I'm about to be featured on an episode of Snapped
After school yesterday SD8 was outside with my BD11 and they had the music on dancing in the yard and doing cartwheels and they were having a blast! It is rare my BD11 will play with SD8 because she is such a brat and can't just be a kid and have fun. I gave them about two hours of outside time and then called them in to do their chores and hit the showers. All the sudden SD8 fell in the floor LITERALLY fell in the floor and said, "OMG my arm hurts DAADDDDDDDDDDYYYYYY". I stood there in shock watching as DAAAAAAADDDDDDYYYYY ran to her and was like, "oh honey what's wrong, let daddy kiss your arm", I was thinking I've got something you can kiss d-bag. I almost threw up in my mouth a little. So she got out of her chores but DADDDDDDYYYYY did them for her. isnt' that sweet? But wait it gets better! My BD11 was coming through and doing her chores and tripped on the shoes SD8 left out and hit her face on the coffee table and the goose egg came up immediatly. She isn't a big whiny brat but she had tears and I knew it hurt pretty bad. I went to her and put some ice on it and sat with her and checked her out. How about SO told her to "brush it off"? I lost it. Right in front of the kids. I know better, I know I need to hold my tongue until we are alone but I lost it. I called him out for being a disney dad, I referred to him as DAAAAADDDDDDY (in the same whiney drawn out tone SD8 uses), told him my kid doesn't fake stupid injuries and the only reason she got hurt was because his brat left her damn shoes out because he never holds her accountable for her actions and that if something didn't change they needed to GTFO! So SO slept on the couch, but not before he laid in the bed with SD8 for about two hours coddling her because of her arm and how mean I am. So if you see me on the next episode of Snapped, you can say you knew me when.
I can't say I would have
I can't say I would have reacted any differently, good lord...I hate it when they point to random places on their bodies and say they hurt, daaaadddyyyy!!!!
Ugh. How's your daughter?
My daughter is 11 and she
My daughter is 11 and she plays all sorts of sports so she is a pretty tough kid.
Need an alibi? I'm sure we
Need an alibi? I'm sure we can assist with that.
What a brat. I don't blame you for how you reacted, I would have done that too. She needs a good butt kicking. I can send my DD8 over to do it for you! Your SO needs to grown a set with his kid, he has created a monster!
Yes I might need an alibi!
Yes I might need an alibi! LOL The bad part is it is MY house and yet I feel like I have no control anymore.
Yeah I know the feeling!
Yeah I know the feeling!
FFS. Whiners suck. And
FFS. Whiners suck. And whiners who whine to get out of responsibilities and their parent coddles them, suck even more. That is all.
It's ok you use all the F
It's ok you use all the F bombs you want! I threw one out last night to DAAAAADDDDDDYYYYY and I thought his mouth was going to hit the floor. I guess his sweet precious angel never hears that, oh wait except when she is at BM's because she cusses constantly at her kids. Oh well!
And SD8 wakes up at 4 am every single day of the week, so if she wakes me up I wake him up and not nicely. It's usually, WAKE UP, your kid is up making too much noise and shut the door behind you!
wow. It's like these skids
wow.
It's like these skids all go to the same training school on how to be sucky brats.
A few years ago, SD would constantly do the same thing. It tamed down at about 13, but good god. EVERYTHING hurt her, and it was always,"daaaaaadddddyyyyyyyy- my ankle, wrist, hand, foot, eyelashes hurt!" RIDICULOUS
OSD will point to a random
OSD will point to a random spot on her arm or leg, say it hurts, and DH will put icy hot or something on it. Like, you are going to tell me you hurt yourself lying in bed watching tv??? Maybe it's a bed sore!
My goddaughter(She's almost 9, same as YSD). Her mom told me about one day that she saw her hands, knees, and elbows were all scraped up, she asked her what in the world happened? Apparently she was running on the sidewalk, fell, scraped herself up pretty bad, so she went into the house, washed up, put bandaids on, changed her clothes, and took a nap. Lol, I love that girl, she is so tough and independent.
A bedsore! Maybe that is it.
A bedsore! Maybe that is it. Or maybe SD8 was whining so hard she pulled a muscle in her arm! If she gets a bugbite, that demands immediate attention from DAAAADDDDY and a bandaid. Also, every single day she comes home from school she has to inform me of some ailment she has, ie bug bite, sunburn, scratch, sore arm, sore leg, blah blah blah and of course if you look at her you can't see the bugbite, no sunburn, nothing. Yesterday as soon as she walked in she started to tell me and I held my hand up and said if you are going to complain you need to stop now save it for someone who wants to hear it. She said ok and turned around and skipped off. CRAZY
OSD did that to me too! She
OSD did that to me too! She started whining about something, and I said, I am not going to listen if you are going to whine! And she said ok, and skipped off, same as yours... There has got to be some kind of training camp we are unaware of...
If their is a camp for these
If their is a camp for these "special" children, I would like the address so I can return mine as defective.
I think it is the only way
I think it is the only way they can get attention from their BMs and they carry it over.
My SS14 STILL does that!
My SS14 STILL does that! Every stinking day he comes home from school and some personal injury tragedy occurred...yet very rarely is it any longer visible. And when it is...it's a floor burn from gym class on his knee, or a scratch from a pencil when he picked up...he's FOURTEEN, he whines as much as my DS7...and my DS's whine annoys me and he's told to toughen up! But DH....oh geese are you okay? Puhleeze! Irritates the f@$k out of me!
I KNEW there must be a
I KNEW there must be a training camp! Everything I read on here, I go "yep, I know what you mean".
If your DH doesn't correct
If your DH doesn't correct this crap NOW, your SD will still be doing this in her 20's. Trust me I know. I have for stepdaughters in their 20's, and two of them act like they can't wipe their own ass without my wife's help.
You had every right to go off on him
I keep thinking about that, I
I keep thinking about that, I mean if I stay in this relationship that is what I have to look forward to. She is only 8 so I have 10 years minimum before she stops coming every other week. But with the way he coddles her when she gets out of high school he will probably be like you can come and live with us and you don't have to work or be a productive member of society, I will still clean your room for you! The thought makes me want to drink bleach.
You are incredibly correct
You are incredibly correct here. If he doesn't stop her behavior now this kid is going to need someone to hold her hand all through her life. AND the hand holding will be done at your house....because she will be living you. I am oh so familiar with the outcome of this kind of parenting. I'm glad you lost it on your DH. He needs to hear reality.
I don't know how you ladies
I don't know how you ladies do it. . . the MASSIVE double standard!!! I got a taste of that when my grown son stayed with us for a couple of months before entering the Air Force!!! THANK GOD my bios were for the most part GROWN and didn't have to put up with that!
When my SS screeches like a
When my SS screeches like a banshee over some minor boo-boo, I just smile and say "And the Oscar goes to.....".
Sucks that your SO doesn't see SD8 for the manipulative little drama queen that she is. It must be nice for her to get out chores like that. Hope you stick around, I can't wait to see your blog posts about your SD in her teen years.
"DAAAADDDDDDYYYYYY!!! I'm pregnant!!!"
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I will
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I will not be raising any step grand babies I can assure you! I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to hang in there and help raise this brat. It's funny you award Oscar's. My BD11 tells SD8, "The Academy Awards are over". LOL! I don't even try not to laugh anymore, that shit is funny and I don't care who you are!
OSD got this little tiny
OSD got this little tiny shallow cut on her heel one time, it looked like if you had a blister and you popped it, just that top layer of skin. She screamed bloody fucking murder for like half an hour. It had a bit of dirt under it, so I said it needed to be flushed out with some Bactine (sting free, mind you) DH had to physically pin her down so I could do it, she was kicking and thrashing and screaming. It was the most insane thing I have ever seen. When either of them whine to me about some tiny paper cut type injury, I always just quietly walk to my tool box and pull out my metal cutters or a saw and offer to remove the offending limb for them. Shuts them right up.
I know how you feel. My SD
I know how you feel. My SD used to claim her ankle hurt. My DH AND Inlaws (we live close to each other and I'm talking all the inlaws) would say "She has a weak ankle!" and get her a pair of crutches and ace wrap that damn thing. It went so far as my DH getting a walking boot from our doctors office for her! even AFTER the doctor said there was nothing there he could find as an injury. It would go on like this for a couple days, She really liked to milk it for all it was worth. Then she'd be out running around until the next attack would come about. this went on until finally I had enough (watching this for a few years) I told my DH why is SD in sports if she has such weak ankles? Wouldn't there be a higher chance for her to get hurt? He then brought this up to SD.
Finally the ankle thing stopped. Thank GOD
OMG my in-laws are the same
OMG my in-laws are the same way with my skids. Every little bump,scrape,or sore area is a huge friggin deal and reason for suggesting to DH that they should be taken to the doctor. If one of them twists an ankle or hurts their knee jumping on the trampoline or riding their bikes they get it wrapped in Ace bandages or a knee brace put on,they've given them crutches too.And of course the skids eat it up.Its disgusting.
I was a very active kid,always outside,always biffing on my bike or stubbing my toe and my mom didn't fawn all over me.Id get it cleaned up and get back outside.I raised my kids the same way.
DH finally saw the light when his parents took SD14 to the doctor (we both had to work) for some tummy pains.They brought her back making it sound like her appendix would burst if we didn't keep her in bed and that she needed surgery ASAP. DH called the doc to get the real scoop and found that they thought it was the gall bladder,not a huge deal and she needed more texts.He went off on them for always blowing things out of proportion and they wont be doing doc appointments anymore.
I asked DH if they were like that with he and his 4 siblings growing up and he said hell no and admitted that its ridiculous as hell.
My OSD did the tummy pain
My OSD did the tummy pain thing too. Every morning and at night. My DH would call his mommy (cuz she's a self proclaimed Dr. Quinn Medicine women) and she would do the "it could be her appendix, she needs to been seen ASAP!) so off to the Doc we would go. The only reason this behavior stopped was because DH found out that BM dropped the kids ins.(which she was to keep on then per the divorce agreement) and we were stuck footing the bills so he finally put a stop to it.
Something very similar
Something very similar happened at my wedding reception of all things. SS was part of the wedding party at our wedding but somehow (don't ask me how) SS got it into his head that he was the "best man" (best man was really my brother). Well during the course of the wedding, SS got wind that the best man has to do a speech.
I can only imagine the sheer panic attack SS got!
When it got close to dinner time, SS started complaining of getting stomach pains. My in-laws, aunts and my father clustered around him to try and figure out what was wrong. Was it something he ate? Maybe he got punched in the stomach by accident?
SS was crying and clutching his stomoach. He just kept saying "I want to go home!" Over and over. My Dad offered to take him outside for some fresh air. DW was really worried, but I assured her that if there was something wrong with SS my Dad would take care of him.
Dad returned a few minutes later, he was red as a tomato from laughing so hard at the real reason behind SS's "stomach cramps".
To this day, whenever we mention this story to SS, SS doesn't remember the incident.
"Maybe he got punched in the
"Maybe he got punched in the stomach by accident?"
Bwahahahaha!
My MIL is psycho about that
My MIL is psycho about that too. OSS would complain often about headaches....complain complain complain...but if I said, "do you need Motrin?" No. MIL called because SS was over there and told her he had a headache. And he gets them kinda often (like homework time, and chore time especially!) she calls to bitch at DH that WE NEED TO GET HIM CHECKED OUT!! HE COULD HAVE A BRAIN TUMOR!!! Dead fricking serious. A brain tumor. I took him to the eye dr...no eye problems, but he was told if it continurpes then he may have to start wearing glasses....funny thing....hasn't had a headache in MONTHS.
The same thing here with my
The same thing here with my SD7 and BS3. BS3 is clumsy, he falls all the time, has scratches and bruises from climbing around on his play structure in the back yard, etc. Basically just a little boy. He rarely cries anymore, not for shots at the doctor, not for boo-boos, etc. On the rare occasions where he does cry, it is something big - like last night he fell and smacked his nose on the floor. He had a bloody nose, cried for a couple of minutes and then told me to let him go and he went and played some more. For lack of a better phrase, he "takes it like a man."
SD7 on the other hand throws Oscar-worthy fits if anything happens to her. A shot at the doctor's office? Bawling until she gets a lollipop. Falls off her scooter and gets a skinned knee - won't stop crying for an hour, and then won't put the scraped knee in the bath at night because it huuuuuuuurts! DW tells her to knock it off, if she can't calm down she needs to go to her room, etc - but the behavior continues. I imagine she gets attention when she does that at BioDad's house so she just assumes it will work at ours as well.
So what to do? I see one
So what to do? I see one choice besides leaving him because he is unlikely to change.
You're older kid is already on to the tactics now explain to her why you're going to stop being involved in the raising of the younger one and disengage. It's more difficult when you're all living together full time but it can be done. Give this article a read and see if it will help.
http://steptogether.org/disengaging.html
A few years ago, one kid who
A few years ago, one kid who was 4 put snow down the 12yr old skid's back. OH MY GOD the drama.
3 people crowded into the bathroom to towel her off, and then she sat and shivered on the couch wrapped in a blanket in front of the fire place. I sat at the kitchen table observing and shaking my head.
first off- a 4yr old? how big are her hands???? How much snow can they hold? And for God's sake we live in Canada- get real.
The whole thing was ridiculous, but it wasnt just DH... NO... also MIL. nutso
Well he sees that my child
Well he sees that my child has good manners, is tough, is smart, and doesn't complain so if the knot on her head is growing by the moment she will be fine. No need to be concerned. And surely who cares that it was his daughters shoes that tripped her up!
Funny you say that about your SS, SD8 complained so much he took her to the Dr after I bitched non-stop until he did and the Dr. flat out said nothing is wrong with her! She could have some growing pains but nothing to the severity she is saying. So a medical Dr. told him to his face his kid is full of shit yet he still babies her!
>Now get this, this kid is
>Now get this, this kid is supposedly allergic to LATEX,<
My SS is allergic to latex (no, for real). SS actually has the presence of mind to actually remember that he has this allergy. What happens is, the skin under and around where the latex bandaid is applied swells a little and turns red. It's happened to SS enough times that when he is out of the house (like at school) and if he gets cut and someone tries to apply a band-aid, SS will refuse it if the bandaid is latex-based.
*lol* Oh yes, this one I can
Your DH makes me want to
:sick: Your DH makes me want to puke. These pathetic parents like your DH raise whiney weasely little brats who never figure out how to function as viable adults. They never understand that they have to work to earn, perform to advance, and that they are not special in the least. Performance is special.
I do not think I could have delayed booting your DH and his sickening spawn over this issue. When DH ran to his drama queen get out of doing chores fake the injury daughter then had the balls to tell your actually injured daughter with a welt on her head to "suck it up" that would have been the last straw for me. The fact that his daughter was the root cause of the injury to your daughter (not picking up her shit) would have sealed the deal on their immediate eviction in my book.
Take care of yourself and your daughter.
You can always tell your SD
You can always tell your SD next time she tries it:
"Oh ok. Yours chores will be waiting for you the next time you are here". And if your husband does them for her, give her new ones.
I think the bottom line is
I think the bottom line is the DHs have no balls. I think they are afraid of not being the favorite parent. I had to LEAVE my Dh for a while (and we are still in counseling) to get it through his thick skull that I AM NOT PUTTING UP WITH THIS SH*T.