anyway.
Thank you
Thank you - that is exactly what I get from this site. Validation that we are not alone and there is something wrong with people!! My kids also treat my husband, kind and with respect - something I taught them to do! That is one thing my husband always says, I never raised her to be this way - yes we know where that all stems from!
She is even worse than
She is even worse than my son's SpermIdiot. He has 4 all out of wedlock spawn by three different baby mamas, two of those baby mamas were underage and he was in his 20s when he perpetrated statutory rape against them. Sadly, none of the parents of the mollested young women he spawned with, as well as several others that he did not spawn with, had the balls to press charges. Including my ILs.
My SS-26 is his eldest and our only. Eventually my SS asked me to adopt him and has written off the shallow and polluted end of his gene pool.
4x4, takes on a whole new meaning when applied to this crotch donor. If I was creative enough to come up with something better than SpermIdiot to describe my SS's DipShitIot SpermDad I would.
4x4. That is classic. I would suggest throwing the word "Rental" in front of the 4x4.
smh.