Losing my mind and my health
We have SD8 50/50, so she was with BM all last week. My SO and I got along and my daughter was cheerful and all was well for the most part. I started feeling a little anxious on Saturday because I knew SD8 would be back for her 7 day stay on Sunday at 4pm. I tried not to let it get to me and kept telling myself, stay calm, be nice, and don't let a 8 year old get the best of you.
She walks through the door and immediately sucks all the air out of the room and basically my daughter and I become nothing and it's all about her. I told my daughter to go ahead and go to her room and watch a movie and have some quiet time and I went to my room and read. During the night at 2am, I woke up drenched in sweat, screaming at the top of my lungs, I thought I was having a heart attack literally. It's anxiety and yes I'm on meds for it (those started when she started coming 50/50). It took over an hour to calm down and get my heart rate back to normal and then I was just so scared I never went back to sleep. She had been there less than 10 hours. I literally am starting to think this is going to kill me.
I just wish she would go back
I just wish she would go back to her BM. I just don't think I can take 7 days of this.
Every time she leaves it's
Every time she leaves it's great for 7 days and then she come back. I do not love this child and she won't allow me to even be her friend. She is only 8 so I have a minimum of 10 years of 50/50 if I stay with him.
Thank you, this is one thing
Thank you, this is one thing I love about this forum is how other people are going through the same things and actually understand and don't make you feel like the evil step mother for having these feelings about someone else's child.
I've tried that. I took her
I've tried that. I took her to get our nails done and lunch one Saturday. I let her pick the lunch spot and after I spent the money and a good portion of my Saturday she came back and her Dad the nail shop was boring and her lunch tasted bad. Everytime I try to do something special with just us, including a pottery class, painting party, day at the park with a picnic lunch, she acts like we are having a great time then the minute we get home, she tells him negative stuff so I just gave up on it and my daughter and I just go now and do our own thing and let him entertain the princess. Obviously the things I do are not up to snuff for her???
Ugh! Screw that, then! Hey,
Ugh! Screw that, then! Hey, you can honestly say you tried. You tried a hell of a lot harder than I tried with my skids at first. I was about 99.999% sure it'd end about like your experiences did - they'd have fun at the time, then go back to DH and/or BM and tell them how awful it was and blah blah blah.
So...yeah. Forget that idea. Honestly, if I were having panic attacks like you described above, I'd have to seriously reconsider subjecting myself to a minimum of 10 more years of that. That has GOT to be hard on your sanity, and your body.