Ss13 lives with us ft and does EOWe with bm. If something happened to dh, I'm. It sure she'd even want him - unless of course she could receive some sort of social security payment as a result, then she might.
Assuming that didn't happen, I always wonder I he'd stay with me or go to sil.
I wouldn't be expected to as I doubt BM would even consider it. I also doubt the kids would be too fussed about not seeing me - we so get on well but have not exactly bonded ,we're in each others company a lot so have no choice but to get on.
However ,thinking about it ,I do have their half brother and sister which I know they'd want to see but think it would be taking them to their mums ,not them coming here. It wouldn't bother me if I was expected to carry on visitation as they're all good kids and are at that teenage stage so pretty much look after themselves !!
Even if DF were to end up with full custody, if he died, I'd hand the girls over to someone in his family. Then they could battle with BM and/or her family over custody.
I thinking having custody of or regular visits with former SKs would put a huge strain new relationships. Can you imagine dealing with your SO's BKs AND former SKs he refuses to cut ties with.
When my father died, my SM didn't abandon us. She still calls me on my birthday and on DD's bday. My DD3 calls her Nanna.
And she was around during the tween/teenage years. And I was a real jerk! But she still loves us. So based on her example I would still want to see my SS7. I would at least call him on his birthday and to check in on him once in a while.
Since my SS is 21 and a viable adult this pole is a moot point for our family.
However, he is my son and I would continue to be his dad if heaven forbid my wife were to pass away.
If his mom had passed when he was a minor, I would have battled the Sperm Clan to their last resource to maintain custody of my son. It would have bankrupted them and certainly would have cost me plenty but I would have done it none the less.
If his mom and I had co-deceased when he was a minor our entire estate was to be held in trust for him until he turned 40 or completed a Bachelor's degree from an accredited college or university whichever came first. Our executors were under strict instruction to ensure that the Sperm Clan got not a penny of benefit from our estate while SS was a minor and to pay for his university studies and living expenses for no more than 5 years after graduating from HS.
This was our method of parenting and countering the toxic influence of the Sperm Clan from beyond the grave if it had been necessary.
My family were all very committed to gaining custody if something had happened to his mom and I.
Fortunately everyone was spared that nightmare. Most importantly SS was spared the nightmare of being raised by his toxic toothless moron Sperm Clan and did not have to be primarily influenced by the shallow and polluted end of his gene pool.
I am actually going to fight for residential custody- we have a very sizeable life insurance policy on DH just for this. BM is a horrible, violent, detrimental, and mentally unstable person. She is on and off supervised visits, and it is so bad. We have a plan in place, I dont necessarily think that I will win, but I will try. Sks have lived with me and DH for 6 years so far. If I can not win, MIL will file and then transfer rights if possible. We have a few ideas with our attorney.
I'd still have a decent chance. In the CO it actually discusses BMs family basically staying out of parenting decisions. There have been a lot of issues with them as well. But it explicitly lists them out as needing to "allow birth parents to make decisions" and to keep them out of parental decisions- I think is how it's worded.
I would probably still try to have some relationship with SS through grandparents (DH's dad adores me) but I wouldn't do visitation.
PLUS our visitation is based on DH's work schedule so it would be kind of hard for BM to demand someone to take him when DH wouldn't be working - He has him 15/21 days he is home to ensure time rather than the normally EOWE most merchant marines get stuck with and ultimately lose time because if the weekend doesn't fall when they can get off the boat.
I hope I don't ever have to make that choice, but I would want to. He calls his stepsister his sister, they have grown so close and he has another half sister. He knows that I love him (I have grown over the years to do so) and would miss him greatly.
Now, whether BM, Ms. golden uterus, would allow that is another story!
DH and I talked about something like this one time and he mentioned that he hopes I would still see SD if something ever happened to him (I don't think he meant support her, but just to still be a part of her life).
I might see her occasionally but it definitely would not be a regular thing.
I DID take my step son from my previous marriage for awhile for visitation. Problem was the mother/son bond dissolved pretty fast and as his dad wasn't really taking responsibility as a parent I watched my former step son's behaviour take a real nose dive. When the ex lost his job and ended up basically homeless I took ex step son in for a short period of time...I would NEVER do that again. I think we used to have a fantastic relationship but it was 3 years after his dad and I broke up at that point and I just didn't know this person anymore. He took advantage of me and after trying desperately to get him back on track and responsible for his actions I gave up. I finally told him "move to your moms or you're out on the street." Went to his moms and then she kicked him out too.
I think now done is done. If current SO and I split there'll be no looking back to him OR his child. It's probably less confusing to the child in the long run anyway.
I personally would try to keep visitation with SD. Not for myself,but for her. If something happened to FDH (God forbid) she still has her 3 half siblings I would like for her to stay in touch and still grow up knowing them.
And BM is a real piece of work, I would hate to see how SD would turn out without a positive female roll model in her life.
So yes, I would keep visitation with SD... Mainly for the kids though.
Eh, I'd do it until it inevitably petered out. As far as everyone knows I'm a devoted stepmom and we have a "beautiful family". Honestly though I'm dying inside and the BM and skids are the primary cause. I'd take them a few times, but I'm certain 2 of the 3 would lose interest in seeing me almost immediately, and the third not too long after that. I'd be fine. I'd miss my guy terribly though.
Nope~ I happen to really like
Nope~ I happen to really like my SKs but DF is my only connection to them. Once the connection is gone, our relationship is over.
Ss13 lives with us ft and
Ss13 lives with us ft and does EOWe with bm. If something happened to dh, I'm. It sure she'd even want him - unless of course she could receive some sort of social security payment as a result, then she might.
Assuming that didn't happen, I always wonder I he'd stay with me or go to sil.
No. SD22 was not a bad kid
No. SD22 was not a bad kid but I would have had no desire to see her, much less have her over for visitation.
Maybe 1 sk out of the 3.
Maybe 1 sk out of the 3.
I wouldn't be expected to as
I wouldn't be expected to as I doubt BM would even consider it. I also doubt the kids would be too fussed about not seeing me - we so get on well but have not exactly bonded ,we're in each others company a lot so have no choice but to get on.
However ,thinking about it ,I do have their half brother and sister which I know they'd want to see but think it would be taking them to their mums ,not them coming here. It wouldn't bother me if I was expected to carry on visitation as they're all good kids and are at that teenage stage so pretty much look after themselves !!
Even if DF were to end up
Even if DF were to end up with full custody, if he died, I'd hand the girls over to someone in his family. Then they could battle with BM and/or her family over custody.
I thinking having custody of or regular visits with former SKs would put a huge strain new relationships. Can you imagine dealing with your SO's BKs AND former SKs he refuses to cut ties with.
When my father died, my SM
When my father died, my SM didn't abandon us. She still calls me on my birthday and on DD's bday. My DD3 calls her Nanna.
And she was around during the tween/teenage years. And I was a real jerk! But she still loves us. So based on her example I would still want to see my SS7. I would at least call him on his birthday and to check in on him once in a while.
Since my SS is 21 and a
Since my SS is 21 and a viable adult this pole is a moot point for our family.
However, he is my son and I would continue to be his dad if heaven forbid my wife were to pass away.
If his mom had passed when he was a minor, I would have battled the Sperm Clan to their last resource to maintain custody of my son. It would have bankrupted them and certainly would have cost me plenty but I would have done it none the less.
If his mom and I had co-deceased when he was a minor our entire estate was to be held in trust for him until he turned 40 or completed a Bachelor's degree from an accredited college or university whichever came first. Our executors were under strict instruction to ensure that the Sperm Clan got not a penny of benefit from our estate while SS was a minor and to pay for his university studies and living expenses for no more than 5 years after graduating from HS.
This was our method of parenting and countering the toxic influence of the Sperm Clan from beyond the grave if it had been necessary.
My family were all very committed to gaining custody if something had happened to his mom and I.
Fortunately everyone was spared that nightmare. Most importantly SS was spared the nightmare of being raised by his toxic toothless moron Sperm Clan and did not have to be primarily influenced by the shallow and polluted end of his gene pool.
Of course not. That's just
Of course not. That's just weird. What if you remarry?
I would not have. They would
I would not have. They would have gone to their father and after seeing them off with a sad face I would not make any attempts to contact any of them.
The sad face would be for their benefit not because I'd be sad.
No I would not. Too much
No I would not. Too much damage has been done.
I am actually going to fight
I am actually going to fight for residential custody- we have a very sizeable life insurance policy on DH just for this. BM is a horrible, violent, detrimental, and mentally unstable person. She is on and off supervised visits, and it is so bad. We have a plan in place, I dont necessarily think that I will win, but I will try. Sks have lived with me and DH for 6 years so far. If I can not win, MIL will file and then transfer rights if possible. We have a few ideas with our attorney.
What happens if one of BM's
What happens if one of BM's family members decide they want custody?
I'd still have a decent
I'd still have a decent chance. In the CO it actually discusses BMs family basically staying out of parenting decisions. There have been a lot of issues with them as well. But it explicitly lists them out as needing to "allow birth parents to make decisions" and to keep them out of parental decisions- I think is how it's worded.
I would probably still try to
I would probably still try to have some relationship with SS through grandparents (DH's dad adores me) but I wouldn't do visitation.
PLUS our visitation is based on DH's work schedule so it would be kind of hard for BM to demand someone to take him when DH wouldn't be working - He has him 15/21 days he is home to ensure time rather than the normally EOWE most merchant marines get stuck with and ultimately lose time because if the weekend doesn't fall when they can get off the boat.
No. I wouldn't mind seeing
No. I wouldn't mind seeing SS14 occasionally, taking him out for dinner and whatnot, but BM wouldn't give me the choice.
No Way!!!
No Way!!!
NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! LOL cute kid & all ... but nnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooo He's got a mama
I hope I don't ever have to
I hope I don't ever have to make that choice, but I would want to. He calls his stepsister his sister, they have grown so close and he has another half sister. He knows that I love him (I have grown over the years to do so) and would miss him greatly.
Now, whether BM, Ms. golden uterus, would allow that is another story!
No, I would not. DH and I
No, I would not.
DH and I talked about something like this one time and he mentioned that he hopes I would still see SD if something ever happened to him (I don't think he meant support her, but just to still be a part of her life).
I might see her occasionally but it definitely would not be a regular thing.
I am the happiest when she is not around.
I DID take my step son from
I DID take my step son from my previous marriage for awhile for visitation. Problem was the mother/son bond dissolved pretty fast and as his dad wasn't really taking responsibility as a parent I watched my former step son's behaviour take a real nose dive. When the ex lost his job and ended up basically homeless I took ex step son in for a short period of time...I would NEVER do that again. I think we used to have a fantastic relationship but it was 3 years after his dad and I broke up at that point and I just didn't know this person anymore. He took advantage of me and after trying desperately to get him back on track and responsible for his actions I gave up. I finally told him "move to your moms or you're out on the street." Went to his moms and then she kicked him out too.
I think now done is done. If current SO and I split there'll be no looking back to him OR his child. It's probably less confusing to the child in the long run anyway.
I personally would try to
I personally would try to keep visitation with SD. Not for myself,but for her. If something happened to FDH (God forbid) she still has her 3 half siblings I would like for her to stay in touch and still grow up knowing them.
And BM is a real piece of work, I would hate to see how SD would turn out without a positive female roll model in her life.
So yes, I would keep visitation with SD... Mainly for the kids though.
HELL NO
HELL NO
Absofriggenlutley NOT!!!!
Absofriggenlutley NOT!!!!
If they want to visit, yes.
If they want to visit, yes.
Eh, I'd do it until it
Eh, I'd do it until it inevitably petered out. As far as everyone knows I'm a devoted stepmom and we have a "beautiful family". Honestly though I'm dying inside and the BM and skids are the primary cause. I'd take them a few times, but I'm certain 2 of the 3 would lose interest in seeing me almost immediately, and the third not too long after that. I'd be fine. I'd miss my guy terribly though.