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Mother in law problems with Skid...

One Step Back's picture

I have terrible trouble with OH's mother interfering with our method of discipline for SS7.

She has openly had a go at OH in front of SS, totally undermining everything that he'd just done. I am having trouble bonding with said child anyway, and MIL accused us of picking on SS because he cried a lot.
A) he cries to manipulate everyone around him. He screamed like a wailing banshee when the cat scratched him once b) he was crying when she saw him because he didn't want us to move house. If he doesn't like something, he just cries.

MIL treats him like a precious gem, but not our daughter.

I've had to work hard to make OH see that she's damaging his relationship with his son and also mine. SS has been banned from staying overnight whilst I'm around because he lied to BM about me, but according to MIL, he shouldn't be punished for his serious lies!
I'm getting totally fed up with MIL, to the point where if OH doesn't start dealing with her properly, I'm going to explode at her. I've kept a check on it so far - and only spoken politely. Not next time. She's also banned from seeing SS at our new home.

Anyone else have problems with in laws mollycoddling one child, but not another, to the point where it starts damaging your relationship with both OH and Skids?

JAMS2011's picture

She can't do that

First things first there is no way she can forbid your husband from seeing his son or forbid your husband from having his son overnight. It is his son. If you husband is allowing her to do that then he's an idiot and needs to wake up and get a lawyer. Your husband has just as much rights to his son and she does.

I am in the same situation (sort of) with my in laws/step daughter/baby mama. She cries to get out of everything and she plays people. She is manipulative but she is in a hard place. If she loves one person the other person gets sad. It is a lot for a small child to handle.

As far as MIL goes they over step boundaries way to much. More than likely when your SS was younger your MIL did a lot of the raising with him. So she probably thinks of your SS as her son. So not only did you take her actual son away by marrying him, you also took away her grandson who she thinks of as a son. Your parenting techniques are replacing hers and she has lost control. I bet she is even really close with the BM because that is exactly how mine is. She wants nothing to do with us and is always trying to cause drama between our family and the BM family.

I have two children with my husband and my MIL has nothing to do with them. She doesn't come to their birthday parties, dance recitals, nothing! However, she goes to everything for my Step daughter, and sits with the BM and I have even seen her tuck in the BM thong once #classy. We don't really get along so I don't mind that I don't have to be around her all of the time I just think it is sad for my two daughters when they get older and they want to know why Grandma loves SD5 so much but doesn't love D3 or D1. Though, that is something that the MIL will have to answer for.

It's not a competition. They will try to make it one but it is not a competition at all. It is not a game. The sooner you refuse to play the sooner they will move on to something else.

One Step Back's picture

My OH is a pushover with women (except me strangely) as that's how he's been bought up.

MIL treats SS like he's the most precious thing in the world because he was her her husbands pride and joy and he passed a few years ago.
SS is manipulative and plays people because he has been bought up by a family who do exactly that. His 'real' sister (by BM) and BM/ BM's mother all manipulate and twist everything and it's all he knows. He told BM he didn't want to come round anymore as I make him look after and entertain DD(9 months), which is complete BS as I don't like him near her if the truth be told.

MIL has sent me 3 nasty texts now, different times, when me and OH were arguing and other things that didn't involve her. I'm very close to washing my hands of the woman completely and not letting her in our home. It's disgraceful that she treats her grand children differently.
SIL has twin boys due soon and she's looking for a 2 seater sports car. Perfect for just her and SS. I'm sure her daughter will be over the moon at the lack of interest or help given!

MIL actually didn't raise him at all. When she doesn't feel like it she has nothing to do with him either. It's a really odd relationship. Intense when they're together, but BM has neglected the child for years - which she knew about - and she did nothing about it! I'm the only one who has...

blessed3412's picture

Oh yes! My mil openly stated she would never love my bd bs or my bs with my husband as much as my sd . she has also come to our house and demanded to take her and not the other kids. Honestly I wish I could say it gets better but I don't believe it ever will Sad

One Step Back's picture

Wow. That is disgraceful.

My MIL may think it, but she's never had the balls to say it and she'd get her name told for nothing and thrown out of my home - permanently!

Rags's picture

Time to isolate MIL out of the lives of all of your family. Your DH's, your Skid's, your BK's and most importantly yours.