What punishment would you give....POLL
Last week was open house for My BD6 and SS10's school. After 3 weeks of being in school, the teachers tell you how the kids are doing so far. We stop at BD6's room first and she is doing great. Then we make it to SS10's room. The teacher tells us that he doesn't take notes down, he's not doing his homework and he daydreams a lot. Also, when they have a test and they don't do good, she gives them a chance to correct a bad test. They can take it home, fix the wrong answers and have a parent sign it and she will give them the new score. He didn't do it. He left it as is. He didn't take the FREE grade. What kid wouldn't take a FREE grade? I don't get it.
The actual part that I need the poll on is this; the teacher told us at the end of our conversation that he erased a kids name on an assignment and put his name on it and turned it in :jawdrop: I didn't think he would do that, but he proved me wrong huh? My DH was sooooooooo mad. He was doing the same things last year and he got in trouble, but this year he seemed all ready to do his math and get it over with so we didn't think it was this bad. I knew something was off and figured the teacher would tell us with a note sent home or at open house. Well she did! DH is oblivious to some things when it comes to him. Big shocker huh, but I knew something was off.
Well, they have to write all their assignments down in their planner and all we have seen for 3 weeks was math only and maybe a day of reading. THAT's IT. I thought that was kind of strange b/c I remember being in 5th grade and getting a ton of work. Now they have a website that teachers record grades and homework assignments, but we didn't have the password yet so we couldn't check. So it's the 3rd week of school and he is missing a ton of work and is cheating. REAL NICE! Good way to start the year out huh?
So what punishment would you give for that?
He received a nice whoopin for it and he's grounded, but I wanted to see what else you had in mind. I had other things in mind too, but DH wouldn't take me up on them. DH will give him the benefit of the doubt that he wont do it again and probably let him go out soon. SS10 was asked why he did it and he said b/c he doesn't wanna do homework. That's it, he just doesn't wanna do it so it's ok now and that's it.
I have been going through
I have been going through this for years year years. If it were my birthchild everything would be taken away until improvement was shown but as they are my stepkids, shoot we cant even ground them without DHs or BM and her family getting mad. Now, if you add in them doing some type of chore.. were even worse.
If kiddo gets in trouble with
If kiddo gets in trouble with me, and i send him to time out while DH is at work... when he comes home he makes kiddo apologize to me and then re-punishes him. Poor kiddo... but it translates to him respecting us both and being a mostly very well behaved child. BM has no concept of kiddo's daily life and does zero parenting - she never gets him if she is alone, only if she is going to a friends house, with her boyfriend, or seeing boyfriends family or her family ... basically she sleeps in on her day off, gets him after we have fed him breakfast, dressed him, played with him, and fed him lunch, then she shows him off for a few hours, then shuts him away with a movie or some toys so she can hang with the adults and then brings him back to us to bathe, feed, read stories to and put to bed. So ya know... she really doesnt have any business having an opinion about how we handle the other 99.9 percent of kiddos life.
I said the same thing. If it
I said the same thing. If it were BD6 doing that it would be very different. We don't have to deal with BM so that's a plus, but it doesn't change that he is doing it and we can't get him to stop. It's like, why lie? we can see it on the computer now anyway so it's not like he can get away with it. It's like he lies in that minute so he doesn't get in trouble. Then, once we find it out and we can call him out in it, he gets in twice as much trouble.
By him not paying attention doesn't help him when he gets to the next grade. It's now twice as hard b/c you didn't pay attention last year. This is why there are kids that can't read in high school. It's b/c they are lazy and not b/c of a disability.
If that was kiddo, I would
If that was kiddo, I would send him to tutoring an hour or two a day until his grades go up - instead of whatever fun thing he usually does after school. I'd probably make him apologize to the teacher for trying to pass off work that wasnt his and for behaving in such and un-gentlemanly manner and to the other kid for taking credit for his work and being a little scoundrel. DH would probably revoke his tv, internet, phone priviledges indefinitely and make him write an essay on moral values and keep rewriting it until dh was happy with it(lol kinda kidding but not really...). Kiddo would be in deep doo-doo.
I said he should've wrote an
I said he should've wrote an essay on cheating. DH said if he does it again, then he can write that. I also said we would have a clean house b/c that would be part of your punishment. Along with writing a couple pages of "I will not cheat and I will not lie. Those things on top of being grounded. I like the part about apologizing to the other kid. I thought the teacher, but now that you say that the other kid should get one too. IF I suggested ALL of this, DH would think I am being to hard on SS. IDC, b/c if my BD6 was cheating I would put my foot up her A** and she would know not to do that again.
He def. needs tutoring. I am going to look into that at their school. It's a new school so we figured, new school, new start. The only part of that equation that is missing is same old student=same beginning as last year.
If he does it AGAIN? Hasn't
If he does it AGAIN? Hasn't he done it twice already??
Exactly. I guess he thinks
Exactly. I guess he thinks since he gave him a nice spankin this time that he learned his lesson as opposed to last time he just grounded him. Sometimes I wanna smack DH upside the head...
I really like iwishyouwould's
I really like iwishyouwould's suggestions. If it were my kid, I would literally do everything she suggested. None of that is unreasonable. Especially the part about owning the responsibility about cheating, and here is why: FDH is a prof at a university here. He was just on a committee for a girl who was caught cheating on a paper. He voted to expel her from the university. Too harsh? No, because she showed premeditation, and made attempts to cover up her deed, which shows she knew it was wrong, and did it anyway. If y'all don't fix this NOW, in 10 years, this could be your skid.
I tried telling him he would
I tried telling him he would get suspended and possibly kicked out of school for cheating, but I don't think it registered when I said it. I actually think he should've been held back in 4th grade. He is behind and putting him in 5th is not helping him. He can barely divide 2 #'s at a time. Multiplication is hard at times. It's like, from 3rd or 4th grade on out 3/4 of your math revolves around multiplying and dividing so it's not looking good for him. I have sat down with him and it's like he stares at the paper. He needs a really good tutor and to find some morals along the way.
He got all 3. He got the
He got all 3. He got the whoopin, he is grounded and my DH starts off sitting with him, but I have more patience so I sit after he can't do it anymore. It's like he gets the work for a minute, then it's gone the next day. It's frusterating after a year of the same thing. We sit, we help him, he lies about having homework and then gets in trouble b/c we find out. We will sit with him though, but that's why I think a tutor would work better. Sometimes it's easier for someone other than the people in your own house helping you out. IDK, it's exhausting.