Need advice on disagreement I have with wife for the stepdaughter and my kids after school setup
In our marriage we have 3 kids, 2 from my previous marriage and 1 from hers. My biological kids attend an after-school program and the step daughter does not. Instead her grandparents, (her mothers parents), pick her up and she hangs with them and it is like a Disney vacation daily for her because they spoil the heck out of her. I do not think it is fair and that all the kids should attend the after-school care. Cost is not an issue now that we are married. I understand why her parents did it before we were married because she could not afford it but now that we are married it is not an issue.
I believe the kids should all be treated equally and not have the extra special after school fun just because her parents live here, (mine live 2 states away). So if they are going to pick her up shouldn't they pick up all the kids? I honestly feel like their is favoritism and it is causing me to harbor some resentment which is not good.
Idgit, Think about what you
Idgit,
Think about what you are asking.... Grandparents will favor their own grandchild, or course. Life is not fair. Tell your bio kids grandparents to do it, for the others, if you want equality. Can you work that out?
Count your blessing you have one less child to pay for in the after care and that grandparents have time to bond with this child; if your children are jealous you need to deal with them, as it is just the beginning of many more serious issues to come.
You cannot expect your wife to suddenly put her child in after care when she has willing, loving grandparents available who have been keeping the child all along; that is not fair to her or her child or the kind hearted grandparents.
It is best to learn at an early age that everything in life is not equal.
I have the feeling that this
I have the feeling that this isn't really about grandparents.
Is your step daughter waving gifts and treats in front of their faces to make them jealous? Is she bragging about it and hurting their feelings? If so, then your wife needs to deal with it because that is just rude and hurtful. If that's not the case, then let it go.
I agree with everyone else.
I agree with everyone else. No way should the Grandparents go without seeing their grandchild because YOU are upset and claim it is not fair.
It that was their agreement before you came along, and they are still happily providing after school care, then it is none of your business to change it.
And it is totally unrealistic to expect the grandparents to go from watching ONE child to THREE every day.
That is a lot for anyone.
Unless there is some reason
Unless there is some reason this set up is inconvenient or causing more of a scheduling hassle.. I would let things go on as they have.
You kept your arrangement
:jawdrop: You kept your arrangement before marriage... why is DW not allowed to stick to hers?
This is plain stupid and you need to grow up.
Does this little girl behave
Does this little girl behave in spoiled, unpleasant ways in your home? Is that your real issue?
If so, doesn't matter what the grandparents did. Just address the behavior in your home. She should have chores, make her bed, be polite, etc. at home like all the kids should. That's all you can be really concerned about.
Life is not fair. Your kids grandparents live far away, you did not inherit a small European country, your wife wishes she were 2 inches taller and five pounds thinner. That's life.
You really can't take someone's grandparents away because your kids don't have some nearby. If you want to look through a longer lens, your kids may be picking up better social skills as they are required to interact with other kids for a longer period of time. Nothin' wrong with that.