You are here

Newbie Here

morgan_minx80's picture

Hi everyone, im Rachelle. Im SM to 3 lovely kids, SD16, SS10 and SD8. Bit of the background. Iv been with my DP for 2 years now, he's been divorced for nearly 2 years. BM asked him to leave and said that she didnt love him anymore. DP moved out. Within a short space of time BM moved her now DF into the marital home. Moves into his house with the 2 kids SS10 and SD8 (SD16 is from another BM). The divorce is acrimonious but they remain civil during proceedings. Onto the actual problem. BM's DF is a convicted rapist. He was convicted back in 2005 and served 3 years in prison. When DP found out that he was living with the kids he was very naturally upset. He contacted social services and the police. They did the welfare checks ect and deemed that the DF wasnt a risk as he hadnt commited a crime against a child (it was his ex partner he raped).

Last year SS10 behaviour become increasingly erratic. After a few weeks we found out what was wrong. SS alleged that DF had hit him on the head and that he pushes him out. He says that his sister was the favourite in the house and how the DF was always lovely to SD but not to SS. During one bad time when we were taking the kids home from weekend visitation with their dad SS kicked off really bad and broke some stuff in his nans house. BM was there and I went out to talk to her and said that SS was scared of her DF. It would have been easier getting through to a brick wall. BM marched back in the house and said to my DP "here, he's your's, you have him, im done with it" She promply left with SD and SS come home with us. My partner then went to the solicitors to formalise it through court with a residence order. In that time it come to going to court BM got pregnant. She had the baby earlier this year. During that time she contested the residence order so this is why court took months to sort. Cafcass did a report and ascertained wishes and feelings of both SS and SD. When BM read the Cafcass report in court she agreed to let the residence order go through uncontested. DP got full custody of his son and a contact order for his daughter. This was in April. Now its transpiring that SD is also unhappy at home as they are pushing her out because the DF has got his little baby girl. At the moment they spend alternating weekends with each parent and also half of the holidays. My DP has got advice about applying for residency of his daughter but has been told that unless the same thing happens again or BM neglects SD then his chances wont be good.

Any advice, thanks for reading

dreamingofhappiness's picture

Welcome... Nice to have you here.

The only advice I can give you is to try for full custody of SD as well...

Do not worry about what happens at BM house. YOU CAN NOT control that. Worry and focus on the SD and getting her to a happy place.

Allow the SD to voice her opinion to the courts and go from there....